Jennifer Aniston is reportedly bringing her boyfriend, John Mayer, as her date to the Academy Awards this Sunday, which has everybody talking about what’s going to happen when/if they run into Brangelina on the red carpet. It’s the first time Jen, Brad, and Angelina have been in the same room together since Jen & Brad’s divorce, so will it be totally awkward? Will Jen and Angelina get into a hair-pulling-roll-on-the-carpet catfight? Or will they totally ignore each other?
We’ll have to wait till Sunday to see what happens, but this whole possible situation got me thinking how any of us could have (or already have) that inevitable run-in with an ex and his new love, and what we should and shouldn’t do when we find ourselves in the same situation:
DON’T run in the opposite direction – Chances are if you saw him, he saw you too. Running away looks pathetic, awkward and could result in injury. Trust me on this one. The stress of the sitch may cause blindness and that poor freshman walking behind you falls to the ground a lot faster and harder than you’d think.
DO look good – What better way to make the guy feel like the a-hole he is than by reminding him what he’s missing out on? Of course, there’s always the chance that you’re going to run into him when you’re least expecting it, like at Starbucks first thing in the morning before you’ve had a chance to shower and you’re still wearing sweatpants and last night’s makeup. In that case, just be extra charming and act like nothing is bothering you at all, making him wonder why he let you go in the first place and his new girl wonder why she isn’t as laid back and cool as you are. (Also, hold onto that coffee really tight; your nerves could get the best of you and dumping a scalding hot Mocha on the new girl could not only be seen as a little insensitive, but is also a waste of some damn good coffee.)
DON’T punch her in the face – Or call her names to her face, either. You’ll just look like a bitter jerk, so be the bigger person and kill ’em with kindness. Then talk about what a bitch she is to your friends when you get home.
DO keep things brief – Make that man think you have better places to be and better things to be doing with your time than spending it talking with him. This also protects yourself from saying something stupid. Something like, I don’t know, “Yeah, things are good. Had some great sex last night. Not as good as with you, but he tried…” Not that I know anything about that…
DON’T be too flirty with him – Instead of making him miss you, you’ll probably end up just looking desperate. And you don’t want him back, anyway! Greener pastures, my friend. Greener pastures.
Any other advice/horror stories?