Overheard: Groundhog Day is Over

[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!

By John

Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]

“It’s late. It’s dangerously late. I’d better set my clock for omelettes.”

“Oh my God! The Japanese Dragon! It… it escaped from the Chinese New Year’s Parade!”

“When will you be there?”

“Why do you care?”

“So I can hang out with you – my friend. Because I’ve got friends. Unlike you.”

“That kitten’s got a beard. He doesn’t see anything wrong with it. He thinks it’s just dandy, that poor little guy.”

You can’t be too hung over. You need to wake up and have no motivation. When having no motivation is actively painful, then you got a problem.

The best way to experience Groundhog Day is via video – you know, you really get that one crowning moment of groundhog perfection.

“If you pull a rodent out of a hole really fast, what do you expect it to do? It sh*ts all over the place.”

Two young men, walking in silence. Then:

“You’re the best friend I’ve met at college, man.”

“Yeah. You are too.”

A class, outside, under a tree

“This isn’t a circle of friendship. This is a circle of hate. I hate you all.”

“T and K. We call each other T and K.”

“Like Tits and C**k.”

“Hardness fetishists?”

“No, no – armpit faces.”

“I’m not usually this cool. These are my boyfriend’s pants.”

“Oops. I ran that red light. Gift of the Magi.”

“You can’t just say ‘Gift of the Magi’ every time you f**k something up!”

“Fruit Loops Marshmallow Bar? How is that?”

“I don’t know. It’s strange. You should eat it if you want to be interested in your food.”