We’ve All Been There: Online Stalking


[It doesn’t matter what school you go to, what state it is in, how big it is, whether it is public or private, all girls or coed…there are experiences that all college students share.

No matter how crazy you think your personal situation is, it is not just you. So, let’s bring it all out in the open. Right here. Because you are not alone – we’ve all been there before.]

Your friend from class invites you to a party. Looking for a change of social scenery (there are only so many days in a row that you can play Kings with the same 6 people), you go. It’s a whole new social circle and you are excited to see what else your campus has to offer.

While waiting in line for the keg, you start chatting it up with a rather handsome man (in a pair of hot jeans…yes, you looked). Turns out, he’s also funny, charming, and has this cute little dimple in his left cheek when he smiles. You spend a good chunk of the night talking, but then the keg runs out and your friend drags you out of the house in search of greener (or boozier) pastures.

So now you have left the party….without his number.

The night progresses in a blur of flip cup, party hopping, and a hazy memory of peeing in a sink. When you wake up, you feel like crap – and also have an empty Tupperware that once housed you roommate’s mom’s homemade cookies next to your bed. You lay in bed attempting to put the pieces of the night together when – BAM – the Keg Cutie comes flooding into your mind.

You have to figure out who he is. You slowly crawl out of bed, realize you are naked and put on some sweats, then settle in in front of your laptop. First stop: trusty ole’ FB, of course.

You look up your class friend and then scroll through all 787 of her friends until you find Keg Cutie’s tiny thumbnail pic. Lucky for you, he hasn’t hopped on the “total FB privacy” bandwagon yet and you have full access to his profile. You tell yourself you are just trying to get a last name so you can send a cute and witty email, but before you know it you are memorizing his favorite movies, class schedule and causes.

“I wonder if he’s as cute as I remember,” you think. “I’ll just look at a few pics.”

Thirty minutes and 453 pictures later, you are looking at the profile and albums of that hussy who was in at least 70 of his pics with him.   You convince yourself she is an ex (“the albums she was in were added in 2007, so they can’t still be together!”) and feel a little better.

You realize that you and Keg Cutie have a few other friends in common and work your way through FB to figure out the connections. Not that you want to show up wherever he may be…. No, you are just curious.

When you’ve exhausted all Facebook resources, you stop caring about how stalkerish you’ve become and look the boy up on your University’s database (to see where he’s living, perhaps?) and Google (to check out his past).

By 3pm, you know more about Keg Cutie than you know about your own family members. Like the fact that he lives in the dorm next to you. You decide maybe it’s time to start dining in a different cafeteria… and putting on makeup to do so. Maybe you’ll check out their study lounges too. And you’re sure you have a few friends in there you can start hanging out with again…

I mean, that’s not weird, is it?

Well, yes, it is. But we’ve all been there and it’s not our fault; Facebook makes it too easy!



  1. Rebecca says:

    No, I can't say I've taken it quite to this level…creepy.

  2. Marlie says:

    I totally asked myself, "if you're not going to post your relationship status on Facebook, then who the hell is that chick in your lap at your birthday party?"

    Sketch- and proud.

  3. Samantha says:

    I do this… constantly. It's a wonder I have time to eat and sleep. I know way too much about way too many people (okay, boys).

  4. sophie says:

    I’m totally guilty of doing this a few times! But I don’t usually do it if I don’t atleast know the guy’s name b/c going through a list of hundreds of names is just a waste of time!

  5. robin says:

    Haha definitely been there!

    I’ve gotten as far as hometown, family members’ jobs, etc etc… of a bf’s “ex.” let’s just say this was a low point in my mental health history :)

  6. Ashley says:

    I'm really good at online searches, so trying to find that random "Jake" you met at the party last night is like a challenge for me… I feel so accomplished afterwords, haha!

  7. infaeth says:

    lol!!! been there!! yes FB does make it easy!! thank God they cant find out whose been viewing their profiles!

  8. Lacey says:

    haha and fb comes with all the stalker needed materials like who they are dating/engaged to, jobs, school, even their church and political beliefs. Not to mention you can read wall-to-wall converstations…it does get to be a bit much

  9. sara says:

    Wow, definitely never spent more than 10 minutes looking at someone's profile.

  10. karla says:

    i’ve only done it with someone that im in a relationship, not with guys i’ve barely known.

  11. Nat says:

    You are right; everyone has done it or at least some form of it and the reason is the nature of facebook. Its too easy. Which is the exact reason I wont create a facebook. Not that I feel I will be a creep but that it is a HUGE wast of time.

  12. […] So what does this mean? It means that you don’t have to waste that extra ten minutes at the gym cooling down. In fact, for better results, it means that you shouldn’t. Finish your desired workout, grab your things and head home. Then use that extra time for something more productive, like studying, making a healthy snack… or stalking your crush on Facebook. […]

  13. Madison says:

    Oh my god I agree like 1000%. I hate to admit it but we've alll been thre

  14. Kelly says:

    I agree with Nat. Reason why i wont create a facebook is because it is WAYY to easy to find info on people these days about anyone. Just create a fake account add a whole bunch of random people and viola u know info about half of peoples lives that they wont know about you. Not saying ive done it but i know people exes that been guilty of doing so.. very creepy i might add but its more common then you think.

  15. […] gone awry. So you’re sitting in your room, stalking your crush whom you have barely said hello to, when all of a sudden it happens. Your computer freezes and you […]

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  19. Maria says:

    Hahahaha this is too true!

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  22. […] Who among us has never Facebook stalked? Anyone? Seriously, anyone? It’s easy and mostly harmless, so we all do it a little bit sometimes to see how much less awesome your ex’s new girlfriend is than you, or to find out if that cutie in you American Lit class is single (and into women). It’s not a big deal, right? But when does it cross the line? According to research, one third of women check their significant other’s web browser history to see what their partners been surfing and 1 in 10 has actually hacked into their SO’s email and personal accounts to keep an eye on them. Is this just a natural extension of our tech savvy, in-everybody’s-personal-business lives, or has technology turned us into creepy Fatal Attraction candidates? […]

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