Overheard: Stimulate This!

[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!

By John

Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]

“This isn’t science! This is just a worm with a staple in it!”

“No, no. I don’t think I’d want to sleep with any of those directors. They all look like this one guy I worked with once.”

“Rachel – when I saw you out there, I could see why Dave likes you. No, wait – you’re Allison, Rachel’s the girl I’m dating.”

“Jesus christ! I was a turtle in high school!”

“A turtle is like a c**t.”

“All-male Vagina Monologues.”

“Vagina Monologues in funny voices!”

“Munchkin Vagina Monologues!”

Girl (into her cell phone): “I know, I totally thought the cab would be free if we made out in the back.”

“I’m… I’m sorry. Everything’s gone so wrong, I never meant for this to happen – we drank all the beers.”

“… I mean, I don’t get turned on by watching animals do it!”

“Okay! Throw a penny in the sausage fountain and make a wish!”

“I wish this fountain were full of water instead of sausages.”

“I bet Obama and Michelle totally did it after the stimulus vote.”

“Yeah, he was probably all, ‘stimulate this!’”

Girl: “Hey! Have you checked your horoscope today?”

Guy: “Damnit, are you talking about sports again?”