To My Lovely Neighbors (aka the frat next-door):

Y’all are great neighbors, you really are. I enjoy your Solo-cup adorned front lawn. I love your broken air conditioner sitting out back. I enjoy your creative use of Keystones as decorations. But we really must talk about your noise levels.

Now, I’m a college kid too and I also quite enjoy partying from time to time. Thursday night? Yes. Friday night? Sure. Saturday night? Count me in. Monday night at 4am? Not so much.

You guys seem to want to party at all hours, everyday. I might be OK with that if there weren’t all those other problems. I mean, you guys are loud all. the. time. Like that weekend you had music blasting for 72 hours in a row – I’m pretty positive you just let your speakers run for 3 days straight. 3am Wednesday night listening to The Beach Boys? I don’t think you’re having a rager… And, umm, it’s about negative 6 degrees out…do you really find The Beach Boys appropriate?

And what are you thinking playing “Let’s Get It On” at a speaker-breaking volume level? I don’t think any of you are actually getting it on. In fact, I’m pretty sure this would send any girl running, even a highly intoxicated one. So why oh why must the music be on? Doesn’t it annoy you?

I know it annoys me. I also know I have a test in the morning. Read More »

Tonight’s episode of The City was all about celebrating the holidays with the people you love… by kicking them out of your apartment.

First Olivia gives Nevan the boot (kindly…or as kindly as she is able to communicate), and then Adam kicks Jay to the curb.

What a way to start the new year, eh?

And, speaking of new years, looks like Erin isn’t making any resolutions this time around. She seems to be perfectly content effing guys over left and right. The girl changes her mind about guys more often than I change the channel during an MTV commercial break. And those are long! I mean, my god, woman! She is the poster child for not missing something until it’s gone. Or for taking advantage of guys until she messes it up so much they dump her. Or for being a generally annoying person. You get the idea. Read More »

Facebook owns all of us. Seriously. We’re effed.

Is your boyfriend making you fat?

Looks like someone really had somewhere to be…

So, where do all our Presidents rank?

The 10 Corniest Rom-Com movie lines ever.

Who steals from Lance Armstrong?

Barbie hits Fashion Week.

Heal your ailing feet.

What do dudes think about when they fantasize?

Remember the 13 year old dad? Well, there could be a different (15 year old) daddy…

There’s no implants in boxing!

Express has some really cute shiz right now. Get there.

I am a Cosmo devotee. Have been since I started stealing my mom’s when I was twelve. I am amazed monthly by the hair, the witty captions, and their never ending innovation of synonyms for the word penis. Many of my friends, acquaintances, relatives and sisters swear by Cosmo as their Bible (and for the most part I do too). But there are some times (well…many times) when Cosmo’s take on real world situations is – in a word – whack.

I will still accept their declarations of lip gloss superiority like they were handed down from the divine, but when it comes to their interpretation of all things men (or at least all things greatly generalized and stereotyped), I think I’ll be reading with a grain of salt handy.

And I’ll pass that grain onto you. With every passing month and, in turn, every new “Secret Sex Fantasy Guys Won’t Tell You!” revealed, I will be here to break it all down for you. I will find the truth buried deep between the unsafe sex positions and “things he secretly loves you for,” so you don’t end up with a stiff neck, an angry boyfriend or some seriously embarrassing sexcapades.]

In this March’s “The New Attitude That Drives Men Wild,” Molly Fahner attempts to dissect the fine art of playing hard to get. Oh, you didn’t see that coming from the title? Don’t worry, me either. I like to reflect on the hidden meanings of the cover story articles, because they are so very often not what you think they’ll be (aside from the “596 Sex Tips We Publish Every Month”).

I imagined that Cosmo had discovered a rare personality trait that those girls who’ve consistently been in serious relationships their whole lives possess. Perhaps the Cosmo labs had created a mutated DNA strain that lured smart, funny and successful hotties from miles away. I at least hoped that the article would not use Madonna as an example of who to emulate when browsing for a guy. Read More »

College brings a whole lot of new experiences, new lessons and new people. But it seems that no matter what school you go to, there are same characters on every campus:

The Unofficial

Have you noticed that guy who trails three feet away from the girl who has a steady boyfriend? Or that girl who silently stalks the team player? Yup, they are The Unofficial.

The Unofficial is the guy or girl who is not the main entrée of the relationship. He or she is the appetizer before the main entrée… or maybe just the wilted salad. They are the one that someone turns to in order to curb their hunger before the main relationship meal.

The unofficial is whispered about by his/her friends and acquaintances. He/she is not appreciated for intelligence or personality; they are more often likened to slabs of meat waiting to be used.

The Unofficial is usually a promiscuous guy or girl who seeks attention from the opposite sex. There are no limits to their seduction tactics. The target is always someone in a relationship and the ultimate goal is to steal the title. Unfortunately, all they get is a little physical attention and a whole lotta false hope. Read More »

Remember Michael Jackson? Yeah, the guy behind Thriller, the Free Willy Song and all those weird molestation charges. What ever happened to him?

He went broke, that’s what. And now the bank will be auctioning off over 2,000 of his belongings at his famous estate, Neverland Ranch. Auction items range from his jeweled white glove to the elaborate front gates of the ranch. Since his little amusement park of a house went into foreclosure, the entire property will be auctioned as well as all of Jackson’s belongings inside the house.

This is great news for everyone who has every wanted a piece of super creepy pop culture history! Just imagine what is hidden behind those gates. (Editor’s Note: Besides all the young children.) Here’s a list of things we think will be a part of the MJ auction. Read More »

[I want it, I need it, I can't live without it. There are so many things on store shelves and racks right now that we want to take home and hang in our closets. Things that are so cute, everyone should know about them. We'll share 'em with you here (because we're that nice), but as far as actually getting them goes....well, you're on your own with that one.]

With Spring around the corner, it’s almost time to shove those bulky jackets and sweaters back into that Tupperware box under your bed where they belong. All that new extra room in your closet also means it’s time to stock up on some new essentials. When the time is right, opt for my current go-to source of warmth: the cardigan. It is comfortable, versatile and cozy for those cooler nights, yet does not make you look like a bum, which your old high school and college sweatshirts tend to do. Read More »

[Life isn’t black and white. As much as we wish we simply loved or hated things, there is often that whole annoying gray area in the middle. Like, we hate how Walmart treats its employees…but we love the low prices! Or, we love how that boy makes us laugh….but we hate that he has no motivation in life. Damn you, gray area; you make decision-making that much more complicated!

There are so many difficult choices in life (do we love or hate high heels??), so we thought we’d sort through ‘em right here. Every week we will discuss another issue we are torn up about. Let us know your thoughts in the comments section!]

I’ll admit, I have a love/hate relationship with the Frat Boy. Although I have dated one in the past, my conflicting opinions have nothing to do with him specifically, but more to Frat Boys in general. For some reason I’m completely drawn to them and their collar popping ways, but somehow repelled at the same time. I’m still unsure where I stand at the end of the day, so let me lay out the pros and cons of the archetypal frat boy: Read More »

Happy Presidents Day, everyone!

Nothing says “let’s honor all those amazing people who have led our country” quite like a day off of class to nurse the massive hangover you got from Sunday Funday. It’s OK, though; we all know you were drinking in honor of Lincoln, Washington and to forget our current economic mess courtesy of George W. Bush.

So, how are you going to spend this spledid holiday? Discussing the great achievements of our fearless leaders? Educating youngsters on the importance of the democracy? Buying a mattress?

Since you have the day off, we thought we’d pass along a few fun activities to get you through the day. (Yeah, because you really need advice on how to spend a day with nothing to do.)  These things don’t really have much to do with Presidents or history, but we’re sure they were somehow made possible by the big guys in the White House. Read More »

As a fitness blogger, there is one question I hear more than any other: “How do I get flat abs?”

People think by doing 100 crunches every night will give them a six pack when it’s actually almost the opposite. With Spring Break coming up, you may or may not be half way there to your ideal bikini body. Lucky for you, I’m sharing the best kept secrets when it comes to getting amazing abs in no time at all.

The most important thing to fix when trying to get flat abs is your diet. Start making smart choices by limiting the number of carbs you eat. Swap refined white carby foods like white rice or white bread for whole grains. Sprouted grain bread, like Ezekial, is amazingly filling and delicious. Your body actually digests this minimally processed food like a vegetable. To reduce bloating and water retention, limit sodium intake to no more than double the amount of calories per serving (i.e. If it has 100 calories, the sodium should not exceed 200 grams). Recently I was amazed at how this simple salt reduction made me simply feel skinnier. Rather than counting your calories, try and stick to real foods like vegetables, fruits, and lean protein. If you have a layer of fat over your abdominal muscles, the hard work spent doing crunches will never be appreciated. Read More »