Holiday Flings, Part 2: Holding On

Okay, okay. You found your fling. But classes are about to begin again, and you’ve got to pack up, move out, and put your scholar-face on. What are you going to do about the amazing hottie you picked up over the break?

Well, that all depends. What do you want? What does he want? How much do you really think you click? And by “click,” I do NOT mean another work that ends in “-ck.” Because if you’re going to make it work, you’re going to have to jive beyond the boundaries of physical attraction.

Take into consideration the fact that you’re going to have a college workload, assignments, deadlines, and the usual university-sponsored (or bar-sponsored) social engagements. If he’s in school, he will too. Sure, it was easy to escape when you were both visiting your parents, but what about when you’ve got your uber-fun roommate and a dorm full of friends every night of the week? If you still think he’s worth it, read on.

Next, ask yourself what you want from him. Do you want a boyfriend? Are you willing to be exclusive, even if it’s long distance? Or, do you really just like his company and want to keep him in your life? Depending on the category he falls into, your relationship could go in many different directions. If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, continue.

Before breaching the “Let’s Keep in Touch” convo, see if you can read him. Does he seem like a player, or does he do sweet things for you even though you’re leaving? Do you only have heated holiday sex, or do you actually enjoy each other’s company? If you two are on totally different levels, your idea of how the fling should continue might clash with his idea of how the fling will end. You think he feels the same way? Proceed.

Keep it casual. Don’t put all of you eggs in one basket when you know that long-distance relationships can be difficult. Exchange numbers, emails, Facebook accounts, whatever. The truth is that you probably won’t be able to see each other for a bit, but you can keep in casual contact.

This will simultaneously allow you to see if the relationship is worth hanging on to, and let you get closer to the guy in a friendship-way. Sure, you had crazy sex for a week or two, but let’s face it- it’s not so convenient anymore. You need to decide if you can handle being “just friends” if it means you get to keep him in your life. If you can’t, it was officially a holiday fling.

If you can, there are a number of routes the relationship could take. I fell in love in Europe several years ago, and I am visiting the hunk in a couple of short weeks. Am I excited for his company? Absolutely. Do I hope we can get it on? Definitely. Will I make the first move? Certainly not. I’d much rather keep him in my life than be a forgotten sex toy.

Make your decisions wisely.