Men are Jerks – Scientifically Proven!

February 17, 2009     Posted in Reality

469526409_1066a4ae03_o.jpgA new scientific study has been published that can’t be ignored. Basically all of our suspicions about men have been scientifically proven. I won’t even have to be witty or clever about it, I will just simply quote the article.

33

By Liza

“Researchers used brain scans to show that when straight men looked at pictures of women in bikinis, areas of the brain that normally light up in anticipation of using tools, like spanners and screwdrivers, were activated.”

Ah! According to Men’s brains, woman = screwdriver. They think of us on the same level as a hammer or a wrench. Great, right? But wait; it get’s so much better!

“Scans of some of the men found that a part of the brain associated with empathy for other peoples’ emotions and wishes shut down after looking at the pictures.”

So here’s how it works: Man sees woman in bikini. Man thinks “Mmmm….tooools.” The human part of Man’s brain literally shuts off. Yay!

Thus women understand 85% of their interactions with heterosexual males. But wait…it actually gets EVEN BETTER.

“In the study, Fiske’s team put straight men into an MRI brain scanner and showed them images of either clothed men and women, or more scantily clad men and women. When they took a memory test afterwards, the men best remembered images of bikini-clad women whose heads had been digitally removed.”

Now women, we have a new strategy. How many times have you thought, “why didn’t he call?” The answer is he can’t remember you because you have a face. If you want a guy to call you, you simply have to follow 2 easy steps.

1. Wear a bikini

2. Wear a ski mask

3. (Optional) Carry a power drill and/or tool belt

Now if you follow these steps you are on your way to snagging a man. Just remember once you have him, try not to have feelings or desires….or a face. This will only confuse him.

33 Comments on "Men are Jerks – Scientifically Proven!"

  1. The Fashionable Hous says:
    Tue, 17th Feb 20098:42 am 

    OMG that is hilarious!

  2. Cali says:
    Tue, 17th Feb 200911:10 am 

    Is there a link to this study it's pretty awesome lol

  3. Sarah says:
    Tue, 17th Feb 20092:31 pm 

    I'd like a link too – also, I wonder what would happen if they did a study like this on women :)

  4. Lucy says:
    Tue, 17th Feb 20098:11 pm 

    Hahahahahah! Yet another reason to hate men!

  5. Kelsy says:
    Tue, 17th Feb 200911:23 pm 

    I think we need a new public holiday. Women-in-bikinis,-ski-masks-and-carrying-power-tools Day.

  6. Heather says:
    Wed, 18th Feb 20095:46 am 

    HAHAHA that just made me laugh to the point of tears… I wonder how true it is..

  7. Liza - Grove City Co says:
    Wed, 18th Feb 20098:47 am 

    The original article is here –

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2009/feb/16/sex….

    Glad you guys thought it was as funny as I did!

  8. Liza - Grove City Co says:
    Wed, 18th Feb 20098:48 am 

    wait I think that link is broken try this http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2009/feb/16/sex…

  9. Denver Steve says:
    Wed, 18th Feb 20093:29 pm 

    I like Kelsy's idea as it'll be the man alternative to Valentines Day.

  10. brooklynbabe347 says:
    Wed, 18th Feb 20099:20 pm 

    "I think we need a new public holiday. Women-in-bikinis,-ski-masks-and-carrying-power-tools Day."

    I agree with Kelsy! :D

  11. Patty says:
    Fri, 21st Aug 20098:36 am 

    True story!!!!!!

  12. private..lol says:
    Fri, 25th Sep 20096:56 pm 

    I think we need to have a month holiday called dont give men sex month.. Too many of us fall into their lies and have sex with them and make it tooo easy for them to never have to have any thought about how we feel when they are out chasing the next conquest..I dont believe anything a man says anymore..Most of them lie their butts off just to get sex then they either move on or come back to lie again and get more..Or worse, live with you or marry you and look at other women behind your back or cheat if they can get away with it..We as women are part of the problem for making it so easy for them..I think our grandmas had it easier than we do because grandma probably made the guy respect her and wait for it and prove his love first.

  13. fucker says:
    Thu, 21st Jan 201010:25 pm 

    yeah, we like Women in bikinis carrying power tools

    wooow

  14. Mason says:
    Sat, 6th Feb 20109:54 am 

    This is such a great post, thanks for the great info. and I am so excited to read more

  15. jeffery says:
    Tue, 9th Feb 201011:31 am 

    Thanks for the helpful info. I really enjoy reading posts on here.

  16. Max says:
    Tue, 2nd Mar 201011:24 am 

    I am very grateful that I have discovered your posts, thanks for all the helpful info.

  17. Bradley says:
    Sat, 27th Mar 201010:41 am 

    This is such a helpful post, thanks for the great info. and I am so excited to read more

  18. ActionJackson says:
    Mon, 24th Jan 20111:36 am 

    B.S that happens only in the USA where everybody Is so Superficial! :p

  19. LINA says:
    Mon, 21st Mar 20117:50 am 

    HA HA HA HA THATS CRAZY ,,BUT I THINK ITS TRUE

  20. lina says:
    Mon, 21st Mar 20117:57 am 

    So if we want the man feelings area not 2 b shut down then we have 2 cover up all and show the face only and hide all tools and hammers

  21. B. McCann says:
    Sat, 30th Apr 20111:16 pm 

    This statement is false.

    There. If you don't believe anything a man says anymore, then you don't believe me when I say that, but if you don't believe me when I say that what I said isn't true, then you do believe me, because you agree with me that I'm lying.

    Try to wrap your head around that one.

  22. B. McCann says:
    Sat, 30th Apr 20111:20 pm 

    This is not a reason to hate men. This is a reason to hate the men whose brains conform to the structural standards of the brains of the men who were studied. The set of such men is not equal to the set of all men, even if it may be equal to some given set of most men.

  23. B. McCann says:
    Sat, 30th Apr 20111:24 pm 

    Suppose you were a lesbian and a black woman were to cheat on you. Would you find the same degree of hilarity upon discovering an online article that stated that it had been scientifically proven that black people can't remember people who have faces because they're too horny? If you wouldn't, then you're being unfair. If you would, then you're being fair, but you're also being a bigot.

  24. B. McCann says:
    Sat, 30th Apr 20111:30 pm 

    Only if the man is actually checking you out. If he isn't, there's no reason to make yourself uncomfortable. This study proved that when a man is checking a woman out, he loses his capacity for empathy, but it did nothing to prove that when a man is capable of checking a woman out, he always checks a woman out. In fact, I have personally disproved this hypothesis; I was already well aware that sexual arousal decreases capacity for empathy, and because my capacity for empathy is already impaired due to the fact that many of my mirror neurons are Neanderthal mirror neurons rather than human mirror neurons, whenever I see a woman I'm capable of checking out, I tend to keep my eyes focused on her face to preserve what little capacity to empathize with human beings I innately possess.

  25. B. McCann says:
    Sat, 30th Apr 20111:34 pm 

    Do you now?

    … I'm beginning to believe that perhaps the conclusions of this study pertain to most human men or even all human men rather than simply the few who were observed. However, I cannot believe that they pertain to me because I know otherwise. All human men may be the same for all I know; all I know is that I'm different, and if I'm not innately different, then I will *make* myself different, even if that means brain surgery, and if being different makes me no longer a man, if being different makes me something other han a human being, then so be it. I refuse to tolerate this prejudice, even if it is correct.

  26. Anon says:
    Sat, 25th Jun 20112:42 pm 

    This article & blogger seems to be a very ignorant dumbass.
    You realize the brain does NOT have a seperate part for every single function it does… its nearly fking smaller than 2 fists but it basically processes infinite data, no surprise that it uses the same part to do more than 1 thing.
    Stupid whores.

  27. guest says:
    Fri, 29th Jul 20119:16 pm 

    Look at what Anon wrote…he is proving the point of the study! Ladies, he said that we are "Stupid Whores". He thinks we are stupid, also.

  28. B. McCann says:
    Wed, 17th Aug 201112:10 am 

    To guest:

    You state that Anon proves that men are jerks. Ther is no concrete evidence to suggest that Anon is a man. Furthermore, Anon sisn’t call anyone a stupid whore. All Anon said was “stupid whores.” That is an incomplete sentence and therefore possesses no valid meaning.

  29. Charles says:
    Sat, 3rd Sep 20112:19 am 

    Men do NOT see women as fucking TOOLS you stupid, partial, sexist, skanky SHlT. ALL OF YOU ARE SCUM. This is a prime example of the ugliest product the minerals of this planet have to offer. If you BELEIVE in this you ARE a tool and SHOULD BE USED AS A TOOL, because thats all you have to offer to humanity. And YES there is a difference between men and women! YES, you know what it is?? Men who go through the same SHlT as YOU, won't go on the internet and WHINE and PLEAD FOR ATTENTION. If you had the slightest shread of intellect, you would see that you are wrong. And when you someday look back at yourself, I hope you can scrape together enough human decency to hate yourself.

  30. alex says:
    Fri, 16th Sep 20119:59 pm 

    Is this a joke? there is no way society is this ignorant and disrespectful towards men

  31. B. McCann says:
    Wed, 21st Sep 20111:34 am 

    "ALL OF YOU ARE SCUM."

    "And YES there is a difference between men and women! YES, you know what it is?? Men who go through the same SHlT as YOU, won't go on the internet and WHINE and PLEAD FOR ATTENTION."

    Charles, you disgust me. You almost disgust me as much as the one who wrote this article. Do you know why? Because in your attempt to make your argument against sexism against men more offensive and powerful to its target, you go too far and produce sexism against women. It's misogynistic to imply that despite the fact that women and men go through the same things, men suck it up while women go online and whine about it. Also, it's not true. These particular women fit that statement, but women in general do not. It's also misogynistic to say that all women are scum.

    Now, at first philosophical glance, it may seem reasonably justified to respond to misandry with misogyny; one may look at this situation as a battle of the sexes, as a situation in which women are insulting men, and men must therefore insult women to produce an appropriate response. This view of the matter is sexist in both directions; women in general have not insulted men, only specific women, and you, a man, as the responding party, are not "men;" you are a man; as such, the specific women, who are not "women" in general, have not insulted you specifically, but rather "men" in general. While this situation may seem to be a battle of the sexes, it is in fact a battle of several individual people *over* the sexes. Therefore, properties of those individuals may not be assumed as properties of the pertinent collectives to which they belong. Men in general are not to be blamed for being jerks, but rather several specific men; likewise, women in general are not to be blamed for so presumptuously and all-too-eagerly making this mistake, but rather several specific women. For instance, suppose there exists a woman who does not believe that men are jerks and/or who does not whine about it on the internet. If that were the case, then your insults geared toward the general universal of a woman would be highly offensive and unwarranted to this particular woman. That is almost certainly the case, and by generalizing about women, you are unwarrantedly slandering every woman who does not fit that generalization. Likewise, every man who is not a jerk is unwarrantedly slandered by this article. Two wrongs don't make a right; they just make a bigger wrong. Charles, Liza, you two make me sick.

  32. B. McCann says:
    Wed, 21st Sep 20111:39 am 

    You state that Anon proves that men are jerks. There is no concrete evidence to suggest that Anon is a man. Furthermore, Anon didn't call anyone a stupid whore. All Anon said was "stupid whores." That is an incomplete sentence and therefore possesses no valid meaning.

    More importantly, even if Anon is a man who is a jerk, he does not prove that men are jerks; the only thing he proves is that a man is a jerk (specifically him).

  33. kaite says:
    Thu, 6th Oct 20111:08 am 

    Man are all jerks? I agree! All man i have meet in my life, they all are jerks :(

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