Bad Kisser – Dealbreaker?

March 4, 2009 - 12:00 pm By Lauren - University of Michigan

06kiss2_span.jpgI’ve had quite a few first kisses.

They are always exciting and romantic and make me weak in the knees. Well, the ones with people I like, at least. I’m not counting those drunken makeout sessions with some creeper who attacks you out of nowhere while you’re enjoying a night out with the girls.

The first kiss is a pivotal moment in any relationship. After waiting forever (be it weeks, days, minutes…), wondering if he/she wants to kiss you as much as you want to kiss him/her, your lips finally meet and it’s all fireworks and passionate background music.

….Or slobbering sounds and teeth knocking into eachother.

Yeah, we may all want that romantic first kiss scene that we’ve seen in all our favorite movies (Slumdog Millionaire) and TV shows (Full House…with the “ooooo”s coming from the fake live audience), but there are a lot of really bad kissers out there. And somehow we keep finding them.

The question is: is a bad kiss enough to turn you off completely? Does a little (ok, a lot of) drool cancel out the great conversation, cute eyes and fact that he actually brought you flowers? Or is that something that can be worked on?

7 Comments   Posted in Advice, Relationships
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7 Comments on "Bad Kisser – Dealbreaker?"

  1. Anon says:
    Wed, 4th Mar 200912:23 pm 

    I’m a 20-yr old virgin without a lot of relationship experience but more than my share of random makeout sessions and they’ve pretty much turned me off making out. I’ve even straight up told people to let me show them what I like because all I want is a good kiss damnit! Do couples have to work on their m/o style, or am I the bad kisser here?

  2. rach says:
    Wed, 4th Mar 20091:09 pm 

    everyone has their own style of kissing so its whether or not you mesh with the person you chose to kiss. my current bf wasnt that great when we started dating but after a couple weeks of hot make outs we have a better idea of what the other person wants. it def takes a little time in some cases. i dont think its that weird. esp if you get used to one person and the next person you kiss is totally different.

  3. Lauren, University of Michigan says:
    Wed, 4th Mar 20091:16 pm 

    I dont even think you need to discuss it with most people. I think two people’s styles end up coming together to create a super kiss. Although some people probably do have to be coached…i’ve just never had to actually do that.

  4. Jen says:
    Wed, 4th Mar 20091:54 pm 

    Before my boyfriend, I was “casually seeing” this other guy that literally would grab a hold of my bottom lip with his (at first it was kind of hot..) but then he would BITE down on it, moving his teeth back and forth and I couldn’t get my lip out… ouch. I literally had to ice my lip after we were done.

    My boyfriend and I just meshed together perfectly. I use to hate french kissing but with him, it’s just amazing. So I think it depends a little on who it is, but yet at the same time, there’s just no hope for some people.

  5. maddie says:
    Wed, 4th Mar 20092:03 pm 

    i think you have to give someone a chance. at the beginning i think both my boyfriend and i were sort of inexperienced and it was not always that great. but over time we unspokenly figured out what worked and what didn’t and now it’s wonderful. i don’t think anyone should be written off at the start for that, and if you communicate nonverbally (and even verbally at times if necessary, but be nice and polite!) you can help to mesh your styles together.

  6. Lex says:
    Thu, 5th Mar 200910:04 am 

    Oh, Jen, I’m totally feeling you. Where do guys get the idea that it’s cool to bite someone so hard that you’re walking away bruised? Literally, the last guy I kissed, the first time I kissed him I had a purple lip for a week after!

  7. Jen says:
    Thu, 5th Mar 20091:39 pm 

    Lex, I have no idea. Whoever taught them that or wherever they learned it needs to go away asap for the sake of our lips. It’s definitely not hot. I was petrified I was going to look like I was in a fight after it.

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