![Channing Tatum’s 18 Hottest Moments [Photos]](http://s2.wp.com/imgpress?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcollegecandy.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F01%2Fchanning-tatum-lead11.jpg&resize=225,135 "Channing Tatum’s 18 Hottest Moments [Photos]")
Five Things You Never Want To Hear From Your (New) Lover
February 12, 2009 Posted in Relationships, Sex
Even though I vowed to keep my vajayjay away from my good friend / potential lover, the holidays and spending four weeks cooped in my parents’ house with my Mom blasting Fleetwood Mac at ungodly hours left me few options. So, when the boy called and asked if he could host my vacation to the city (Oh Columbus, how I love thee!), I accepted. I packed a pair of black high heels, a toothbrush and a bottle of red wine and I was ready for my own little holiday fling.
There were a few things, however, I forgot to consider. For one, I’ve known this guy, like, forever. I know every girl he’s ever dated (and all the not-so-awesome deets about each breakup), his favorite foods at each of our fave places to eat, hell – I even know the names of the majority of his extended family. This means that he, too, knows almost as much about me. Although this does mean we get to skip the whole awkward (but sometimes exciting) getting-to-know-you stage, and jump right into the much more exciting getting-to-know-your-favorite-sex-position stage, this breadth of knowledge about each other did create it’s own awkward situations.
Basically, the filter that you normally have with new lovers when you’re trying to both impress them and butter them up was completely removed.
So, with help from my good friend/holiday hookup and other boyfriends past, I present to you my list of the top five things you never want to hear from your (new) lover.
5. That girl is so sexy. Some of you might disagree with me on this. However, I am slightly neurotic and although I will totally smile and pretend that I, too, find whatever girl my man is ogling with his eyes a real bombshell as well, I don’t like to hear it. Think it, fine. Tell your boys, fine. But don’t. tell. me.
4. You should really wear your hair curly again. It’s so beautiful. When your hair is in fact, straightened for the first time in four weeks because you finally decided to dig your Chi out of all your unpacked, unorganized luggage. Is this supposed to be flattering? Couldn’t you have told me that you love my hair curly when it actually IS curly? There are also other variations of this too, like, “Maybe you should really dye your hair again. It was so pretty blonde,” or “How about you get that tattoo removed? Your lower back looked so sexy without it.”
3. You’re crazy. I’ve written about this before. And trust me, I really don’t care if it he means crazy-sexy in a Marla Singer sorta way. There is nothing at all flattering about being called crazy by someone you trust with your innermost thoughts, feelings and neuroses. Nothing.
2. You’re a much different body type than I’m usually attracted to. So, he either means that you are a lot larger than his normal type (which is obviously not fun to hear) or a lot smaller than his usual type (which – in my mind at least – is a huge RED FLAG because it seems that most guys do stick to their particular “type”). Above mentioned dude actually said to me last week and I really didn’t know how to respond. He said he was normally into girls who had those big, muscular, soccer player legs and that mine were small and uh, soft. Thanks?
1. You remind me so much of (insert any other woman’s name here). Whether it’s his mama, his ex flame, his sister, his old best friend, that girl from Psych 101, this never makes anyone feel good. It makes us feel paranoid that he will leave us for whatever person he is comparing us to (well, uh, unless it’s a relative – then it just makes us feel homely and naggy!). Why can’t guys just love us for the unique, special, beautiful, flowers we are and quit comparing us to every other Brittany, Tiffany & Jenna they know?
Honorable mentions: “You have on too much makeup” and “If you’re gonna wanna do that, you’re gonna have to shave.” Ouch.
Alright girls, it’s your turn! What’s the worst thing you’ve heard from a new (or old) lover?
[ photo from michaelhyatt.com ]
Tell us what you're thinking...
Lindsay Lohan's New Photo Shoot Is Full of Cleavage
Someone Tried to Extort The Duggars… So They'd Be Cancelled
So Snoop Dog Recorded a Rap About Porn
Lady Gaga Is Starting a Social Media Site for Her Fans
Kris Humphries Has Some Interesting Divorce Demands
Rebecca says:
Thu, 12th Feb 200912:15 pm
The one about the hair really gets me! My ex used to tell me stuff like "You should wear your hair down more often" when I had my hair up, or "Why are you wearing your glasses? I like you without them better." It made me feel like he cared more about my appearance than I do. I don't miss him.
Kath says:
Thu, 12th Feb 20091:40 pm
How about "are you going to eat all of this?? I don't want to f*ck a fat cow!" (actually we were in a happy relationship after that one). But still it's my favorite. I had with him also number 4,3 and 1. I also appreciated "I'm not sure we can be together cause I will never be faithful, I need to f*ck other girls to improve my social skills!"
Stephanie says:
Thu, 12th Feb 20091:58 pm
I hate any confession that comes after "I don't want to scare you or anything but…" or "Don't be freaked out or anything but…" Even if it's something like "I'm a lefty", I'm automatically freaked off and scared! Don't tell me not to be afraid because then I'll be afraid!
Lauren, University o says:
Thu, 12th Feb 20093:06 pm
I like when I lost my v-card and I told the guy up front and his response? "Don't get too attached."
What a gent.
Megan says:
Thu, 12th Feb 20093:58 pm
I LOVE the comment about the hair. Why do guys always do that? they never compliment you untill its gone…annoying. :-p This list is so great.
Star says:
Thu, 12th Feb 20094:45 pm
I'm glad I'm not the only one who hates getting called crazy! My ex used to say it after completely normal things I would say. It drove me insane (no pun intended). I'm glad to know someone else thinks it's disrespectful.
Liza - University of says:
Thu, 12th Feb 20095:34 pm
Love this Erica! Definitely agree with ALL of those.
Sam says:
Thu, 12th Feb 20095:34 pm
It may be just me, but I HATE being called cute. I'm not 9 years old. Please if you're going to compliment me, say I'm beautiful, sexy, or just pretty. Or don't even bother, I hate hate hate it.
Ash says:
Thu, 12th Feb 20098:23 pm
My ex used to call me "kiddo" – mind you, there was a seven year age gap, but still. Ugh, kiddo?
This is also the same ex that stopped mid sex to tell me he had slept with one of the girls we worked with and did eight lines of coke a few weeks prior… what a winner, right?
Ugh, glad to be rid of him.
chelle says:
Thu, 12th Feb 20099:22 pm
i def hate the 'you're crazy' one haaaate it. they don't understand how horrible that is to say to someone
Sarah says:
Fri, 13th Feb 20097:49 am
#2 is DEFINITELY the worst. The last two guys I slept with had previous girlfriends that were MUCH smaller and more petite than I, and if one of them had ever uttered such words, it would've been over.
Guys are retarded if they think they can compare us to other women they know, all willy-knilly like. Especially when it has to do with our physical appearance. Like, come on; unless you're telling me I'm the most gorgeous girl you've ever met, I don't want to fucking hear it.
Amanda says:
Fri, 13th Feb 20098:41 am
I started dating a guy who was six years older and thought he just knew everything. Every time I needed to talk I heard, "I know exactly what you're going through, I've been there before" and proceeded to tell me why everything I was going through wasn't nearly as stressful as his high paying career and new house. Gee thanks, enjoy that new house with someone else.
LCallahan says:
Fri, 13th Feb 20098:48 am
#5 – i can appriciate the softness and beautiful curves of a woman as much as the next guy… but the following sentence better be "but your much much better"
Meg says:
Fri, 13th Feb 20096:11 pm
Rebecca, I've had both those things said to me! uuugghhh, its like the most backhanded "compliment" ever when I hear my hair is "much prettier" curly after I took the time to straighten it. gimme a break.
Bobbi says:
Fri, 13th Feb 20099:14 pm
About my husband and would like to talk very personal on this matter. How would I go about it ?
Bobbi says:
Fri, 13th Feb 20099:15 pm
about my husband and a very personal matter with our sex life…it is his problem though…not mine. How do I talk to you about this privately?
sara says:
Sat, 14th Feb 200910:47 am
Omg that dating the older guy issue happened to me too. Every problem I had he already had an answer of how I should handle it based on his experiences. No thank you I can make my own decisions.
Also, while I enjoyed being called beautiful, and major props to the guy because its sweet to say, and it is nice to hear, I don't want it to be said to me every day. Especially if I'm dressed up to go out for drinks I want to be told that I look HOT or SEXY every once in a while too. And yeah, cute is starting to not work for me either anymore. I feel like I'm 10 when someone says that.
Meag says:
Sat, 14th Feb 20093:52 pm
I really do like this list!! and I completely agree with sam.. I actually get called "cute" a lot..friggin annoying! I may be 5ft tall but Im 20.. not 5.
Hot Girls says:
Sun, 15th Feb 20095:20 pm
Go to http://www.myspacemobi.com
orlando advertising, orlando website, orlando websites, orlando marketing, orlando first page of search engines, orlando business, orlando money
Disturbed says:
Wed, 18th Feb 20097:27 am
i'm sorry fellow ladies, but i must stop this madness..it sounds like from most of these responses you're either:
a)hooking up with guys cause they're hot and muscular, not because of their personality
b)because you just go for looks, you don't care about personality initially, and then you find out he only cares about himself and will cheat on you in a heartbeat
c)if you go for older men, they do know more than you, that's why they're getting sex from you
and i like how sarah commented on #2 about the whole body type issue and said that men were retarded if they thought they could compare them to over women..NEWS FLASH, everyone compares their present to their previous, regardless of sex..and women ESPECIALLY point out guys all the time saying wow i wish my boyfriend looked like that, or dame he has a hot ass.
Basically i'm trying to tell everyone to quit bitching and remember- it's your own fault when you end up with a dumbass boyfriend, YOU PICKED HIM!
Erica - Kent State says:
Wed, 18th Feb 200911:34 am
I have to respond to this because it was my story to begin with. It's crazy how absolutely, ridiculously wrong you are, Disturbed. I have never found ANY of my boyfriends attractive from the get-go. It's always after months or years of friendships that things develop. It's so weird that you say you hear girls talking about guys asses, etc. all the time, because most girls I know don't even find many aspects of the male body that attractive. I really do think that men do not give women enough credit — WE are the ones who really take personality into consideration. How often do you see hot girl/not-so-hot guy combo? A LOT. Enough said.
Disturbed says:
Fri, 20th Feb 20099:55 am
Erica:
I'm not discrediting your article and what you experienced, more so I was tired of all the comments people had posted before. I love your comment about not finding your boyfriends attractive initially, that lets everyone here know that you develop friendship/a relationship based on their personality, not their looks. Again, i'm not discrediting your article, I congratulate you on this publishment, and not to be throwing out any hatred, but I'm shocked to here you say you often see a "hot girl/not-so-hot guy combo" because honestly that's is something I hardly see. Maybe it's not so popular over here
amanda says:
Fri, 20th Feb 200911:14 am
haha, that's hilarious, my bf said almost exactly the same curly-hair comment a couple days ago…grrrrr!