The Master Cleanse? More like The Master Fraud.

February 22, 2009     Posted in Body

mc_supplies_ltd.jpgI’ve never really been much of a health nut. Sure, I try to throw some fruits & veggies in my diet and I drink light beer, but other than that my nutrition quotient is pretty low. I still consider pizza and pasta the two most basic (and essential) food groups.


By Erica

Despite the fact that I know as much about nutrition as say, someone on Celebrity Fit Club, I actually wasn’t surprised to see this article in the NY Times about those miracle “flushes” and “cleanses.” Basically, lots of doctors says they’re bullsh*t.

According to the article, many western docs think that detox diets are not only not good for you, they could also potentially be harmful. One doctor in the article was quoted as stating “What ends up being consumed during a ‘detox’ are essentially stimulants, laxatives and diuretics.” Ew.

Okay, let me back up a second for those of you who may be as nutritionally clueless as I am. Most “cleanses” are like extreme diets that you undergo for a couple days or weeks. Basically, you avoid certain foods and replace them with nutritional and herbal supplements. In turn, your body that was once full of evil toxins is supposed to rejoice (after you feel like absolute sh*t for a few days) as you remove what the article calls “sludge” from your “constipated” body.

Take, for example, the arguably most famous detox program, The Master Cleanse. What you do is replace all solid food with a little mixture of lemon juice, cayenne pepper, maple syrup and water for a minimum of 10 days (but some people do this for up to 45 days. What the f*ck?!). Other detox diets reduce meat and/or solid food intake. Even crazier still: some diets advocate the use of enemas, colonics and herbal laxatives to rid the intestinal track of toxins.

Yes, seriously.

But what the article is getting it as is that even though some detox diets are good in theory and provide you with some vitamins and minerals, all you’re really doing is starving yourself. Or sticking something up your ass. Not fun.

And what’s even scarier is that, according to one doctor in the article, there is absolutely no solid evidence that detoxification programs actually work.

My take is this: I believe in everything in moderation. If you want to “cleanse” yourself of the “evil toxins” in the food we eat, go for it. But I think staying away from high fructose corn syrup, foods high in trans fat and sugar, and maybe cutting back a bit on the booze should do.

As for me, the only detox diet I plan to try this year is one that consists of pizza, beer and chicken wings. And maybe some celery sticks for good measure…and because they go so well with that ranch sauce I’ll be dipping my buffalo wings in. Yum.

25 Comments on "The Master Cleanse? More like The Master Fraud."

  1. pamela says:
    Sun, 22nd Feb 20097:29 am 

    since you say you know nothing of nutrition, how can you even write this article? it just shows how close-minded you are. read one single article in a newspaper and you believe what those doctors say? what about what the rest of the doctors say? opposing argument perhaps? you have never done the master cleanse, so you don't know what it's like or what it does to your body.

    you know the reason why most western doctors don't consider detoxes worth doing? because westerners consume excessive levels of protein, animal fats, and oils. so if you have an unhealthy diet and detox, sure it will clean the crap out, but going back to that healthy diet afterwards will have only cleared the decaying meat out of your intestine.

    if you master cleanse while following an all plant based diet, there are significant health benefits. maybe you should do some more research next time before you write an article about nutrition.

  2. Anonymous says:
    Sun, 22nd Feb 20097:49 am 

    If you ask most registered dietitians, they'll agree that extreme detox diets like the "master cleanse" are not healthy beyond a few days at most. I saw on The Today show a few weeks ago a doctor who says nature (i.e. your colon) already does a pretty good job of cleansing already…otherwise we would probably be in severe pain. I think the only benefit of doing a detox diet for a few days might be to give your body a change to get back on track after a few days of eating bad fats, alcohol, and overloading on sugar.

  3. Casey says:
    Sun, 22nd Feb 20098:05 am 

    college candy already did an article on this i thought. A long long time ago.

  4. Laura says:
    Sun, 22nd Feb 20099:48 am 

    Casey- yea they did, one of the writers tried it. Failed.

    Pamela- The master cleanse is a nice way of saying you are starving yourself. It is no different from the way anorexics only drink water for days at a time, then giving themselves laxatives to rid their bodies of all food. It is dangerous and not healthy. (I know what I am talking about)

  5. Jes says:
    Sun, 22nd Feb 200911:09 am 

    Most of those detox diets do seem like just a mask for starvation, if you really want to cleanse your body of the chemical bi-products etc, you try sticking out a raw food diet for a few days. At least those are scientifically proven to improve vitamin and mineral absorption, and as long as you eat a lot throughout the day you shouldn't be starving and "in pain".

  6. Bri says:
    Sun, 22nd Feb 20093:26 pm 

    I went on the master cleanse for about 15 days. It was only because it gave me a cover for my eating disorder. I was just as hungry on the master cleanse as I was when I was only drinking water. If anything, diet soda pop filled me up more. I also found no health benefits of being on the cleanse, it could be because I was already unhealthy though. The cayenne pepper also burned my throat. Also, once you start eating like a normal person, you gain the weight back in a snap. Even if you begin following a healthy vegetarian diet. You still gain a good amount of weight back and if you don't build the enzymes up in your stomach, it can make you really sick.

    Bottom line; The Master Cleanse is a fraud, as are most if not all detox diets.

  7. Mallory says:
    Sun, 22nd Feb 200911:32 pm 

    I fast/detox (for health/religious) reasons and so many people think it's stupid or going to lead to anorexia. While the methods you mentioned sound gross and harmful, going a few days or weeks without meat, dairy and carbs won't kill you and yes the "evil toxins" release from your body and you will feel better.

  8. lemonadedietworks says:
    Wed, 19th Aug 20097:21 am 

    If we're all going by what the doctors in this country say, consider this: We were ranked 72nd in health by the World Health Organization, despite the fact that we spend the most in health care. Our allopathic doctors know only how to treat a symptom, with a drug that creates various other symptoms. There are hundreds of thousands of testimonials of people who have actually DONE the Master Cleanse, who can say for themselves how it has helped or improved their state of health. <a>See for yourself, it's not a conspiracy. Go to The Raw Food Site and read the first-hand experiences of thousands it has helped.

  9. chris says:
    Wed, 23rd Sep 20096:29 pm 

    the Master Cleanse or lemonade diet is a very good way to detoxify you body. i always use it once on a while to get rid of toxins.

  10. melatoningirl says:
    Sun, 27th Sep 20092:32 am 

    the Master Cleanse or Lemonade Diet is a very good way in detoxifying your body and getting lots of Vitamin-C at the same time.

  11. Michael says:
    Thu, 1st Oct 20096:20 pm 

    I'm beginning my fifth day of the MasterCleanse, and this is one of the most amazing experiences of my 34 years. I must say that the things that impresses me the most about this are the mental clarity that I am experiencing, the unbelievable amount of energy I have, the visible release of toxins through my skin, tongue, and movements are pretty cool as well. My sense of smell is unbelievably strong, and my sight seems to be more clear and sharper as well. The most important thing I can say is, If you are even considering doing the cleanse, download and read the original text by Stanley Burroughs, and follow the instructions to the letter.

    Oh, yeah… don't follow the advice given by those who have never done it, nor the advice of those who know nothing of nutrition.

    Happy Cleansing

  12. Haley says:
    Sat, 10th Oct 200911:29 pm 

    the master cleanse for me is the most convenient way to detoxify your body. i also happen to love drinking a lot of lemon juice so i love the master cleanse.

  13. Kristen says:
    Thu, 15th Oct 20097:59 am 

    Hey ignorance, don't knock it until you've tried it. Hope you're not going for Journalism…

  14. lemonade diet says:
    Fri, 30th Oct 20099:20 am 

    I suffered from stomach pain and burning mostly, couldn't sleep well and just hated those extra pounds I couldn't get rid of no matter what I did. Now I stumbled upon this system that is easy and it doesn't require expensive medication or difficult exercises.

  15. best phone sex numbe says:
    Mon, 8th Feb 201012:28 am 

    I think you should consult with a good doctor.

  16. It's BullShit says:
    Wed, 24th Mar 20106:05 am 

    People spouting this nonsense about "toxins" in the body need to take an intro to biochemistry course.

  17. Barbra Waters says:
    Sun, 18th Apr 201011:45 am 

    Im a young early 30's healthy mom of 2 with a loving hubby at home and a part time job – so I am always busy!

    I have been taking the Dr Max Powers 15 Day Cleanse (no, its not just for men as my dr told me) for approximately 8 days and they have worked wonders with my diet.

    In the past 3 days I have lost 6 pounds of waste. My appetite is down and I feel great. I'm taking 2 pills a day, 1 in the morning and 1 in the evening. There is no stomach cramping, although my stomach has made a couple of growling noises at me..giving me a warning that it is time to go to the bathroom..but other than that..no real problems..I am going to continue using these pills. Looking forward to more waste (weight) loss…hip-hip-hooray!!!

  18. roy tanoulas says:
    Thu, 6th May 20101:07 am 

    the erica — kent university article is really twisted and bias in terms of its report about the master cleanse diet.

    I doubt very much that she made any inquiry to the PCRM

    physicians committee for responsible medicine or went through a personal experience with said MC diet. A friend of R. Tanoulas and his wife went through the program and got VERY GOOD results. I will get back in a follow up report on my personal experience for 2010.

    let TRUTH PREVAIL ________ roy tanoulas

  19. cleanse is goo says:
    Thu, 17th Jun 20109:51 am 

    It is hard to trust the opinions of doctors, especially western doctors who promote drugs, treatment of symptoms and do not focus on long term health. As for the "take a biochemistry class" guy, whatever, I bet you got a great grade in that class. The body is full of toxins, almost everything we consume has toxins in it or had toxins used in its production. The food and water consumed in North America is full of poison, our bodies are just reasonably good at removing it. However there is a limit to what the body can do to cleanse itself. People who say that these detoxes and fasts are unnatural, are overlooking the fact the we put so many unnatural ingredients into our bodies that it takes some more severe methods to remove them.

    Fasting and juice fasting treat the cause, not the symptoms like drugs do.

  20. Mike says:
    Tue, 13th Jul 201011:57 pm 

    Cleanse is goo:

    Yes, we shouldn't trust the opinions of doctors who have spent countless year studying everything about the body and how it functions, and rely on cause and effect knowledge that people pass around in the form of "detoxification". The water that we drink is not full of poison, I think someone would have noticed right now. In fact, the addition of fluoride into the water has done us quite a bit of good. Go ahead and find a friend of a friend who checks water samples in homes, usually someone who is a home inspector. They'll be able to sample your water and let you know that it's perfectly fine.

    Drugs are not created to treat symptoms. That would be absolutely silly. All prescription drugs go through rigorous trials and testing to make sure that they are doing much more than just treating symptoms. If we only treated symptoms then we wouldn't be able to get rid of infections. In fact, drugs create symptoms while they're treating the cause. Otherwise why would we take it?

    Fasting and juice just treat symptoms and are a mask for mild starvation.

    Perhaps you should go back to school.

  21. CDC says:
    Sat, 24th Jul 20109:31 am 

    I tried on procedure today hoping it was a lax.

    It screwed up my system badly and didn't even drink all of it.

    This is a scam, and my left kidney says so.

    I should of known that having only one tsp of salt was the max intake for a day and this salt drink asked for 2. Some people even mistook it and poured in 2 tablespoons. And to drink it for that short amount of time. T-T i'm so stupid.

  22. Master Cleanse is Great says:
    Mon, 4th Jul 20112:31 am 

    Stupid close minded bitch shut the fuck about things you don’t know or understand. The Master Cleanse made me lose 3 pounds in one day not that I’m overweight just wanna tone up just a bit. Keep eating your pizza and wings you idiot maybe when you’re not so closed minded you’ll realize that junk like that is bad for you.

  23. Really?!?! says:
    Wed, 11th Apr 201212:59 am 

    Everyone makes me laugh… Especially the tree hugging hippies who thinks that western doctors haven’t got a clue what is good for you. Really?? So you all think that drs are uneducated and have no clue what is good for the human body? Then there are the haters who say that you are all starving yourselves and it’s a mask of just trying to lose a few pounds. Then we have the last entry, well that one doesn’t count, she is well a little uneducated and can’t speak with out without swearing!! Then there’s the ” protectors of it” that say it makes you glow, feel better, lots of energy …. Blah blah blah. Really??? Therea no nutritional value, just suger for energy, and lots of well… Going to the bathroom.. Bottom line you starve yourself, rid your body of all alcohol, excess waste, soda, and all the McDonald you eat. So by the time your done you start with a clean slate. That’s true.. After shocking your system for days your not wanting soda, coffee, sugary food. If your doing this to lose weight….. Wrong choice… It comes back. If your doing this to get a fresh start.. Good choice, after the cleanse your putting your healthy food into a clean bucket.. Just eat well and exercise and you will always feel good and not feeling you have to “cleanse” your body because you feel guilty of how you have been treating it… Be well, and make good choices.

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