The City: Man Up

Well, it looks like Whitney didn’t need our advice after all. Seems like everything is perfect in her world. She’s got the job, the apartment, the friends and the man. She’s even got Diane Von Freaking-Furstenburg playing with her hair!

Totally unfair.

But Whitney isn’t 100% perfect. In fact, tonight’s episode proved to me that Whitney is actually a real person. You know you/your friends have done and said the same exact things as her when dealing with a dude who just wouldn’t commit:

“We need to take a step back and decide what we want to do.”

“It’s my life and my time and he doesn’t own me or my time.”

Yes, Whitney – convince yourself that this whole “we’re not official” thing is mutual and that you both have to decide what you want. Convince everyone else that you are still looking around for a spark with someone else. We all know that the “we” in that statement means “Jay,” and that you want nothing more than for that bearded Australian to own both you and your time.

I didn’t think you’d succeed. Not tonight at least. Not after you looked to your dear friend Erin for man advice. Erin, the girl who has never had a relationship with someone in the same zip code. Erin, who shoved her man into a cab before he could even finish telling her that he wanted to move to the same city as her. Yeah, she seems like the one with all the answers.

And then you tried and make Olivia Palermo (and America) believe that you weren’t going to play that whole lunch-date-with-the-boring-financial-guy thing against Jay to get him to finally commit. You threw that information out before your ass hit the seat and you stuck your hands in the bowl of complimentary tortilla chips!

Although I have to say: well played, Port. Well played, indeed. One awkward lunch with a dude from work and you have Jay, a bottle of wine and a romantic makeout sesh in front of your floor-to-ceiling windows.

I tried it once and all I got was a late night text telling me my guy chose his ex gf (who was still in high school) over me. But then again, I am no Whitney Port. DVF wants nothing to do with my hair. Hell, I can’t even afford her dress on clearance!

I have to say, though, I am a little disappointed in how quickly all the pieces fell into place for Ms. Port and The City. Partly because I want her life (and wardrobe) and will never get it, partly because it sets a bad example for girls getting ready to move into the real world, and mostly because the Jay drama was the only real thing happening on the show.

What is everyone (and I mean everyone) going to talk about now? Every conversation starts with, “How are things with Jay?” Will MTV turn the show into 15 minutes instead of 30? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.