He Said/She Said: Kissing After…. You Know


Remember that Sex and the City episode when Miranda meets that guy at a Weight Watchers meeting? They head back to her place and get it on, but when he comes back up from downtown for a little smoochy smoochy, his face looks like it’s been dipped in donut glaze.


It was that episode that first instilled fear in me of kissing after a little downtown action. The whole after-oral makeout sesh grosses. me. out. But I also know many girls who will unleash the fury on their men if they don’t get a little thank you kiss when their (difficult…they don’t call it a job for nothing, right?) work is done.

Where do guys stand on this issue? We asked one…





What do you think?




  1. thegr8brownie says:

    i always kiss

    but i always discretely wipe my mouth and swallow everything in my mouth, i try to get as close to clean as i can in the 2.3 seconds it takes me to get back up to your face.

    i really appreciate when girls do the same.

  2. Marlie says:

    It totally took me by surprise the first time a guy was like, erm, I'm not too keen on that right now. I was like "waaah?" "oh. well okay" and then we moved on.

  3. jayjayy says:

    with my ex whenever i went down & came back up, he was definitely a little disgusted & even told me so, but said that his urge to kiss me outweighed the fact i had just went down..

    so maybe it's just whtever the bigger urge is?


  4. Star says:

    I had an ex that always insisted on kissing me after I was done even though I kept telling him I didn't want him to cause I thought it would gross him out. But he would just chase me down and kiss me anyway lol.

  5. lane says:

    I dont stop my guy from kissing me afterwards, but I really do think that it's different than when you've gone down on a guy.

    I don't honestly think my guy really cares either way.

    When I've taken care of him, he just goes with it. Half the time he throws me down for a round and then things just keep naturally progressing.

    I really think that you've let that Sex and the City episode traumatize you a little too much. Just do what feels naturally for you. Like your friend told you, if you spend too much time thinking about it, you'll always just end up freaking yourself out

  6. Candie says:

    After my guy goes down, I'm totally okay with kissing him…it just doesnt bother me. But after I go down and come up, we have a nice sweet kiss on the cheek. Problem solved =)

  7. helen says:

    when i first went down on my bf and went up to kiss him afterward he was kind of hesitant to kiss me back so i just took a sip of water that was on the night stand and i guess that made it a little better. hahaha so every time i went down on him i made sure there was a cup of some beverage i could take a quick sip of afterwards.

    it didn't bother me, but i guess it bothered him. and if you think about it, it is a bit disturbing.. and i can understand his viewpoint so it's not really a big deal for me.

  8. Kay says:

    I am grossed out by it too. I never go and kiss my dude after i do the deed to him. I go and kiss his cheek or neck instead. And Ive had him notice and thank me for not kissing him after. haha.

  9. steve marcks says:

    i went down on my lady and then kissed by mom afterwards. pwned!

  10. Anna says:

    I kiss my bf when I come back up 90% of the time. Not because I want him to thank me or anything (it's pretty obvious when he's enjoying himself), but because it's sort of my way to move on to something more… mutually enjoyable :D The only time I don't kiss is if going down wasn't just foreplay and I… well, have a mouth full. I wouldn't kiss after that. In fact, I usually deal with it and then brush my teeth lol!

  11. jennifer says:

    I haaaaaaaaaate it when you guys post "articles" where all you did was copy and paste your IM conversation! If youre too lazy to write a real article or interview, just quit your job. UGH.

  12. Calrose says:

    I actually like it when they post the IM convos. Its refreshing to read an actual conversation, rather than a summary of it later. That is the whole point of the article series, He Said/She Said, a back and forth convo between a girl and a guy. Jennifer-read something else if it really bugs you that much. If you are taking this stuff too seriously, you probably should just look elsewhere for your daily entertainment!

  13. Thomas says:

    As I guy I don’t have a problem with it, assuming the person has swallowed, spit, whatever. Of the girls I have dated only 1 has had an issue kissing me after going down on her. I don’t see why a girl should think it is just unbearable, I just spent 5-10 minutes down there and I am not complaining. I don’t follow the logic of getting weirded out by ‘the glazed doughnut’ to only a few minutes later put a penis in one’s mouth?

    But a more basic answer for the author, if ‘it’s not fun down there’, than you probably shouldn’t be doing it. Problem solved!

  14. chelle says:

    it doesn't bother me, my boyfriend always always always kisses after with tounge and all, i don't think there is anything gross or wrong with my vagina or vulva,so there you go. buuut he always does a quick hand wipe over his mouth before he goes in for the kiss.

    i always kiss him after i head too, he's really into it now, although he wasn't when we first started dating. i think there has to be a certain level of comfort with the person.

  15. Lucy says:

    It certainly doesn't bother me at all and actually, I think it's really annoying when the kissing is over after foreplay. Kissing during sex is the best!

    However, I've met guys that refuse to kiss and others that kiss me without hestitating. I just let them make the first move. :)

  16. Gwenevere says:

    The first time my ex went down on me, when he came back up, he asked me if I was grossed out by kissing him after what he did.. I told him no, that I frequently liked to sample my taste during and after my sexual acts.. That totally relieve him, because he loved kissing me, but didn't want to gross me out..

    So it all really depends on the people, and how they like it.. It's probably a good idea to talk about it before the awkward "do we kiss" moment doesn't arrive..

  17. Nufoxx says:

    Well, I don't mind kissing a guy after he's been down there, but then again, i've never had someone with face like a glazed doughnut

  18. Mystery says:

    "Or whenever the next opportunity arises"???? Please.

  19. Me says:

    It doesn't seem like any of you like going down there, or that your boyfriends appreciate you at all…my boyfriend wouldn't let me even if I wanted to because he finds it demeaning…I do know that if I did, he wouldn't think twice about kissing me after…

  20. Lisa says:

    First of all, I love going down on my guy. We use it as foreplay for the most part, so there arent many times that he finishes in my mouth. So we never have an issue about kissing. I know he gets grossed out with going down on me, so he usually cleans up before we continue.. Otherwise, if he does finish in my mouth, its usually the end of the episode so I can drink some water and such. I've never had a guy refuse to kiss me.. it usually depends on if I need water or not. :)

    And to "Me".. I dont find it demeaning. It turns me on to turn him on, which I do in a multitude of ways. its another way to express your love for that person.. But if you bf doesnt even like anyone doing it.. it would be strange to me not to be able to express that to him.

  21. Cristina says:

    I dont know about everyone else, but I always have a drink handy after I give oral because I like to wash the taste out of my mouth, so kissing my boyfriend afterward isnt an issue (although my guy told me he doesnt care at all. He used the argument, "It's my body, my fluids, why would I be grossed out?"). But, whenever I am with someone new, I always ask after I'm done. I would be really embarrassed if I went for the kiss and he wasnt okay with it, so I just find it easier to ask, haha.

  22. Frat Boy says:

    I totally don't know what to do about this subject. I actually just wrote a story about this on this website my buddy sent me called and the editors just posted my sex etiquette story on the front page! Yes published author…or blogger! Anyways, I am just as confused as anyone on what the fuck to do. check out my story though if it's still there.

  23. Nesty says:

    When my girl goes down to me and does all that,she comes back and kisses me.I also go down,do it to her,and come back and kiss her.It's ok by me.

  24. L says:

    I’ve actually never had this problem with a guy. Whoever I was with, I think we always kissed after anyone went down without thinking much of it. No complaints, no grossed out looks, just wanting to make out some more.

  25. karla says:

    i dont get ppl sayin its gross, maybe you guys dont feel comfortable enough with ur partner? I've never questioned this, we always kiss after!

  • You Might Like