Overheard: “There’s a Snake in My Boot”

[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!

By John

Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]

A man and woman are speaking. The man gets down on one knee:

“I’m not your father,” he says.

“… so then Grandpa just started breaking all the furniture!”

“Yeah, this is why we can’t have a dog.”

“Going to Dunkin’ Donuts. You want anything?”

“Yeah, get me some Dunkaroos.”

“Dude? Really?”

Furious 12-year old girl: “Seriously, the reason critics didn’t like the Twilight movie was because it wasn’t true to the book!”

“Becky got Snorlaxed last night.”

“What?”

“Her roommate sat on her while she was sleeping.”

“Oh.”

“You flip omelettes so gracefully.”

“Shut up, you big vagina-nuts!”

“Hey, can you recycle Nerf darts?”

“I don’t know, just throw them in anyway.”

“All right, guys, I’m gonna have to come in there, you’re being way too loud… oh. Toy Story 2? Fine. Fine, you’re not in trouble.”

“Boxed wine tastes like boogers.”

“Hey, f**k you!”

“Can anybody explain the process of fermentation?”

“Asexual or sexual?”

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I thought you were my cat.”