Get Your Own Piece of Neverland Ranch!

Remember Michael Jackson? Yeah, the guy behind Thriller, the Free Willy Song and all those weird molestation charges. What ever happened to him?

He went broke, that’s what. And now the bank will be auctioning off over 2,000 of his belongings at his famous estate, Neverland Ranch. Auction items range from his jeweled white glove to the elaborate front gates of the ranch. Since his little amusement park of a house went into foreclosure, the entire property will be auctioned as well as all of Jackson’s belongings inside the house.

This is great news for everyone who has every wanted a piece of super creepy pop culture history! Just imagine what is hidden behind those gates. (Editor’s Note: Besides all the young children.) Here’s a list of things we think will be a part of the MJ auction.

1.)   An Adult Sized Rocking Horse:  It’s like the little one you used to play on as a kid, only with chains and whips and handcuffs attached. You know M.J. had a things for all thing childlike…with an adult twist. But that’s not all! We are pretty sure this lovely rocking horse will come with Michael’s  “toy” chest, too. What a steal!

2.)   His Nose:  His REAL nose. The one that wasn’t triangular…or white. This purchase will come in its very own airtight carrying case, as any exposure to the elements will cause this fragile antique to disintegrate.

3.)   The Infamous Facemask: Why did he wear that thing in the first place? Rumor was he used it to protect himself from other people’s germs, but I don’t know about that. I think it had more to do with covering up his drooling mouth in the presense of little children. Or just trying to be even creepier.

4.)   An Extravagant Collection of Juvenile Artwork: By this I mean both work done by and of juveniles. Red choo choo train? Check. Elaborate painting of MJ and the lost boys on a bear skin rug by the fire? Check!

5.)   Bubbles the Monkey: Michael really loved Bubbles and I don’t blame him; that chimp was adorable! I’m sure Michael was heartbroken when the little guy went to monkey heaven and I’m pretty confident Bubbles is stuffed and sitting in MJ’s bed right about now, spooning him as he says goodbye to all his favorite things.

And I can have him for my very own!

We’ll start the bidding at $100.