5 Changes We Hope Obama Will Make as President

Today, over two million people are crowded into the national mall in Washington, D.C. to witness the inauguration of our 44th president, and still millions more are watching from home. All of America will be listening as he addresses the nation, hoping to hear what sort of ideas he has for our future.

While most people are hoping to hear how he will fix our economy, healthcare system, or education, I’m hoping that he’ll address some other issues that haven’t been covered by the media.

1. Making early Monday morning classes and Friday afternoon classes optional - Because the last thing anyone wants to do after a long and exciting (yet exhausting) weekend is drag themselves out of bed and into class, only to fall asleep again. And not having to go to those late afternoon classes on Friday would allow us to get the weekend started a few hours earlier. ThanksSoMuch!

2. Banning women over the age of 50 from wearing velour sweatsuits- Seriously, though. Wrinkles and hot-pink Juicy Couture just don’t mix. Especially when paired with Ugg boots or Crocs.

3. Vowing to do all press conferences and State of the Union addresses shirtless – That’d definitely help keep our attention during the boring bits.

4. Making it illegal for guys to sing Beyonce or Pussycat Dolls in bars - Because that overly enthusiastic, drunken rendition of “Single Ladies” is wrong and should be punishable by steep fines and extended stays in the clink.

5. Re-allocating funds in the budget to address the real issues in this country: the lack of low fat fried snacks – A fat free fried Oreo? A fat free waffle fry? That would get us back on top of the world.