Men are Jerks – Scientifically Proven!

A new scientific study has been published that can’t be ignored. Basically all of our suspicions about men have been scientifically proven. I won’t even have to be witty or clever about it, I will just simply quote the article.

“Researchers used brain scans to show that when straight men looked at pictures of women in bikinis, areas of the brain that normally light up in anticipation of using tools, like spanners and screwdrivers, were activated.”

Ah! According to Men’s brains, woman = screwdriver. They think of us on the same level as a hammer or a wrench. Great, right? But wait; it get’s so much better!

“Scans of some of the men found that a part of the brain associated with empathy for other peoples’ emotions and wishes shut down after looking at the pictures.”

So here’s how it works: Man sees woman in bikini. Man thinks “Mmmm….tooools.” The human part of Man’s brain literally shuts off. Yay!

Thus women understand 85% of their interactions with heterosexual males. But wait…it actually gets EVEN BETTER.

“In the study, Fiske’s team put straight men into an MRI brain scanner and showed them images of either clothed men and women, or more scantily clad men and women. When they took a memory test afterwards, the men best remembered images of bikini-clad women whose heads had been digitally removed.”

Now women, we have a new strategy. How many times have you thought, “why didn’t he call?” The answer is he can’t remember you because you have a face. If you want a guy to call you, you simply have to follow 2 easy steps.

1. Wear a bikini

2. Wear a ski mask

3. (Optional) Carry a power drill and/or tool belt

Now if you follow these steps you are on your way to snagging a man. Just remember once you have him, try not to have feelings or desires….or a face. This will only confuse him.