Awkward Moment: Buying a Pregnancy Test

February 5, 2009 Posted in Reality

For the past few weeks I have been freaking out about the fact that I might be pregnant. My period has always been irregular and I go months without it quite often, but for some reason I couldn’t shake the idea that I might soon be sharing my apartment with a 6th roommate….and binkies and bottles.

I knew deep down that there was no possible way there was a baby in by belly (I use multiple forms of birth control), but whenever I would feel a pain in my stomach, or have the urge to dip things in frosting, I let my paranoia get the best of me. I would go to CVS to buy a pregnancy test, but every time I walked into the store I would freak out at the prospect of a little blue plus sign showing up and walk out empty handed.

It just seemed easier not to know for sure and let the irrational thoughts pass.

Until I had yet another odd stomachache. Sure, it could have been caused by the large amount of candy I ate for dinner, but I finally mustered up the courage to find out the truth.

I waited until 10pm – I thought the store would be less crowded…and I wanted to watch my shows – and talked to myself the entire way there. “You can do this. You will be fine. You are not preggers. You just ate too much candy corn.” Nothing helped.

I picked up a Diet Coke and chugged it as I scoured the aisles for the pregnancy tests. The artificial sweetness calmed my frazzled nerves, and the 20 ounces of liquid prepared my bladder for the big task. I finally found them… right next to the “Female Cleansers.” I prayed not to run into anyone I knew; I didn’t want people to think I needed to buy douche!

But that was the least of my problems – pregnancy tests are expensive! I was left with a decision: buy the name brand for $15, or the CVS brand for $8. Was this the right time to be bargain hunting? At the same time, though, I’m a poor college student! I spent 15 minutes comparing the boxes, which is a long time when you have 20 ounces of Diet Coke in your bladder and a potential bun in the oven.

I ultimately went the cheap route (what can I say? I’m frugal), and took my purchase to the front counter. And this is when things got really awkward. There was quite a long line for 10:30 pm at CVS. Luckily, I didn’t see anyone I knew, but I did notice the strange look the CVS employee gave me as he rang me up. Well, attempted to ring me up. Turns out the box I chose was damaged and he had to call for a price check. Yes, a price check. On the loud speaker. So everyone in line could hear.

“Price check on the CVS home pregnancy test!” Everyone stared at me. A stock boy came quickly with a new, undamaged box, but it was too late; everyone already knew that I was damaged goods with a damaged box.

Hands shaking, I whipped a $20 out of my bag, threw it on the counter, and ran out of the store before I could even get my change. So much for the bargain. I saw a few friends walking in as I ran by and thanked god they hadn’t been there 1 minute earlier. When I finally made it home, I didn’t have the opportunity to second guess the test; I almost peed my pants. I opened the box, unwrapped the little stick and got a nice fat minus sign.

Clearly, it was a giant relief, although I am still plagued with the task of finding a new CVS to shop at…

1661422 Comments2009-02-05+21%3A39%3A18Noa+-+CU+Boulder on "Awkward Moment: Buying a Pregnancy Test"

Sarah says:
Thu, 5th Feb 200912:13 pm

i feel your pain.

except i made my ex go in walgreens and buy it

Sarah W says:
Thu, 5th Feb 200912:51 pm

i made my boyfriend drive me to a different town to go to walgreens. there was no way i was going to risk running into anyone i knew.

kiki says:
Thu, 5th Feb 200912:59 pm

The thought of buying a pregnancy test scares me more than the thought of actually being preggerz… i just bought one with my groceries so it was a little less akward… and thank god for self check out lines at Walmart!

Kathe says:
Thu, 5th Feb 20091:16 pm

For some reason I do not have a problem buying pregnancy tests. I get more embarrassed buying condoms.

Emily says:
Thu, 5th Feb 20091:20 pm

ok worst experience ever:

I actually was suffering from mono and didn't know it. Plus I was having stomach pains. So I went one morning to CVS and the woman goes, "you know, if this is a habit of yours, they sell these at the Dollar Store." I bought ONE test! In my whole life! It's like every young girl is possibly promiscuous enough to be dealing with this all the time…. wtf.

Kelly says:
Thu, 5th Feb 20092:17 pm

Oh I know that paranoia feeling! Yes thank god for self-check outs, but I left my five dollars in the car so I couldn't get whatever else I was buying at the time (to cover up with pregnancy test as I carried it around in those little baskets) and the guy had to come over and check all my stuff. Talk about embarassing! It's actually a really serious thing though, ya know? Like I felt like an adult. And I got the minus sign like you did. Most nerve racking moment of my life so far!

Emily says:
Thu, 5th Feb 20096:35 pm

I had a professor stand behind me in line…luckily he got pulled to a different line…and the nice old lady who rang me up didn't give me any looks…

Keightee says:
Fri, 6th Feb 20095:44 am

Oh yes, thinking you might be pregnant is the WORST feeling. The birth control I am on makes it so that I don't always get my period. The first time it happened I was a wreck. My boyfriend and I were grocery shopping and I went to buy a test – but standing there and looking at them was so embarrassing. I didn't even up buying one that day, but since I was so worried I ended up freaking-out my boyfriend who later went and bought me one.

But, he says buying tampons are out of the question. How does that make sense? Haha.

thomas says:
Fri, 6th Feb 20098:19 am

here is an idea…why not buy a box when you know you are not preggers and keep for the 'need to know times'. It isn't the first time and wont be the last.

J says:
Fri, 6th Feb 20099:09 am

I worked in a pharmacy all through highschool, and trust me, the clerks are making absolutely no judgement about what you are buying, and it is probably at least the 5th they have rung through that day. Also, at my pharmacy at least, we were told to be as discreet as possible when handling pregnancy tests, condoms, etc. Put them into a bag as fast as possible, and if there was any problem with the price or something, we would certainly never say out loud what it was. Also, we had to agree to NEVER disclose to anyone who bought pregnancy tests, condoms, etc. It's really no big deal.

Not that I've ever bought one myself though, I can see how you wouldn't want 15 of your friends roaming through.

Star says:
Fri, 6th Feb 20099:30 am

I hate the awkward pharmacy run! I've had to buy 3, even though I use protection, because I'm very paranoid. And the last time I went, the lady that works with my mom rang me up at the cash register! I'm driving out of town if this ever happens again…

Lucy says:
Fri, 6th Feb 20095:41 pm

I suggest the author grow the fuck up. She's an adult, buying a home pregnancy test is not traumatizing. I'm disgusted with this story, to be quite honest.

T says:
Fri, 6th Feb 20096:50 pm

Lucy, chill. She has the right to feel however she feels. Why do you care if she felt like it was "awkward" or not? You're obviously the last friend anyone would want to go to in this situation, being that you're so fucking judgmental. CHILL THE FUCK OUT!

Lucy says:
Sun, 8th Feb 20093:23 pm

Excuse you, T..but you're the one using capital letters which suggests that you're yelling.

I refuse to "chill" or apologize.

And hello, what do you mean, "What do I care..?" I have the right to comment on these stories, otherwise the website wouldn't give us the option.

Tina says:
Sun, 8th Feb 20094:49 pm

Lucy, stop being such a cunt.

Dan says:
Sun, 8th Feb 20095:03 pm

Is the baby mine?

Shea says:
Mon, 9th Feb 20091:45 pm

First off Lucy has obviously bought way too many tests to be embarrassed.

It is an awkward sitch my boyfriend and I bought one together and he acted like it was no big deal so i thought it was funny when my phone rang and i answered it so he had to do the entire transaction. & the old checker lady actually said good luck to him! haha

Lucy says:
Mon, 9th Feb 20093:26 pm

Tina, I'm always a cunt. It's part of my charm.

lala says:
Sun, 29th May 20119:09 pm

I just went through a similar situation. there's nothing like 2 preg tests, both with a minus, to relieve stress and excess paranoia!!

Tell us what you're thinking...