You Go (Standing Up), Girl!

You know what I’ve always wanted to do? Pee standing up.

Seriously. Growing up with two brothers, I was always jealous of how quickly and easily they could rid themselves of their Yoo-Hoo juice boxes. I tried it a few times (I can’t believe I’m admitting this), but it was far from a success. Unless you consider washing the bathmat and changing my pants a success.

My desire for the speediness peeing standing up allowed only intensified with each passing bathroom line at a party. I attempted to use the men’s room many times – because there is never a line there – but the weird looks and disgusting floors became just too much for me. So I stopped. And I waited in line like a lady while my fellow squatters took their sweet ass time.

It is infuriating, boring and a total buzz kill. But it looks like it may be a problem no longer. Ladies, we can finally pee like the boys do.

Sarah Dillon, who is now officially my hero, created a product that allows women to go #1 without wasting all that time sittin’ down. It was originally created to help older women who were unable to sit due to knee or hip surgery, but she realized that younger and agile women could benefit from it too.

Now, instead of wasting all that time pulling down those tight jeans (or worse, tights), covering the seat in TP, sittin’ down and doing your thing, then squeezing back into your pants, you can simply whip this thing out and pee on your feet. Well, not literally on your feet, but you know what I’m saying.

The Go-Girl is cheap ($4.99), sterile, compact (fits in your purse!), and can be reused…if you really want to. Oh, and it’s pink. Tres chic!

The bathroom was the final frontier for bridging the gender gap and it we are finally there. And just in time, too. My birthday party is coming up and I do not want to waste any time at the bar standing in line.