Octuplets Mom is a Publicity Whore

February 3, 2009     Posted in Buzz, HaHa

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By Lauren

Dear Nadya Suleman,

Ever since you gave birth to octuplets last week, the media just can’t stop talking about you. Which seems to suit you just fine; we heard that you’ve hired an agent to help you break into TV. Splendid!

t’s good to see a mother who just loves using her kids for cash flow her children.

You’ll definitely make tons of money from doing interviews, and you’ll even get to meet celebrities. Maybe you’ll even be on Oprah! Or even Maury Povich – he loves those “Who’s the Daddy?” shows!

I noticed you were hoping to land a job on some news show or another as an “on-camera childcare expert.” I’m thinking you are better suited to be a baby-making expert (14 kids under the age of 7…and you are only 33!), but that’s neither here nor there.

Soon, everyone in America will know your name. But listen, if you really wanted to be famous so badly, there’s ways to do so that are a lot easier than going through the pain of giving birth to 14 babies. For example, you could star on a reality show. There once was a time when an ugly blonde girl named Heidi Montag was just another ugly blonde girl trying to make it big in Hollywood. And look at her now, thanks to The Hills! That could be you, Nadya! You, too, could have an ugly D-bag boyfriend, fake everything, and lots and lots of Chanel bags.

Another great option for you, since you apparently like having a million things in your belly, is becoming a competitive eater on ESPN! I can only imagine shoving 98 hotdogs IN is a lot easier than pushing 14 babies OUT. And remember how everyone was obsessed with the guy who won the Nathan’s Hot Dog-Eating contest all those years in a row? That could be you!

Or maybe you could be the big winner on a game show like Jeopardy! or Deal or No Deal. I think that guy who made millions on Jeopardy! got a book deal and even a few TV and commercial appearances out of it.

If all those sound like too much work, you could just become an internet sensation. Post a YouTube video of yourself doing something stupid (or falling off of a table) and you could become an overnight star!

See?  There’s lots of ways you could be famous without having to push 14 babies out of your body… and then change all those diapers…and try to find a man willing to be a step-dad to 14 kids….and pay for their college tuition.

Maybe that’s something to think about if this whole TV childcare-expert thing doesn’t work out for you.

Just a thought.

Good luck with the kids (and congrats for beating Brad and Angie at their own game!),

Laura

12 Comments on "Octuplets Mom is a Publicity Whore"

  1. thestorysofar says:
    Tue, 3rd Feb 20098:19 am 

    Hey, you know whats expensive? 14 kids.

    Let her do what shes gonna do- publicity is paying their tuition. she doesnt need to find a man to do that for her.

  2. K says:
    Tue, 3rd Feb 20098:25 am 

    She could do what she's gotta do to provide for them, but I honestly don't think she will. According to her own mother, the exciting part for her is having the kids and then grandma is responsible for their well being. If you're really devoted to your children and there is someone in your life who can provide for them, than go ahead and have as many babies as you want (The Duggers are awesome and I adore Jon and Kate Plus 8) but I think its wrong to bring so many children into the world when you have no plan for providing for them.

  3. Jes says:
    Tue, 3rd Feb 20091:05 pm 

    I am SOOOO fed up with this lady.

    All 14 of her kids were artificially insemenated. How completely irresponsible!

    Fertility clinics should be subject to the same rules that adoption agencies are- you can only have enough kids that you can prove you have the financial means to take care of!!

    This lady is relying on the taxpayers of California to pay for her millions of dollars of childcare at hte hospital, and she's already made her parents declare bankruptcy for taking care of her first 6 children.

    How completely & utterly selfish and irresponible.

  4. D says:
    Tue, 3rd Feb 20094:53 pm 

    The state should draw the line somewhere. If you wanna have a bazillion and five kids? Great. No one should be able to stop you. that being said no one else is responsible for raising your damn kids.

    At some point the state should say "we will only provide X amount of support" and if she can't manage the state can take her kids and give them to responsible adults who actually want whats best for children.

  5. Jacks says:
    Wed, 4th Feb 20093:40 pm 

    Actually, I think people should be able to stop you if you are artificially inseminating 14 kids…the doctors who performed that procedure on a young, single woman who already had six children should have made her undergo a psychological evaluation before going through with it.

  6. pologrrl says:
    Fri, 6th Feb 20091:02 pm 

    There is no way in HELL this stupid BITCH will pay for her kids…she is an unemployed student, even a fricking doctor would struggle to support 14 kids!!!!!! What the heck is she going to be? She was seeing $$ $igns when she found out she was going to have all the babies'. She doesn't want gov't help, PLEASE, she wants to sound high and mighty by saying that and yet she has hired a publicist. I hope she doesn't get any help or fame. This is a worthless low life who is selfish. I can't believe there are people like her in this world. STUPID, DUMB, IDIOT!!!

  7. Utterly Disgusted says:
    Mon, 9th Feb 20093:02 pm 

    What a filthy, irresponsible, TV WHORE! Thanks to scumba*s like her, hard working families in California will not fork out about $2.5 million just to support this imbred, uneducated skank and her trash bag full of rats!

    I am sick and tired of people like her who just moooch of the society, and everyone else who works. I hope she gets some nasty skank-aids-otitis and croaks before that nasty thing breeds again!

  8. Utterly Disgusted says:
    Mon, 9th Feb 20093:03 pm 

    What a filthy, irresponsible, TV WHORE! Thanks to scumba*s like her, hard working families in California will now fork out about $2.5 million just to support this imbred, uneducated skank and her trash bag full of rats!

    I am sick and tired of people like her who just moooch of the society, and everyone else who works. I hope she gets some nasty skank-aids-otitis and croaks before that nasty thing breeds again!

  9. Utterly Disgusted says:
    Mon, 9th Feb 20093:09 pm 

    I hope and pray this worthless human being gets her kids taken away by the state, and her ass gets thrown in the slammer for 20-years to pay for this shit. I sure as fu*k don't feel like paying for those 14 rats who in a few short years will become nothing but a bunch of uneducated, unloved loosers and get into drugs and crime. Laugh at me now…I will laugh when they all show-up on some COPS TV show in ohh about 10-15 years. The media monkies love following looser stories like this. It is thanks to those same moron media shit-for-brains why bitches like her get knocked-up for 2-minutes of fame on TV. Its all because media thinks its cool! Fkn hollywood lowlifes!

  10. Lucy says:
    Mon, 9th Feb 20095:59 pm 

    P.S. She's living with her parents, who filed for bankruptcy and they're living in a three-bedroom house. Thank god she's such a camera whore that someone will shell out a couple million to support her!

    This is selfish of her. Besides the financial dilemma, how can she expect to give enough attention to each of these children? Plus, many of the octuplets are expected to have health problems since they all weigh under THREE POUNDS!

  11. Katie says:
    Tue, 10th Feb 200911:44 am 

    HAH. This makes me laugh.

    You know, I'm in need a couple million dollars – I mean, I have lots of student loans too, and I could use some extra cash to go shopping or something…

    Maybe I should think about my own stupid world record or something to get all the attention I need… Oh, I KNOW! How about having 14 babies in a span of a couple years when I have no money, no husband and live at home with my mother??? Dang it, someone already did that

  12. dick hurtz says:
    Thu, 12th Feb 20095:02 am 

    Check out this site. It has pic's of the inside of the house and her own mother saying she is useless.

    Food on the walls,this place is a food stamp dump.

    radaronline dot com

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