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Dear Tuffy Luv,
I go to school out of state about an 8 hour drive from home. What should I do about a long term relationship? Should I have one at my home state or my school state? And how do I keep up with either one when I’m in the other state?
Long Distance Lover
Dear Long Distance Lover,
Really, really good question.
I guess the only answer I can honestly give you (and it’s annoying, I know) is that you should take love where you find it.
It is this girl’s opinion that love is not something you can force. If you meet a guy at school who you like but there’s someone you love at home–well, how can you give up love for like? The same is true in reverse: If there’s a guy you like at home but a guy you love at school, you should go for the love.
What I’m trying to say is, you actually physically can’t pick where you’re going to have a relationship because you can’t choose who you fall in love with. Which, honey, is not to say that you can’t force yourself to have feelings that are more convenient than other feelings. In this case, I gotta say, school is more convenient; you’re there most of the year and your friends will know him, etc. etc. etc. BUT! This kind of calculation of love is SUCH a bad idea, I can’t even tell you. You gotta find love when you find it and where you find it, not because it’s more convenient in one location than another.
As Toni Morrison once wrote: “Love is or it ain’t. Thin love ain’t love at all.”
Hope this is helpful, girl. Good luck in love.
Hearts & Skulls,