When Home’s Not-So-Homey Anymore

By Elizabeth

So you’ve grown up, moved out, and now you’re living on your own. Still, whenever anybody asks where you’re from, you proudly state the place where you grew up instead of your current address. And no matter how much you love your college experience, there is still a comfortable feeling associated with returning home.

Your old bed.

Your old couch.

Your mom’s cooking. Mmmm.

However, no matter how long since you’ve left home, goin’ back never feels the same. Something changes; it may be a tangible difference or a change in emotion, but it’s different just the same.

When I returned home for the first time for Thanksgiving of my freshman year, I discovered the intensity of my mom’s home improvement kick. I drove away from a white house in September and pulled up to a blue one in November. My dingy twin bed was now a queen, complete with a handcrafted quilt and a wool blanket (a welcome change, don’t get me wrong). The pictures of my friends and I were out of site, and my shelves were now ridden with family photos and potpourri.

My room was no longer my room and it just felt weird.

However, there were also changes that run much deeper than my mother’s new home makeover. What would you do if you came home and the family you thought you had was completely different? This happened for me two years after I left for college. My dad took me out to dinner this past summer and told me that he and my mother were separating. The next day, he moved out. I had never lived in that house without him, and having to pick up the phone to talk to him just felt wrong.

There are so many emotions that come with changes like that, whether it’s the death of a family pet or a parent’s illness. And honestly, each time you go home, something else will probably change and evoke the same emotion. When things get hard to deal with, realize that you are really not alone. I’m sure many people you know are also going through some pretty tough changes at home. Be sure to go to your friends for advice, support, or a safe place to vent. The worst thing is letting these emotions build up without letting them out periodically.

When things change, it is all too easy to start thinking that your hometown is no longer your home. No matter how powerless you feel over these changes, try to remember all of the experiences that you’ve had over the years. Even if you don’t live in the same house or even the same state, you don’t have to leave your memories in the dust. And remember, your family will always be your family, regardless of what shape it may take. Home is where you’re loved, which pretty much covers anywhere you may ever go.