GWWE: Hugh “Hump Me” Jackman
There’s no one I want to eff more than a man with an accent, and who better to eff than People’s Sexiest Man Alive? Why is Hugh Jackman the sexiest man alive you ask? Um, where should I start… How about his abs? His chest? His scruff? His Biceps.? Oh god, his biceps…
But I digress, of course Hugh is easy on the eyes (and everywhere else) but I’m not completely superficial and shallow. Hugh is the full package, my friends: he sings, dances, acts, and makes me sweat a little every time I see his beautiful effing body.
He offers an array of sexiness on and off screen. Looking for bad-ass sexy? Check out Wolverine in X-men and tell me if mutten chops and a wife beater have ever looked as sexy. Answer: no. Mutants aren’t your thing? That’s okay, because Hugh has you covered. He is so effing sexy in everything he does. Whether you like your man a little rugged (see Australia), or sweet and romantic (via Kate and Leopold), Hugh will bring it. Seriously, who doesn’t like variety?
Lucky for me, Hugh “the Hottie” Jackman will be hosting this Sunday’s 81st Annual Academy Awards, and you are crazy if you think I won’t be tuning in for ever single second of Hugh magic. Of course this isn’t his first hosting gig, as he’s graced us at the Tony’s numerous times, singing and dancing his way into my heart, making me giggle with his undeniable wit and charm.
The only thing standing in the way of me effing the man of my dreams is his annoyingly adorable desire to be a family man. Because although I would cut a bitch to make-out with him backstage at the Oscars this Sunday, I’m no home-wrecker and Hugh has two children with his wife whom he met on an Austrialian television series. Sigh. I guess this will have to do for now.