Eff You, Blakely, Georgia

January 29, 2009 Posted in Reality

I am usually not one to hate an entire group of people for the mistakes of one (except OSU students…I really do strongly dislike them all), but this time it’s different.

By Lauren

This time it involves food. And not just any food, peanut butter.

Peanut butter has been the one constant in my life over the past 4 years. When boys upset me, I turned to peanut butter on a spoon. When friends upset me, I turned to peanut butter mixed with vanilla ice cream. When my jeans got too tight from all that PB on a spoon/in ice cream, I turned to peanut butter Power Bars to fuel my workouts. And when I got sick of working out and instead wanted to numb the pain, I smoked some pot and then turned to PB and Cheese crackers.

Peanut butter was my friend when I was feeling lonely, and my support base when I needed it most.

And now those f**kers in Blakely, Georgia have gone and ruined it for me. According to news reports, the people of Blakely are behind this whole peanut butter emergency; their factory was full of bacteria (not to mention roaches) and they knew their products were testing positive for Salmonella…but shipped them out anyway.

And now the country is freaking out and everyone is pulling my precious peanut butter products from store shelves. Even organic products! No one knows how widespread this outbreak is or when it will be resolved, so we all just have to sit tight as more and more products get added to the list.

So, thanks, people of Blakely, Georgia. Thanks a lot! My only saving grace in this moment of emotional stress is the knowledge that my precious Girl Scout Tagalongs were not affected.

164217 CommentsEff+You%2C+Blakely%2C+Georgia2009-01-29+16%3A39%3A29Lauren+-+University+of+Michigan on "Eff You, Blakely, Georgia"

Natalie says:
Thu, 29th Jan 20097:32 am

Try finding some at a local co-op that is ground in store from peanuts. All the stuff in our fridge is totally clear.

lee says:
Thu, 29th Jan 20098:22 am

I know this may be a stupid question but what about Almond butter?

Kelly says:
Thu, 29th Jan 20098:31 am

I am so happy that those girl scout cookies aren't infected because I love those things. And I have the same relationship with peanut butter… there is a variety for EVERY occasion.

Jennifer Lance says:
Thu, 29th Jan 20093:33 pm

I almost couldn't leave a comment here, because I was born right after an OSU game (straight to the hospital from the horseshoe-Northwestern, not Michigan), but anyways I came to a realization today. My son took the organic peanut butter out of the fridge, and I panicked. We've been eating this peanut butter for weeks. No one has gotten sick, so we at least have one safe partially eaten jar in our refrigerator.

Shea says:
Fri, 30th Jan 20091:04 pm

Oooh no not the pb!

It's my favey =(

LaNae says:
Sun, 10th Jan 20102:20 pm

btw boo to you for strongly disliking osu! go bucks lol michigan sucks

Blakely, Georgia says:
Tue, 19th Jan 20102:27 pm

Eff you.

A) That was only one of the food process we have in our tiny little town.

B) It is not all we do, (Read as, stop hating the entire county)

C) the Company's headquarters are in Virginia (If you're going to Eff anyone Eff Peanut Corp.)

D) Do recall that the Texas factory was just as bad, IF NOT WORSE.

So I am sorry if you're precious peanut butter was recalled, but do not Eff an entire Town without properly doing your research. We are people too.