A Cautionary Tale from a College Disaster: Love/Hate Relationships!

February 12, 2009 2:00 pm     Posted in Reality  Charlsie Niemiec g+ page

middlebury_college_campuslife_116-1604_img_large.jpgStudents spend so much time visiting colleges across the nation trying to find the place that best fits them. Even after the decision is made, the deposit is paid, and the room is festooned with posters after moving in at the beginning of freshman year, a mistake can still be made.


By Charlsie Niemiec

I made a mistake with where I chose to attend college. I take full accountability in admitting that I should not be where I am today, but here I am in my pink palace of a dorm room, hoping that some cosmic force stronger than my own folly has kept me here. Although my series usually focuses on the negative experiences at my university, in hopes to help others from making the same mistake as me (which actually doesn’t mean anyone should change their mind about coming to Hollins, it means anything that has happened to me here can happen at any college across the globe), I have decided in lieu of Valentine’s Day, I would share what I love about my college experience in the last two and a half years.

Academics: This is what college is all about, and in my opinion, it is learning what you want to learn (which is something I have experienced here more than not). When looking at other colleges across the nation to transfer to, I couldn’t find courses that enthralled me the way the course catalogue on my shelf does. Just like any college, I have taken a few dud classes (some have been general requirements, but that is expected), but for the most part, I have nothing to say besides exceptional reviews of all my classes. And what more can I ask for since I am here to get my degree? Anyone who is looking to transfer from their college seriously needs to consider the transition of academic life from school to school, because, at the end of the day, you are here (and you are paying mucho bucks!) to discover what is out there in the word of academia.

Friendship: During one of the first days of orientation I met my best friends. These girls are my family at a school that lacks the sisterhood it sells in glossy view books. Friendship is a huge aspect of college life, because I don’t think anyone could go through 4 years alone, especially at such a small college like Hollins. They are my partners in crime, my amusement on Friday nights, my choir when we are the only juniors singing in celebration to our senior class, but, most of all, they are my sisters. No one should ever stay strictly for the friends they have made, but in judging the friendships you have, it absolutely should be a factor. While I know I could make friends anywhere else, I could not call anyone else a sister (who I am not related to) the way I can with them.

Traditions: Hollins has outstanding traditions. What other college in the nation hikes up a mountain after the first frost of fall in October after eating Krispy Kreme donuts at 6am for Tinker Day? I don’t know of any other school, even those rich in tradition, that have the same spirit and zealous positivity behind them. I love to celebrate – anything and everything, whenever a celebration is called for – so being able to celebrate at Hollins really appealed to me. Although a lot of the traditions have been ruined for me (you will hear about that in a later article), I respect and honor all traditions through and through because of what they mean to the history of this school. Leaving, I would have had to learn new traditions and I wouldn’t have been there from the start to participate – and participation has helped me make them my own.

Opportunities: Every college has a lot to offer its students, some more than others. I think if you are willing to call yourself persistent and work hard to get what you want, anything you want can come your way. Through opportunities at Hollins, I was able to be the chair of the activity board’s General Speakers Bureau – an utterly life changing, invaluable experience. It allowed me to not only learn about event planning, but I was able to host some amazing modern day influences (especially transgendered author and playwright who moved the audience to tears, Kate Bornstein). While that is only one example of an opportunity I worked hard for and succeeded at, I have had many more. Despite all the hardships I have had on this campus, I have been able to make this campus my own.

And, of course, there are little things about this campus I love like the custodian, Vince, who knows my name, smiles, and always says hi – even though I have never personally met him. I love the History Department Party at the end of each semester that allows my friends and me to go crazy while dancing to old school rock. I love my peers who work so hard to do what means something to them, always changing and making a difference on campus and off. I love my professors that know me for who I am and have supported me through whatever I have needed. I love the way the trees bend, the loop winds along the rolling hills, and the grass grows so green. I love the way I imagine this place in the 60s, the 30s, and even the late 1800s. I really do love it, despite everything.

However, people ask me why I haven’t left, or why I am still here after two years of nonstop insanity and all I really have to say is that while I openly admit staying here is a mistake, being here – at this point in time – is the right thing for me. People have a love/hate relationship with everything from the red nail polish on their finger nails to their parents, and the relationship I have with Hollins is exactly that. The things that I love are something I will carry with me forever, while the things I hate are just obstacles in my everyday life, which have helped me become stronger as a student, a woman, and as an advocate for others and myself.

Now tell me, what makes you stay where you are. What makes you smile on your campus? Even if you hate your dorm room, your roommate, your classes, and the cold this winter – what on your campus makes you get out of bed every day? Is it your friends or the cafeteria food? Or is it the Professor who blesses you as class is letting out, or the spiral staircase in the main student building?

Tell me what you love about your college, no matter what your feelings about it are.

15 Comments on "A Cautionary Tale from a College Disaster: Love/Hate Relationships!"

  1. Ally says:
    Thu, 12th Feb 20099:46 am 

    Agnes Scott's black cat week is better than old, stinky tinker day.

  2. Ally says:
    Thu, 12th Feb 20099:47 am 

    P.S. these articles are so funny. i look forward to them every thursday! please keep writing for college candy!

  3. Matthew says:
    Thu, 12th Feb 20099:52 am 

    i love the feel of my campus on a cool spring day. good job showing that haters that you love your school and you are mostly just disappointed with how your experience has been with something you love. you really just want people to learn from your experiences to improve their college experience. good job!

  4. Shaye says:
    Thu, 12th Feb 200910:00 am 

    I love seeing people. I love the students who, like me, are so in love with the campus that just waiting for the bus to come is somewhat pleasant. I love the silly chatter that goes on between two strangers getting on that bus. And I love the professors who always keep their doors open — which is totally how their personalities are, open and inviting.

  5. Emily says:
    Thu, 12th Feb 200910:04 am 

    All throughout your series, I knew that there was something keeping you at Hollins, just like there are things that are keeping me at my school, even though I've had some similar experiences as yours. So to all the people who have been hating, sometimes things don't go like we would like them to. Sometimes schools mess up in a big way, but if someone stays after that mess up, it's obvious that something is keeping them there. So lighten up and let Charlsie write these articles, because they are bound to help someone!

  6. Fiona says:
    Thu, 12th Feb 20091:12 pm 

    girl, i love all the things you have mentioned. The friends and academics have got to be what makes me so happy at school. Even though times it can be tough and you feel like the world is coming at an end with the crazy things that happen, after wards, I only feel stronger and wiser. :)

    and, I've stayed here knowing senior year is going to be the BEST during all the traditions!!

    Love the column, and can't wait to read more!! MEMOREWMOREWWW!

  7. Abby says:
    Fri, 13th Feb 20096:30 am 

    I love the friendliness of the Spartans at my school. Everyone is outgoing and willing to chat. I also love the comaraderie at football games especially. You said to say some things you love about your school, these are mine! Go green, go white, go MSU!!

  8. Sam says:
    Fri, 13th Feb 20092:31 pm 

    Learn to write. Every article you put out is incredibly grammatically awkward, if not all out incorrect. You're gonna keep us from going to Hollins by displaying what you haven't learned.

    "in lieu of Valentine’s Day" ?? Get an editor.

  9. sam says:
    Fri, 13th Feb 20092:47 pm 

    Hollins is all woman's school, that's why i never even take a moment to think about going there.

    Would I even have slight bit of motivation to look good in the morning at all woman's school?

    probably not.

    But i do know, hollins is pretty good school for the academic part.

  10. sara says:
    Sat, 14th Feb 200911:00 am 

    Top things keeping me at my school would be:

    My sorority

    My internship

    My job

    My friends!

    :]

  11. Izzy says:
    Sun, 15th Feb 20096:56 pm 

    What I love

    friends

    big dorm room

    ice cream

    liberal artsy courses

    j-term

    I think that's it :/

  12. Sarah says:
    Sun, 15th Feb 200911:49 pm 

    Dear Sam/Grammar Nazi/I have no life/Grumpy,

    If you’re going to have the balls to write a crabby post about someone’s grammar and writing style, I would expect yours to be in top form. But alas, you’re a hypocrite.

    “Hollins is all woman’s school”

    —> Hollins is an all women’s college.

    I’m not saying my writing is tip top, but I don’t give rude critiques to others when they could be more easily be applied to myself.

    Dear Charlsie,

    I’m kind of glad that you have dedicated an article to the positives about Hollins. Not because I thought it was necessary, but it will get some people to shut up now. Your writing gives an honest view of Hollins. And if some people can’t handle that, oh well. Charlsie writes what Hollins, and any other college, deserves-the good, and bad.

    I think colleges shouldn’t pile on the bullshit when you’re a prospective. My vision of Hollins in high school while visiting and meeting students/faculty/administration is drastically different than how I see this place now. Hollins works their asses off for anyone who sets foot on campus who could put $$$ in the bank. Once you enroll, it starts to fade away.

    For example, the cafeteria pulls out the stops when prospectives arrive for food. But if it’s just plain ole’ Sunday for students, don’t expect to find much that’s appetizing. The whole campus is very misleading-not just their food quality. The place puts on a great show.

    I was told before enrolling there are plenty of opportunities to meet guys-hmmm.

    NOOOOOO.

    That’s a hundred times more true if you come here with no car. Don’t rely on making friends who have cars. They don’t probably don’t want to go where you want to. The only place I think you’ll ever meet a man is off campus. So if you can regularly escape, your chances are higher. But this place is absolutely dead on weekends, and I’m not exaggerating. A lot of students flee on Fridays, and I can hardly blame them. If I had a car, I would too. VTech and Roanoke College are the closest colleges to us, and I cannot name one student who has visited there for a weekend-ever. Hollins has graduate students, but they’re never seen on campus except in their classes. They don’t hang out around campus. So if you’re into older guys, and by chance one of them is in a class, maaaaybe you have a glimmer of hope. Chances are he’s uninterested, unattractive, and if he’s decent then you’ve got probably got competition.

    Guys don’t come here unless their faculty’s kids, grad students, or visiting their girlfriend.

    I wish someone told me before I enrolled, “If you’re looking for the genuine college experience-don’t come here.” I am not a partier by any means, but I’d like something to do on a Friday night besides sit at my computer, or take the shuttle to wal-mart. And I’d like a shuttle that’s reliable, so I don’t have to hitchhike home with a complete stranger.

    I stayed overnight in a Hollins student’s dorm as a prospective, and despite our vast differences (social skills/cliques, tastes movies/music/clothes) she was extremely welcoming. Actually, the bulk of the floor of her dorm popped in the room to greet me and shake my hand.

    As a Hollins freshman, I spent the majority of my first semester eating alone. And when I walked in the cafeteria, sometimes I got cold stares-from people I didn’t know!

    My best example of being misled applies specifically to my faculty, but unlike Charlsie, I don’t have the balls to name some names or give specific examples.

    With this economy, Hollins is greatly concerned about getting students to stay, and getting their tuition money. Retention rates are important to them. So they work their butts off making pretty photographs and cheery videos. As a prospective, I received postcards numerous times from Hollins students. They said something like “Hello, my name is blah blah, I am majoring in blah blah. I love Hollins! This place is beautiful. I hope you come and visit again soon! We look forward to hearing from you. You can email me at blahblah@hollins.edu.  ” I got like 4 of those my senior year. I didn’t think much of the crap, but my parents were impressed. Once I arrive as a freshman, I learn that those postcards were written by students for work study hours! They are instructed on what to write, copy it on postcards over and over until their hands are exhausted, and it goes towards their tuition.

    This place gives an excellent façade.

    I think that if prospective students got honest answers, they’d be more likely to go to the college that’s right for them. But giving their students a fulfilling college experience is not the number one priority at Hollins. Hollins wants as many to come as possible so they make money! But what they need to learn is that this greedy strategy backfires- students end up hating it because it’s not what they expected, and so they often leave. Or, it results in a student named Charlsie writes her experiences on the internet.

    Hollins needs to realize that it’s job is to satisfy the educational needs of the current student. It’s main job is not to recruit and put on a show full of dog crap. That just ends up with unhappy students, and an unhappy college.

  13. Kate Bornstein says:
    Tue, 17th Feb 20098:35 pm 

    Positives about Hollins… students and faculty who are exploring sexuality and gender far beyond the horizons present in most schools. That plus I love my Hollins Undefeated Football jersey. I wear it a LOT. One more positive: Charlsie, who's choosing to focus on the positives. Darned good idea. xox K

  14. Julia says:
    Wed, 18th Feb 20094:43 pm 

    Charlsie, you need to stop complaining. Even when you're noting that you're not complaining, you're still getting in sly remarks that tell people how you really feel. Your experience might not be the best, but part of growing up is facing that. Let it go now.

  15. Katy says:
    Tue, 20th Apr 201010:19 am 

    I think Charlsie has the right to complain–the system is very, very flawed, so transferring is often impossible and you're stuck with a school you don't love. Careful marketing lured you there, and you didn't see the strings until it was too late.

    I go to a small, liberal-arts school in rural North Carolina, and it is much the same phenomenon.

    Admissions wants you to believe that we are the next up-and-coming university, that your degree will mean more than it did the year you walked in because of all the expansion going on. But this is false. The classes are unfocused or not challenging enough, and the student body takes shallowness to dizzying new heights. I spent high school thinking about Proust and Tolstoy and now all I can think about is how I look and what I'm wearing because that's what you have to do to survive here. If I had known what I was signing up for, I would have ditched this for my state university in a heartbeat.

    But of course I was lured by the shiny scholarship they offered me and the opportunity to go, as Charlsie did, to a small private institution. Where, supposedly, you receive certain advantages.

    As a result, the only really intellectual education I've been exposed to is in high school and have to view these four years as a perfunctory and necessary torture to obtain the one thing society values without question: a degree.

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