Overheard: This IS My Inside Voice! (Updated!)

[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!

By John

Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send 'em over!.]

“So I was going to go to the package store, and then I thought, hey, you know what, Fruit by the Foot. That ever happen to you?”

“It’s been a hairy week. Pubic hair, mostly.”

“I’m furious! This is terrible! The whole place smells like… boys! I’m gonna have to make, like, 20 bags of popcorn to get the stink out!”

(A teacher.)

“I love all my students. They’re just the cutest little puppies. Now, my puppies, let’s talk about sex.”

“I’d go to church if they had, like, communion eclairs or something. Or communion steak.”

“Or communion free money.”

“… and I was like, oh, my God, my nephew is eight years old and he’s wearing a huge hat with a shark fin on it. He’s one of those kids.”

“We should get more interns. They’re like human-shaped trash disposals.”

“Go to sleep, b****! Die, motherf***er, die! Time’s up b****, close your eyes!”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“Oh. I, uh, I guess you haven’t heard that song.”

“No.”

And this gem, thanks to a CC reader:

“It’s a benefit concert about alcohol awareness.”

“But I AM aware!”