Relationship Baggage is Not an Excuse!

February 12, 2009     Posted in Reality

john-mayer.jpg


By Noa

In this week’s In Touch magazine, a “friend” of John Mayer explains that the reason he is often so distant and, well, douchey, with his girlfriends is because he had his heart stomped on at 16. He was madly in love, something went wrong, and he promised never to have his heart broken again.

Awwww.

I bet that made you melt, right? I mean, it’s adorable and endearing that heartthrob John Mayer had his widdle heart bwoken! And it finally explains everything from Jessica Simpson to Jennifer Aniston and all those girls in between! It all makes sense. You are totes on Team Mayer now, aren’t ya?

Well not me.

I don’t know about any of you, but I for one am getting sick and tired of forgiving guys’ sins because of their baggage. I understand having a broken heart – because who hasn’t had one of those – but there is a big difference between proceeding with caution after a breakup and trading in heartache for a free pass in all future relationships.

It is so easy to act like a jerk and blame it on a crazy ex, a horrible breakup, or a long and tumultuous dating history, but how is that fair to anyone? And how can we, as women, allow ourselves to constantly forgive someone for treating us poorly?

There are plenty of people out there who have their share of relationship baggage, so it is a bullsh*t excuse for being a bad significant other to the next person who comes into your life. If you have your issues, deal with them, but do not drag some innocent person into your world and continually apologize because, “I was hurt before.”

It’s crap and I’m sick of it.

Deal with your issues, people. It’s not our fault that hussy broke your heart in middle school, so get over it. Need some help? I hear John Mayer’s got some perfect jams to cry to.

13 Comments on "Relationship Baggage is Not an Excuse!"

  1. Elise says:
    Thu, 12th Feb 200910:27 am 

    THIS.

    I know some people that are about to get linked.

  2. Sarah says:
    Thu, 12th Feb 200911:15 am 

    AMEN, SISTER.

  3. maddie says:
    Thu, 12th Feb 200911:51 am 

    i agree. get a damn therapist and work out your issues before starting up relationships again and treating people like shit.

  4. maddie says:
    Thu, 12th Feb 200911:53 am 

    and by the way, i feel like john mayer gets creepier looking every year

  5. Emily says:
    Thu, 12th Feb 200912:31 pm 

    I'm sure if it was woman saying this, you'd be like "I agree! Boys suck!"

    Well, John has the right to say this.

    Also, I'm pretty sure every girl he has broken up has moved on fine.

    As far as his looks go, they are getting better and better.

  6. jodi says:
    Thu, 12th Feb 200912:37 pm 

    Totally possible to move on. My current bf's ex was CRAZY (I know, I know, I shouldn't call my fellow women crazy, but she just defines it. She was above and beyond reason), and it totally caused him to be cautious at first (especially considering that she was his only other serious gf) but he was upfront with me about it once I asked, and (drumroll please) got over it when I proved I was trustworthy. How bout a big cheer for being a reasonable human being!

  7. Jacks says:
    Thu, 12th Feb 20094:14 pm 

    His heart was stomped on when he was 16..and he is how old now?? Give me a break.

  8. sara says:
    Sat, 14th Feb 200910:51 am 

    Yeah I got so sick of hearing about my ex's "trust issues" and having that as his excuse for not getting too emotionally attached, after we'd dated 6 months.

  9. samantha says:
    Sat, 14th Feb 200910:37 pm 

    I completely disagree with this. I mean I feel bad for the innocent people that get sucked into the situation because of a person's past and the trust issues that come from it, but I've been hurt really bad before by an ex and it's not easy at all trusting people now, years later. How can you act like it's so easy to get over it or that you would be able to, if you've never been through exactly what the other person has?

  10. Fl girl says:
    Wed, 18th Feb 20091:18 pm 

    Thank you for SOMEONE finally saying this!!!! Anyone of ANY gender using the I have been hurt excuse for their bad behavior SHOULD NOT BE DATING AT ALL. I have been hurt many times and once just horribly however if we all treat each other like crap because of that what is going to happen??? UGH

    I hear more men using the im scared excuse and it makes me want to slap them. If you are scared and hurt I am sorry, take your pieces to your therapist instead of handing the pieces out to the rest of us!!

    I heard in a movie once….stay away from broken people. So true!!!

  11. Rebekah says:
    Sun, 22nd Feb 20098:23 am 

    RIGHT ON SISTER.

  12. Julene says:
    Mon, 23rd Feb 20094:25 pm 

    I love John Mayer–he's got the distant dude thing down pat. Actually, that might be *why* I like him.

  13. Riana says:
    Mon, 23rd Feb 20097:36 pm 

    Amen indeed sister.

    I have to agree.

    We've all been broken and hurt and I can attest to that Samantha in the biggest ways.

    But if we all just accept that and hurt one another does that produce more hurt people or reduce it?

    Like so many have said before, get counsling, talk it out, just don't punish the innocent.

    Once you do get through it you'll have the MOST beautiful meaningul relationships.

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