A Cautionary Tale from a College Disaster: Psst…Pass the Gossip!

February 26, 2009     Posted in Reality

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By Charlsie

Gossip and rumors are main staples on college campuses across the nation, and the website Juicy Campus (which was recently shut down), shows just how far people are willing to go to spread gossip. At some point in everyone’s life, gossip comes up – good or bad. Gossip, in moderation, can be just another thing, but in a culture that obsesses about pop culture and dishing dirt (think of websites like Perez Hilton), the fixation of dishing dirt about someone else isn’t going away any time soon.

Although many of us love to gather on Monday nights to watch Gossip Girl and watch the scandals of the Upper East Side unfold, no one likes it when their own personal life is exposed in the cafeteria over wilted lettuce or when private information rolls off the lips of classmates before the professor starts the class. While gossip may seem like something that comes and goes, it can leave its dirty scars behind all too often.

Maybe because it’s an all-women’s college and women often use each other to bring others down, or maybe it is the size of the university, but the Hollins rumor mill never seems to cease on campus. It constantly peeks its nasty little head around the corner for students that least expect it. Whether it hurts friendships, ruins reputations, or isolates students from campus events — gossip can cause tremendous damage.

Remember when my mom and I met with the President to discuss the bullying that happened my first year? Well, upon arrival at Hollins for my sophomore year, the student body buzzed (never to my face, though) with the rumor that Hollins implemented a bullying policy because of me… being a bully. No one knew that my mom and I brought forth the issues that happened with me because of a bully on campus, demanding the President to come up with a bullying policy. No one knew what happened to me as a first year. However, everyone seemed to accuse me of things that I did not do.

Time after time, I have met girls on campus who tell me how “mean” I sounded from other students’ tales of meetings with me. One of my friends was even warned by another student to not be my friend. Whenever I hear these stories, the people who spoke out against me are always peers I have never met myself. They are usually students who I have never had contact with. How can anyone pass judgment before they have met someone else, especially in the context of putting someone else down? I don’t know how anyone could go around talking so negatively about someone else, when they have never personally had an experience with that person.

I have seen gossip make people unable to maintain decent friendships on campus, as well. For example, this girl named Emma (name changed) was known around campus to have a “private jet,” an extensive collection of designer apparel in her closet, and people even talked of her having major connections to the sports industry. Girls on campus thought they would take advantage of Emma by befriending her, only to go into her closet and steal her designer clothes. Not only would they go and steal her stuff, but they would talk about taking from her because she deserved it as a “rich kid.”

Truth is, Emma does not have a private jet (although her dad is a pilot), she doesn’t have immediate connections to the sports industry, and the only designer clothes she owns come from outlet malls. Now, whenever students meet Emma for the first time, they can’t get past her “rich kid” reputation. How can Emma expect to make friends on campus when everyone seems to focus on what they heard about her, instead of actually getting to know her?

Talk spreads like wildfire. I see it all the time. Just walk into the cafeteria on Monday morning and other people know where you were over the weekend. How? My first reaction to this, when it happened to me, was that those who were asking found out from Facebook. Since then I have had to make my Facebook entirely private, along with many other students on campus, in order to have any privacy. Though the gossip has not ceased.

Worst of all, it doesn’t help when the administration plays into the whole “Guess what I heard about you” game. On more than one occasion I have heard of students going to speak with the Dean of Students or head of Residence Life, only to come out with gossip from other students told to them by the authority figure who uses the gossip against them. If the administration lends an ear to gossip, of course the student body is going to keep it up.

I have heard many rumors about myself here at Hollins, and 99% of them never happened, resemble nothing from the truth, and have no merit. At first, I am not going to lie, the rumors really bothered me. A lot of them were hurtful, and a lot of them have stuck (despite not being true), but there comes a point when you have to displace yourself from that, even when it seems like everyone is talking about you. There have been so many times when I have seen my fellow peers break down about something that was said about them, and even though you want to stand up and say “No – that’s not true! That didn’t happen!” you can’t, and it doesn’t seem right or fair.

If sisterhood exists at Hollins, then why does gossip own the souls of most students? Whenever someone hears something that is obviously not true, no one speaks up – they just go along with it, and that is unacceptable. I am sick of hearing gossip about people and myself, especially at a school that talks about the loyalty and respectfulness of its students. If Hollins continues to let rumors take hold of the student body, I believe there will be no way to return to a clean, respectful state in the student body. No one will be able to avoid it, and that just seems entirely too extreme.

I know Hollins isn’t alone in this gossip battle – tell me about your school and how big of an impact gossip has on the student body? What is the worst rumor you have ever heard about yourself or someone else? Do you think gossip, in moderation, is healthy or just vicious in any degree? Time to share your story!

34 Comments on "A Cautionary Tale from a College Disaster: Psst…Pass the Gossip!"

  1. sam says:
    Thu, 26th Feb 200910:02 am 

    my two best friends got put on juicy campus for being "nasty sluts". one of my friends is a virgin, and the other has been in a committed relationship since freshman year. As a result (100 comments later), one of them is transferring. I HATE gossip websites.

  2. Honestly... says:
    Thu, 26th Feb 200910:25 am 

    It may sound mean, but I would probably talk negatively about you too I think. (Look! I amnow! What a coincidence! lol)

    Based solely on how often you "share" about yourself (not really blogging about topics, so much as constantly whinnnning about things that have happened to you…) I've dealt with 100 times worse shit in my life and I dont feel the need to tell everyone about it to vindicate my poor crushed feelings.

    Its annoying. Its not good writing. It sounds like you always need to play the victim and honestly, its rather boring.

    If it sucks so badly, then shut up and move to another campus!! No one cares about hearing you "stand up for yourself in the face of injustice" anymore… At first I felt your pain, but now I think I'm beginning to see why people treat you badly.

    (Enter long paragraph about why you're not any of these horribly mean things and defend yourself again, and don't forget to underhandedly make me out to be an evil, judgemental bitch amongst the masses. Its predictable.)

    "But why is it happening to me?" Pouty face*

    ….snore*

  3. P.S. says:
    Thu, 26th Feb 200910:28 am 

    Your blog is soooo much longer than everyone elses and I think I actually just counted 39 times that you used the words "I, me or myself."

    Gezus.

  4. Matthew says:
    Thu, 26th Feb 200910:41 am 

    This column shows excellent writing. It is easily understood, gives meaningful examples, doesn't stray from the main point. You are all just examples of the bullying system that comes from gossip and heresay. You are beginning to dislike someone you don't even know because of stories that are the result of other people doing the same thing based on made up information and incompetence on the part of the administration and the student body. So your own behavior should serve to prove that what is happening to that poor girl to be completely plausible, because you have become the bullys.

  5. Cassie says:
    Thu, 26th Feb 200910:56 am 

    To Honestly…

    If you don't like to read her blogs, then don't read them! Her name is at the top of the page. Click to the next one if you don't like her style of writing, instead of leaving negative comments about how "nobody wants to hear what she has to say." You don't speak for all of the readers on this website.

    I am so sick of people being so negative ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY WON'T EVEN LEAVE THEIR NAMES. How cowardly can you get?

  6. Keightee says:
    Thu, 26th Feb 200911:01 am 

    Charlsie, don't listen to "Honestly" – like others said, they didn't even sign their real name.

    I always find your blogs to be interesting and well-written. I think you speak to a lot of issues that people experience, but don't know how to deal with. Keep up the good work!

  7. Rilynne says:
    Thu, 26th Feb 200911:20 am 

    I love your blogs–they're definitely a favorite of mine! Keep it up.

  8. Alison says:
    Thu, 26th Feb 200912:31 pm 

    Okay, I agree with Honestly! If you hate your school so much and apparently have had such a horrible experience, why haven't you transferred out yet? Each time I read your blogs, you complain about something else, and yet you still go there! You're an adult now, so if you really want to you can pick yourself up and leave. Obviously, moaning about it on the internet hasn't improved your situation very much. Hell, transfer to a state school and you can practically graduate without anyone knowing you!

    Also, you'll notice I signed my name…

  9. Emma says:
    Thu, 26th Feb 20091:03 pm 

    If she transferred to a state school, most of her liberal artsy courses wouldn't transfer over. She'd most likely have to repeat a few semesters. And with this economy, that's especially not such a great idea.

  10. Vivian says:
    Thu, 26th Feb 20093:15 pm 

    I know you keep saying that you refuse to transfer because of the quality of your school’s education, but honestly Hollins is only ranked the 98th best liberal arts school in America (yes, yes, I know that’s pretty good) BUT that also means that there are 97 (NINETY-SEVEN!) other liberal arts colleges that can offer you a better education and a bully/gossip/banana-free environment. You’re a talented writer and you’re obviously very smart, but I really wish you would just let the abuse stop

  11. Rhonda says:
    Thu, 26th Feb 20093:19 pm 

    Ok its time for you to stop crying about how bad your life at school is. Do something about it. Instead of poor me pity me. Transfer to another school. There are plenty out there that are known for their academics.

  12. snarktastic says:
    Thu, 26th Feb 20093:30 pm 

    you are such a freakin' whiner. it doesn't matter what school you go to or which environment you are in – people gossip. and you gossip, too.

    i've found that most people tend to focus most of their gossip and negativity to people who aren't enjoyable to be around and eschew negativity. guess what? YOU ARE A NEGATIVE PERSON.

    what exactly did you expect when you decided to go to hollins? 800 college aged women. in roanoke. perhaps you weren't critical enough to find a place that's a good fit for your attitude. though if your articles are any indication, you wouldn't be happy anywhere. hollins is a good place – you seem to be a very inappropriate representative.

  13. Candie says:
    Thu, 26th Feb 20093:51 pm 

    I agree with 'Honestly'…your writing is boring and predictable. And to Cassie, I read her articles because I like this website and keep my hopes up for quality content. If you're so sick of people being negative, its hard to see how you can enjoy Charlsie's constant whining and self-pity.

  14. Emily says:
    Thu, 26th Feb 20094:12 pm 

    Okay, Honestly…

    I agree with honestly. It seems like all you have done in your articles is complain about things. Instead of talking to your peers about issues and dealing with them like an adult, you run to administrators with your mom to complain.

    If all of your articles were about different people who have told you their own experiences, then maybe I would feel differently, but this constant "I'm the victim, feel bad for me, why does this happen to me?" act is getting old.

    You say you do not want to transfer because you have great friends and like the academics, so why don't you just STOP complaining and ENJOY your friends and classes and professors? If not, then transfer already! I don't care how hard it might be to transfer, if you hate your school so much that you need to be writing weekly articles about all the things you find wrong with Hollin's and it's administrators, then you need to get out of there or suck it up and shut up.

    It is good to show people that college is not always this wonderful experience, but if you are having this many problems, it cannot be the school, it is most likely you.

  15. Emma says:
    Thu, 26th Feb 20094:46 pm 

    I’m glad I’ve found you as a friend, and I know we’re friends for the right reasons.

  16. Beth says:
    Thu, 26th Feb 20096:47 pm 

    I agree with Honestly- although (s)he said it harshly, it’s true-

    Charlsie, you have to look at it from a reader’s point of view… you play the victim ALL the time, and it gets really hard to believe that you’re not just overly sensitive and whiney- or somehow deserving of what you get. People don’t smear bananas on stuff for no reason- maybe you pissed off someone you blogged about.

    Sorry.

  17. Lauren, University o says:
    Fri, 27th Feb 20093:21 am 

    I think she's writing to share her experiences and show the other people out there who are suffering at their universities that they are not alone. not everyone LOVES their college campus and maybe people feel out of place when they dont.

    People are so good at being rude, judgmental and bitchy via the internet, but what you say hurts and stings so stop being so mean! This girl is sharing her very personal experiences!

  18. snarktastic says:
    Fri, 27th Feb 20094:19 am 

    lauren, i feel you're missing the fact that charlsie is being rude, judgmental, and bitchy. hollins is a small school – many people haven't heard of it and if this is their only exposure to it, then they are getting an inaccurate representation. hollins is a very unique and great place. i didn't go there, but i have some close friends who do and i went to a very similar school.

    of course not everyone loves their school, but i cannot stand people who stay miserable. she's dropping about $40k a year to be so unhappy and probably making a lot of people around her miserable in the process. a lot of people don't have the opportunity to go to such a great school, and all she can do is bitch, bitch, bitch. suck it the freak up and go somewhere that will make you happier. CNU, ODU, NOVA?

    maybe what she's saying "hurts and stings". she's creating/perpetuating a stereotype about a school based on her negative experiences. i'm sure the ladies at hollins would be offended if they read this. it goes both ways.

  19. Possibly creepy.... says:
    Fri, 27th Feb 20094:22 am 

    But don't we all secretly love the google search? lol (And yes the bitter truth that only comes out with anonyminity through the internet?) sigh.

    I'm sorry, but this is just crap… I'm sure that she's really just a 'poor college student.' Although she uses crap like this to her advantage apparently (& frequently) in pursue of a career path. wake up people…

    She was a freakin intern for NonSociety last month until she pissed off everyone because she was blogging shit about them… talk about spreading gossip!

    ha, funny how that always seems to happen!

    http://rebloggingnonsociety.blogspot.com/2009/02/…

    http://gawker.com/5140574/julia-allison-teaches-i…

    …oh well, at least she's free stuff in the meantime! Maybe she is really smart afterall!

  20. Hmm... says:
    Fri, 27th Feb 20094:41 am 

    So I'm curious as to why my recent comment has been awaiting moderation for like 20 minutes, when I haven't said anything out of line, other than possibly hurting someone's feelings a bit.

    Our comments on political blogs get more heated than this…

    I've never had to wait for CC to "moderate" our posts, it makes me wonder… and kind of sad.

  21. Aw says:
    Fri, 27th Feb 20094:46 am 

    I guess my comment didn't make the cut… maybe because it had an outside link? That's odd CC, very odd.

    Well all I was saying was that its weird that this girl was an intern for nonsociety, (i'll post no links!) and was blogging negative things about them and pissed her bosses off… Thats quite hypocritical to me. And explains our points here. Its not what it appears to be.

    Sorry if that offends anyone, I'm not making anything up, just saying. I dont feel sorry for her. She likes blogging and getting attention (and getting free stuff in the process!) is all.

    Whatever, I quit. This has lowered my opinion of some CC bloggers… :(

  22. Jes says:
    Fri, 27th Feb 20098:55 am 

    Hmm… it kinda does make you wonder why someone would post a complete lie about someone on the internet? Most people wouldnt do that (unless they had a personal vendetta against someone?)

    I hate to warm another seat on the mean bus, but I pretty much agree with the general consensus here…

  23. Jessica says:
    Fri, 27th Feb 200910:25 am 

    Aghh stop bitching already! I don't think anyone is learning anything from you except how to feel sorry for themselves.

  24. Jes says:
    Fri, 27th Feb 200910:57 am 

    "DEEEE-FENSE!"

    Ha, this is much like a high school basketball game! But with headbands, tumblr & bananas!

    this 'ish is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s* :)

  25. Charlsie - Hollins says:
    Fri, 27th Feb 200911:55 am 

    You all got me. I'm an asshole.

  26. Charlsie - Hollins University says:
    Fri, 27th Feb 20091:19 pm 

    I can’t help but hilariously laught over the Julia Allison/NonSociety internship blog I created over at Tumblr for the month of January. In that blog, I wrote every day accounts of what I did as an intern – nothing bad. Julia Allison got pissed off about it because all she had me do for the majority of my internship was fetch her headbands, instead of doing real work. She has a slew of reblogging websites about her (being the #3 most hated person on the internet, afterall), they picked it up, and featured it – making her angry. However, I never said anything negative about them, and you would have to read what I wrote to judge that in the first place (but you don’t because the month of January is over and the blog is gone). In fact, I was VERY fond of Julia and crew.

    Also, to say that I get free stuff (I don’t get free stuff – that was Julia Allison, my boss, not me) and saying that I get attention (what attention do I get? comments on here do not count) is inaccurate and completely false. I have never received “free stuff” by getting “attention.”

    To bring up Julia Allison and the NonSociety internship is a big step, and makes me wonder why you felt so obliged to search my name to see what comes up. Even more bizarre, I cannot fathom why you would share points about an internship that you did not know anything about, read anything about, or even understood in the first place.

    People can write their opinions about my piece or me, but when you simply get your facts wrong and say things about me that are not true, whatsoever, you are not only being disrespectful for no real reason (seriously – why do you feel like you have to go post something that is a lie on a blog about someone you haven’t met?), but you are showing that you have no critical criticism or tact in leaving a comment.

    To everyone else, this is my story. And to see you call me bitchy, rude, judgmental, and whiny over and over again (on the internet, nonetheless) proves my point about this piece. None of you actually know me, and instead of commenting about gossip at your school or answering the questions I posed after sharing my experience, you decide to attack me. Also, everything I have written about has happened in previous school years (not my recent one), so it has gotten better and I do have a right as a student to stay right where I am.

  27. Becca-Clarion says:
    Fri, 27th Feb 20091:16 pm 

    Okay, I wasn't going to comment, but after the numerous comments about " just transfer!" I'm going to. Some people cannot transfer, they don't have the money to afford a school in a different state, especially if you're someone like me who has a major that's not exactly strong in many places. Seriously, gossip sucks, and sometimes you just need to look people in the face and tell them to shove it, transferring because of that experience doesn't help much either…

    go you Charlsie!!!

  28. Marney says:
    Thu, 5th Mar 20098:12 pm 

    Hey Charslie

    I am actually going to answer some of the questions posted on your article. I come from a smaller faculty in my university, where everybody knows everybody. Needless to say gossip ensues, and I, like everyone in the history of all time, have been the victim many a time.

    I always find those who gossip, are those who don't you. So the best strategy is to kill people with kindness. Don't let the fact that so-and-so said you were a mean person stop you from getting to know the REAL you. Its worked for me everytime.

    Also you can personally never stop gossip, you can only stop gossiping. I found it very interesting in your article bashing gossipers you mention that you "on more than one occasion I have heard of students going to speak with the Dean of Students or head of Residence Life, only to come out with gossip". Statements that start with "I heard" tend to propagate the gossip rhetoric. Which I am sure you can agree with.

    Peace and Love!

  29. Chanel says:
    Tue, 10th Mar 20097:50 pm 

    Ok Charlsie! You say that we are judging you, by not even knowing you, and you don't know any of us either…Which I find Hilarious….Hypocritical??? Pshh….let people get to know you….. People want to hear more about a WONDERFUL day you had or something positive!

    Constructive Criticism: Why not tell us about something you are thankful for this week without sarcasm, idiocracy, or negativity. READY GO!

  30. Laughing Forever Now says:
    Thu, 12th Mar 20099:23 am 

    Seriously, cupcake… Wow. You are just a little fun ball of joy, aren't you. It makes me wonder how many friends you have at Hollins… Let's see…. Can you count them out for us, please?

  31. Hu says:
    Tue, 1st Jun 20102:48 pm 

    Well, I'm actually going to hollins this fall and when I first found the school junior year of high school I wondered how it could be true that an all girls school could be so close and senior year I kinda let myself be duped "well sure there's girls who are catty but I'll just stay away from them". I'm probably going to find you on fb because frankly, I'm worried I made the wrong choice of college now

  32. Charlsie - Hollins U says:
    Tue, 1st Jun 20105:10 pm 

    Hu … contact me on Facebook or my personal email is cniemiec@hollins.edu. I just graduated and I have a lot to say about Hollins — good and bad.

  33. Majorshadow says:
    Mon, 6th Sep 201011:22 am 

    Hold your head high…click on or visit URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFmhEJB1_QA

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