thegr8brownie says:
Thu, 5th Mar 20098:08 am 

i would just like to say, as a guy…

that for me porn is really not personal at all. for example, I watched one last night. I don't remeber it at all! I was only using it for the moment (im sure you can guess what moment that was)

so, I think the bottom line is, guys need visual stimulation more than women do, so we watch porn more than women do. Doesn't meen we don't still want you!

Leah - Ryerson Unive says:
Thu, 5th Mar 20098:12 am 

I don't care if guys I date watch porn as long as it doesn't affect our own sex life. I've watched porn with a guy I dated (and for jokes for girlfriends haha!) and I see no harm in it.

The way I see it if it fills in the time that you aren't having sex isn't it better than them cheating on you?

Sam says:
Thu, 5th Mar 20098:33 am 

I completely agree with Leah. I don't care at all if my boyfriend watches it.. I just wouldn't want it to get the point where it interferes with our relationship. I'm not insecure about it at all. I know who he's coming home to at night.

Triufelis says:
Thu, 5th Mar 20098:42 am 

Well, I don't mind a guy watching porn as long as it doesn't affect me. If it's only for the "moments" than it's okay.

Gloria says:
Thu, 5th Mar 20098:45 am 

Sometimes I do get jealous, especially when the girl in question has a flatter stomach or bigger boobs or whatever.

But then I remember that it would be hypocritical of me to tell him to stop watching porn due to my insecurities because of my use of literotica and porn.

maddie says:
Thu, 5th Mar 20098:47 am 

i mean that's a personal thing that he does, it's his business. if it gets to the point of affecting your life as a couple, addiction, etc then it's the time to really do something about it. but i don't think anyone should feel insecure about it, although i don't know how i'd feel if i ever walked in on my boyfriend with some. "borrowing" his computer to check his porn stash though? kiiinda rude and creepy. how would you like it if he "borrowed" your computer to read your emails? i know it's not exactly the same thing but it's the same principle. that's his personal preference to use it and no one should have to check up on another person like that.

Angie Marie says:
Thu, 5th Mar 20099:01 am 

There is the issue of the porn industry degrading women, though. Personally, I am not ok with that…too many guys (even perfectly nice guys who genuinely mean no harm) think it is ok to "compliment" girl's bodies using innapropriate slang because they falsely assume all women want that kind of cheap admiration. I think it is sad that so many women have deluded themselves into believing that their sluttiness is some kind of "empowering" force. When you dress like some kind of porn star and then feel a rush of confidence as men turn their heads, you are not suddenly in control or in charge–you are dependent upon the simple act of those guys noticing you. As soon as they move on to the next sluttily-dressed girl, you feel insecure again. Their is a big difference between being sexy and being slutty.

Ha…I hope that makes sense and doesn't sound hyper-critical. I just have some issues with the porn industry…I think it is USING insecure young women and women who just need some quick cash…those girls get stuck in careers that are taking advantage of their sexuality. I feel so sorry for them, honestly.

Ha, but really I hope I don't sound like a stuffy old women

Robert says:
Thu, 5th Mar 20099:47 am 

As a guy, porn is there simply for the moment. 99% of the time a guy watching porn doesn't think the girl in the porn is very good looking. They are almost always fake in too many ways to be attractive, short of what act they are performing in video. It is really just an escape for that moment to get it done and move on to something more productive. Sure there are outliers: addicted to porn, effecting your relationship, obsessed with a particular actress, etc. If you make it an issue with him and you want him to stop, it will create a bigger mess between both of you. All he will do is hide it and you don't want to start that kind of behavior in a relationship. If all the guy needs is something to help him 'bang the gavel', what's the harm?

Turn it around and ask him about it. Use it as an opportunity to expand your relationship. Ask to watch it with him and/or ask him what he likes about X particular movie. You may find that he likes role play, certain positions better than others, new ones to try, or maybe a new location.

rach says:
Thu, 5th Mar 200910:05 am 

i don't mind if he watches and it helps us experiment with different things to try in bed. however if he wishes it were the pornstar he was having sex with and not me, then its an issue.

Jeffrey says:
Thu, 5th Mar 200910:32 am 

Guys are lying when they say porn doesn't affect them at all in their relationships. I'm a guy with alot of guy friends, and most of us have at one point or another fantasized about the porn girls when we have sex. It not all the time, but it does happen.

Carrie D says:
Thu, 5th Mar 200910:40 am 

Do you feel guilty when you watch porn? Can you admit it to the person you're dating? The way I see it, no amount of bullshit or white lie will cover up your own conscience when you are 100% aware of what you doing behind your gf's back.

Robin says:
Thu, 5th Mar 200911:10 am 

I don't give a shit if guys watch porn. I think it's pretty normal, and it wouldn't affect my self-esteem if a guy I was dating was watching porn. Girls read romance novels and Twilight and get off on that, why shouldn't guys get off on something they like? Go make your guy a sandwich so he isn't hungry while watching haha

maddie says:
Thu, 5th Mar 200911:20 am 

lol robin, nice

K says:
Thu, 5th Mar 200912:38 pm 

Amen to Gloria and Calrose. I love porn. I definitely don't turn to it as often (maybe once a week) but I don't have any problems with it.

The only issue for me is when he feels he needs to hide it, because if I'm into it then its a sign of a problem if he doesn't want me to know.

Calrose says:
Thu, 5th Mar 20092:06 pm 

I’ve actually watched porn before with my boyfriend and let me tell you- its pretty great! It turns both of us on soo much, and the sex is great during/after watching it.

sara says:
Thu, 5th Mar 20093:20 pm 

I have mixed opinions on porn. If the guy is single then whatever, but if he’s in a serious relationship then he should take his gf’s feelings into consideration. If she’s not okay with it there is a VERY justifiable reason. Masturbating to porn is masturbating to other naked women, and fantasizing about them. Some girls are okay with it, some are not. I wouldnt be okay with my guy jacking off at any other girl in person, let alone over some screen b/c even if it’s just for “the moment”, it is wrong and hurtful to your gf, esp if you know it makes her feel bad.

Rebecca says:
Thu, 5th Mar 20093:25 pm 

Ha…I watch porn in healthy quantities and am currently seeing someone, so it'd be pretty hypocritical of me to be jealous of him watching. Hell, we even compare notes and suggest videos to each other!

Beth says:
Thu, 5th Mar 20093:41 pm 

as a girl who watches porn, I wouldn't stop watching it if I was in a relationship (maybe slightly less), and I would be a hypocrite if I asked him to stop. Masturbation is a healthy, normal and fun thing.

Emily says:
Thu, 5th Mar 20094:02 pm 

It bothers me a lot that my boyfriend watches porn. Like a lot. I should probably just get over it, but I can't seem to.

anon says:
Thu, 5th Mar 20094:10 pm 

weiiirrrd

Ace says:
Thu, 5th Mar 20098:15 pm 

I think porn is demeaning to women. How can we say sure it’s okay to a practice in which women are treated as objects? Are you kidding me? Some of these magazines (Hustler, Playboy, Penthouse) make light of rape. Here are some picture examples: http://www.oneangrygirl.net/wackyrape.html

The link between pornography use and subsequent aggression was proven so successfully by Zillmann and Bryant that their studies cannot be replicated for fear of further harming possible research subjects (Paul, 2005).

Luckily for us, not every man who uses porn commits a rape.

But then, not every person who smokes gets lung cancer either, and you’ll notice that cigarettes come with handy warning labels all the same.

pam says:
Fri, 6th Mar 20094:34 am 

my roommate and i were actually talking about this last night. we accept the fact that all guys watch porn – it's just something they enjoy to do! i don't see anything wrong with it. the problem we have is when we're hanging out with our guy friends and they want to watch porn. sometimes we get sucked into watching a couple of hours of porn with them and for us it's just lame. i mean, half of the men in porn films are very unfortunate looking, overweight, with way too much body hair. i know the industry does it to make it seem like "hey even the ugly guys can get these hot, sexy women" but then it gives nothing for women who might be forced to watch, to be interested in. seriously, if they could just make a couple porn flicks with some decent looking men maybe it would be easier for men and women to watch porn together. but at this point, i find it a huge disappointment having to watch the stuff sometimes.

jes says:
Fri, 6th Mar 20095:00 am 

I used to be very insecure about my boyfriend watchign porn during the week when I wasn't around, but I think that was mainly because of my young age back then and my misunderstanding of what "porn is" to guys in relationships.

Over the past few years, we've discussed it a lot and I've come to see that guys really do only watch it for the visual stimulation, and that they'd never actually want to BE WITH a dirty porn star, they just need the visuals.

Since then I've watched it myself several times and I can completely understand the carnal arousal that it creates, but its absolutely devoid of any emotion whatsoever, so I dont think there's anything to worry about there.

HOWEVER- One thing I cannot stand are the "Barely legal" or voilent porn videos (that portray rape scenes, etc). Many girls are portrayed as severaly underage (and there's even a close line to kiddie porn there) that absolutely makes me sick to my stomach and so angry that people woul deven publish that shit.

However, I truly dont believe those are the ones that most guys watch, or would even get excited about. however its absolutely disgusting that things like that are on the market.

Sarah says:
Fri, 6th Mar 20099:12 am 

For those of you who have a problem with your man watching porn, I have a solution:

Make your own porn! Take naughty pictures of yourself and give them to him or videotape yourselves having sex. That way, the next time he wants to get off when you're not around, he'll just use your homemade porn for "visual stimulation." I did this with my ex (not because I had issues with him watching porn, but because it was fun), and it worked wonders. He virtually stopped using porn to jack off and instead watched the videos we made.

There you go; problem solved.

brooklynbabe347 says:
Sat, 7th Mar 20095:10 am 

While I'd rather not make porn of myself (maybe I'll mature up a little in the future, who knows), I have no problem if my guy wanted to watch porn. Again, as long as it obviously doesn't disrupt the routine of our daily lives/not around the kids/yadda yadda…

…'Cause, y'know, I like to look at a little porn myself. Of the same sex, even! =P

Jenny says:
Sat, 7th Mar 20096:51 am 

My boyfriend can watch all the porn he wants as long as I don't know about it. I'm very insecure about my body and I don't want to know what I'm up against.

I do what Sarah suggested and it works. I am not at all shy when it comes to making my own porn with my boyfriend (or even making it by myself). He has his visual stimulation, and I have peace of mind knowing he's hot for me. Problem solved.

Amber says:
Sat, 7th Mar 200910:20 am 

I am not comfortable with porn and as another user stated, it's a respect issue in terms of my preferences. I don't care if single guys watch it or think all porn watchers are immoral, but I am not comfortable with him watching it, and he respects my boundaries. My philosophy is, "My body is for your eyes only, so your eyes are for my body only." To me, if a man watches porn, it's just as fair for his gf to show her body off to other men.

Benazir says:
Sat, 7th Mar 200912:52 pm 

I don't care that my boyfriend watches porn, but if he started going on about this porn model or what this girl in a porno did and comparing, or watching porn while I'm there.. that's where it would bother me, other than that I don't care I watch porn too!

La says:
Sat, 7th Mar 20099:27 pm 

i have watched porn with my long-term boyfriend, and yes, it can be an enjoyable experience.

many women watch porn. i know plenty of my girl friends who have admitted to doing it, whether it be out of plain curiosity or because she enjoys watching it. women have continually been found in studies to be aroused by pornographic images – there is nothing wrong with allowing yourself to be sexually stimulated by watching naked people do their thang. they say that the brain is the strongest sex organ, so why not use it?

Engineer says:
Mon, 9th Mar 20094:34 am 

You do realize, if you have a messy breakup all that home made porn ends up on the internet

Engineer says:
Mon, 9th Mar 20094:37 am 

I personally dont enjoy porn but I have to look at it when I get horny so I can get off and then concentrate on other things.

Tom S. says:
Mon, 9th Mar 200911:16 am 

Hey, guys just need to rub ‘em out more often than girls do (for the most part). Pornography is simply a masturbatory aid, and nothing more. At leas that’s certainly how how I see it…

Niamh says:
Sun, 15th Mar 20091:51 pm 

Coming from a woman's perspective. I actually watch porn myself, and i don't care if my bf/partner watches it, so long as he doesn't do it all the time. Personally I wold find it awkward and strange to watch it with a partner.

Erika says:
Sun, 15th Mar 20092:51 pm 

From a girl:

Doesn't bother me when a guy does it. It would only bother me if it was creating problems in his life (addiction sort of thing).

cheers,

Erika from http://www.awakeningfromthedream.blogspot.com (blog about seduction and spirituality)

debbie says:
Sun, 15th Mar 20094:43 pm 

I absolutely love watching porn & I hope always will. It makes me feel so incredibly sexy & my boyfriends have all found my love of porn a huge turn on. Also, it makes me more adventurous.

Marisse says:
Mon, 16th Mar 200910:44 am 

I am 18 years old, and trust me, if my life had not suddenly gone into a positive direction, I would probably resort to doing porn–anything for money. Growing up being abused, sexually, and physically, by other people is the same sort of behavior that becomes portrayed in porn films. Most female porn stars for that matter have been abused, and/or have no one else or nothing else to turn to. It is generally not a job that they find comforting. It just pays the bills. And to degrade women in such a matter is a terrible lesson for all the young children out there because it shows that it is okay for men to treat women like that, and it shows that it is okay for women to be treated like that. If porn did not exploit many young women and degrade them, that would be different. But no matter what one may argue, porn is a very exploitative industry. And it is not like men are being treated the same in the porn industry. The men are almost always seen in positions of power and assertiveness, and men and women are not portrayed equally or fairly in the industry. But the bottom line is that many other women, if they had the option, would most certainly choose another job, and to get pleasure off of their acts, is disgusting and wrong.

Ducky says:
Tue, 17th Mar 20098:09 am 

Porn has ruined my relationship with my boyfriend of three years. He always told me that he didnt watch porn, and then when we moved in together i found tones of it! EVERYWHERE!!! even in the kitchen cabinets. turn out he's an addict. It has made me feel useless, ugly, and has given me serious trust issues. porn is okay as long as everyone involved is 100% okay with it and is 100% honest. but it has the potential to ruin lives.

Emotional says:
Sat, 21st Mar 20097:39 pm 

I think guys watching porn is a form of cheating even if it was just for the "moment". Especially if your girlfriend as you to stop watching it and you do it behind her back. It is just disrespectful and inconsiderate of how she feels. What does it mean if you asked your boyfriend to watch it with you and he doesn't want to, but will watch it by himself? I don't even understand that at all! If your girlfriend is insecure and you KNOW that why put her through the agony of thinking whether or not he is fantizing about the chick in the video when you two are doing it. He could say he isn't how do you know if he is lying or not. So I think it should be avoided completely by you two just respecting each other and controlling it. Especially if your girlfriend knows she does it enough for you not to have a reason to watch it in the first place.

duder says:
Sun, 5th Apr 20096:56 pm 

Porn has prompted me to be interested in some acts my lady isn't cool with. That sucks. It makes it seem like certain acts are more common than they are…

Ben says:
Fri, 17th Apr 200910:04 am 

I get tired of the assumption by some women that all men are into porn, it's not true. I'm 28yo, with a perfectly healthy sex drive, have a girlfriend and don't use porn. I'm not prudish about porn, it just doesn't turn me on – it's so obvious! BAM! and straight into the action, no mystery… no build-up. I get more turned on looking at beautifully dressed women and imagining what they'd look like naked… but that's just me!

Calixtus says:
Fri, 17th Apr 20091:04 pm 

Hi, I will tell you this now, I DON’T watch porn. I am a 22 year old male, and I never knew about porn, until I think about 14, because my entire sex-crazed class kept talking about things which made no sense to me, but seemed to be so appealing; “ejaculation, sperm, semen, pussy…blah blah” everything which I had no idea of. I didn’t know what girls had at their crotch, because I didn’t care, didn’t bother to analyze their anatomy. It follows then, that I was not too concerned with my own anatomy too. I was a rather late developer also, because I could only produce sperm when I was turning 15. So, you see, you have to understand that I find it a little demeaning that guys are typified like this, in fact in ANY manner. We are INDIVIDUALS; some guys appear more feminine by social mores, yet their preference is towards girls…are we to condemn them as perversions of nature, i.e. gays? In fact I know of two guys, or more than I can recall at this immediate moment, who do not masturbate or watch porn. Given that they are only 14 or 16, but that is saying something don’t you think?

So don’t say things that seem to suggest men are all sexually obsessed animals, that are only motivated or driven on a sexual basis. I could easily reflect back by typifying that all women are insecure, stuck-up, and definitely, seemingly, inferior to men in nearly every perceivable way, that merits our collective admiration. Tell me, of NEARLY EVERY single invention that has been of major significance to the progress of Mankind, especially technologically, has it not been the work and devotion of human males? And EVEN WORSE, of every major event, events that have been the turning points of whole civilisations, undoubtedly such events, be it the conquests or assimilation of weaker cultures…it is almost an utter monopoly by conquerors, not conqueresses. Yet do you see people like me suggesting that the many incidents throughout history that seem to imply women’s inferiority, in the two most prominent domains of the intellect and strength, and through that postulate women’s insignificance, relative redundance, except to continue the line of the species? Of course not, that will be absolutely repulsive.

In fact, if I were to rely solely on my immediate, “subjective” perceptions of the people I have the fortune to meet in person, I will have to say that most girls seem to show a maturity that I would associate with a certain fundamental sense of intellect, something that many boys here unfortunately lack. Yet even I am not foolhardy enough to relate this on a universal scale, something which every person out there has no qualms about doing. If you would restrict it to the domains of your culture, instead of applying inclusive terms like “all”, “every”, it would be more forgivable.

I know why though, this is not reflective of us, the entire collective, throughout history, and even now. It has nothing to do with a difference in intelligence or ability between man and woman, but it is chiefly because men are more dominating than women, relatively, i.e. they got more “energy”. It is just that men and women choose to follow their inclinations, i.e. their “nature”, and women being comparatively docile, or to be more politically-correct, less aggressive, have less incentive for pursuits that would demand and risk more than the safety of a comfortable, simple life. It is basically a question of productive capacity. Would you expect a 30kg boy to complete a task that requires the strength of a full-grown man? Men do have more drive, why do you think they have the energy to perform better in sports, and the common association between men and sex.

Kim says:
Fri, 24th Apr 20095:04 pm 

What if you find underage porn that says 10-11-12 year olds in the title?

Paige says:
Thu, 7th May 200910:30 am 

Not too long ago I went on my boyfriends computer at work and started to type something in the address bar, and youtube/ big ass ect.. started coming up it honestly hurt me real bad cause if I see him check out another female he knows it hurts me. I mean why would you do that if your with your girl and you love her? And if he knew just checking a girl out hurt me how could he stare into the computer watching girls shakin there ass and all that shit? It makes me feel like i'm nothing since what he was tyong in to look up was big ass and latin ass.. I'm half and half.. white and mexican so it makes me feel like he needs a 100% mexican w/ a big ass.. And I asked him straight up how much has he looked up that shit he said, two times.. so i went to his histor on youtube and there were like a year or two worth of nothing but the same videos wached we've been together 8 months now and it showed the whole time we've been together at least 2 times a month consecutive videos… I mean it hurt then to add a lie like only looking it two times when there were way more than that! How would u feel??

gw says:
Tue, 2nd Jun 20091:29 pm 

Attention ladies: A real guy here!

Face it, porn makes guys horny. Instead of bashing us for it, take advantage of it! Guys do not watch porn because they think lowly of women, or want to control them. We just have very strong sex drives, and we need it satisfied in some way. We are also curious because for a lot of us, sex, and womens bodies, have been hidden from us, and we have often been denied access. Remember, women can get sex at any time, any where, with almost any man (or woman, if you swing that way). Men have to hunt, plan, plead, even pay or beg for it. Remember, most guys did not grow up with the same messages about sex that most women did. Most men, unless raised with a strict religious dogma, were not taught much of anything beyond the mechanics of sex. Women are usually taught to keep the legs locked until they find real love or marry.

For some of us, if we can't get what we need from our GF or wives, we mave to live out our fantasies with the porn. We sometimes want the raw, gritty sex. We don't always want the emotional side of it, but we want it with our SO. And, if you don't give it to us some of the time, porn is the best way to live out what we would like to do without cheating. Most guys do not want phony, siliconed fakes that look like models. Many of us want the slightly chubby, not beautiful but cute, affectionate girl next door. WE would also love it if women didn't get so insecure about porn. What would drive us wild is if our women would join in on the fun.

Sometimes, we are curious to see what other women out there will do sexually. We get that with porn. With average people putting up videos or pictures of themselves on the web, we can see ordinary people doing what we would like to do with YOU!

gw says:
Tue, 2nd Jun 20091:35 pm 

One more thing, ladies, It's probably second nature for women to compare themselves against other women. Most of my women friends tell me this, BTW. But, guess what? There's no reason for women to feel insecure about your guy looking at porn because we do not compare your looks to other women. We get off on watching you react to the sex.

gw says:
Tue, 2nd Jun 20091:49 pm 

Paige, I think your serious insecurities about your BF looking at big latin ass, or whatever, says more about you, and some unresolved issue you may have about your mixed race status.Has he left you? Has he cheated on you? Probably not! he just has a thing for Latinas with big asses, that's all! Just shake some of your up and he'll stay happy!

And, one more thing before I get outta here: Everybody: Some of you somehow assume that all porn degrades women, has violence, exploits children, or some other ugly thing. Most of it does not. Not all men are stimulated by the same things. Me? as in real life, I prefer somewhat chubby women with large breasts. Just being honest here. But, I also want an open personality, a woman who shows her feelings, and is very affectionate, and is very easy-going.. And, I like it when she talks dirty. That's the biggest turn-on! I don't want no teenage queen!

Amber says:
Fri, 5th Jun 20097:50 pm 

I cannot stand guys watching porn. It makes me way insecure. My boyfriend and I have a very stong relationship but in the past week he's broken two promises saying he would stop watching porn. Not even because I made him! I did however tell him how much it hurt. When he does it, it makes me feel so unwanted, like I don't satisfy him enough. I hate this feeling. And I know he's upset for hurting me, but I'm telling him he needs to stop tomorrow. I can't live like this. :/ Anyway, guys shouldn't do this if they're in a relationship.

Bubba says:
Sat, 6th Jun 20091:20 am 

Blowings me load on the screen right now…mmmm

gw says:
Mon, 8th Jun 20095:37 am 

Amber,

It's wrong for women to make men stop watching porn. It just isn't going to happen. What you are actually doing is forcing your views on him and attempting to control him. That makes for a bad relationship right there! Please remember that your guy watching porn has absolutely nothing to do with you. Nothing! The difference between men and women is that we do not all watch porn because we aren't happy with what we've got. Why can't you watch it with him? I'm sure he'd like it if you two got something going as a result of watching it together. And, how do you know he doesn't get a bit insecure about the men on those pornos? After all, they do manage to find larger than average guys who seem to keep it up for much longer than most mortal men!

Perhaps your hangup about porn stems from a religious upbringing, or an earlier incident that happened in your life. If there is, have you told your boyfriend?

Random Dweeb says:
Tue, 9th Jun 200911:40 am 

responding to Calixtus’s comment of “So don’t say things that seem to suggest men are all sexually obsessed animals, that are only motivated or driven on a sexual basis. I could easily reflect back by typifying that all women are insecure, stuck-up, and definitely, seemingly, inferior to men in nearly every perceivable way, that merits our collective admiration. Tell me, of NEARLY EVERY single invention that has been of major significance to the progress of Mankind, especially technologically, has it not been the work and devotion of human males? And EVEN WORSE, of every major event, events that have been the turning points of whole civilisations, undoubtedly such events, be it the conquests or assimilation of weaker cultures…it is almost an utter monopoly by conquerors, not conqueresses. Yet do you see people like me suggesting that the many incidents throughout history that seem to imply women’s inferiority, in the two most prominent domains of the intellect and strength, and through that postulate women’s insignificance, relative redundance, except to continue the line of the species? Of course not, that will be absolutely repulsive.”

Ummm, just because you personally may not continually infer this doesnt mean other guys don’t… Heck there’s this one engineering teacher at our school who seriously believes that women cannot handle engineering, and discourages them from taking his class. Just because a couple of us think that sexism is absurb and repulsive doesn’t mean everyone does. and just the use of your language there….. is quite repulsive in itself. “conquests or assimilation of weaker cultures”?! first of all… there is no stronger or weaker culture…. only different cultures. srsly where are you getting this? Not only that, YOU may consider the rise and fall of certain civilizations to be major events, but that doesn’t mean they are significent to everyone, NOT to mention how biased the interpretation of history is all around the world. Hell, history has been written by MEN throughout history. Don’t you think you are taking up this bias by refusing to read in between the lines and study the few blatant examples of females’ amazing ability, such as Queen Elizabeth II, Catherine the Great, countless shamans of the native americans, etc etc.? Just because MEN did not make much note of women does not mean they were not there and were not important in their own way.

but perhaps the part i found to be most insulting… “I know why though, this is not reflective of us, the entire collective, throughout history, and even now. It has nothing to do with a difference in intelligence or ability between man and woman, but it is chiefly because men are more dominating than women, relatively, i.e. they got more “energy”. It is just that men and women choose to follow their inclinations, i.e. their “nature”, and women being comparatively docile, or to be more politically-correct, less aggressive, have less incentive for pursuits that would demand and risk more than the safety of a comfortable, simple life. It is basically a question of productive capacity. Would you expect a 30kg boy to complete a task that requires the strength of a full-grown man? Men do have more drive, why do you think they have the energy to perform better in sports, and the common association between men and sex.”

I’lll grant you that the average man has more muscles than your average woman. But women are less dominating? less incentive for pursuits that would demand and risk more than the safety of a comfortable life?! that’s like saying that the reason why there are more “blacks” in jail than “whites” or “yellows” is because they are more violent. Have you even considered that MOST of the police force tend to be white? don’t you think SOME of them at least have a BIAS? the french revolution only started because some women needed bread to feed their families, and they were willing and had the guts to risk their lives for feeding their young ones. sure, they seemed all docile for most of their lives. but when there was a need, and the men were useless, the women took it upon themselves to get the job done, and indeed it was a job well done. I’m not saying that men and women are the same… but the way you divded men and women was QUITE offensive. And don’t even get me started on how hypocritical u were, starting off screaming at generalizations that people made, and making one yourself at the end. Get DOWN from your high horse and smell the roses buddy.

Random Dweeb fan says:
Sun, 14th Jun 200911:41 am 

Random Dweeb, right on! Your comments are insightful, intelligent, and neither Random nor Dweebish!

Hello, Goodbye says:
Sun, 9th Aug 20095:33 pm 

Well, as a girl, I can try to understand why a guy would like it… I mean, obviously, being able to watch millions of different women, naked, having sex in every position imaginable, doing every act you could possibly think of… sure, sounds like something guys will like a lot!

BUT… there is a double standard. Men clain it's no big deal, since it's male nature, therefore, women shouldn't compare themselves to women in porn, because they don't do it. Ok, you guys don't do it, but IT'S FEMALE NATURE TO COMPARE TO OTHER WOMEN! So we have to accept YOUR male nature but you don't want to accept our female nature? Sure, I'll deal with it, guys like porn, and I can't compare to the women in the screen. But face it guys, women compare themselves all the time, and a lot of us don't feel too well… just watch your porn, but accept us, don't try to change our insecurities.

tisha says:
Tue, 3rd Nov 200910:23 am 

ive caught my guy watching porn and at the time i was pregnant with our second son so i was already feeling unwanted and that took it to another level. he tried to blame it on me saying i dont let him touch me which was such a load..i just didnt like being messed with at 5 in the morning while i was still sleeping. it makes me feel like im not enough because just last week he watched porn while i was still here and im more then willing to have any kind of sex all he has to do is ask so i was upset. i think woman who dont like it its more about insecurities because thats how it is for me and i find myself during sex asking myself if hes thinking of someone he saw in a video of if its me he thinking of or even just the feeling of being with me.

Liz says:
Wed, 2nd Dec 200911:09 am 

I just discovered porn on my boyfriends computer, and to be honest I made a joke of it at the begining but once I got thinking…it really does hurt me. I think there are more tasteful ways to get turned on. But seriously with titles like "hot milf F*cking, with hot body and big round sexy breasts", its crude and hurtful especially to a g/f that may find it. Women and Men definately have different mind sets, woman are constantly battling with self image and confidence, how many girls out there turn anorexic because they see top celebrities skinny as a rail…So what do you think happens when the man in there life is looking at porn with titles describing hot sexy women….its like WTF. Not even that, any normal man is protective of the women in their life (g/f, sister, daughter ect…) and would hit the roof if they found out there daughter, wife, sister was a porn star having sex with random men on tv for anybody to view and masturbate too…but then again those same protective men seem to have no problem watching someone elses daughter, sister, g/f have sex on tv. So I say if your a guy watching porn, remember that that is someone elses daughter your watching, you wouldn't want your daughter doing that would you?

Also ask youself this question, if your a man and you found a porn video on your womans computer with a title like, "Tall, Sexy built man with big hard c*ck F*cking" would you want to watch that? Would YOU feel insecure that your g/f is watching a man described like the one above? or maybe even imagining him while she has sex with you, is that ok?

Im just saying guys are turning ridiculous, they are sooo not traditional like they use to be, ladies aren't treated like ladies anymore and everyone seems to be fine with it and its okay if guys look at porn because All guys do it. If you ask me, its hypocritical and a lame excuse, just because everyone is doing it doesn't make it correct.

Sam says:
Tue, 29th Dec 20096:14 am 

Hey,

Make one thing clear that most of men have very poor imagination.

This is the sole reason why they resort to porn at "peak moment" coz they cant imagine that stimulates them, and porn is the best option.

Also it is pointless to assume that guy watching porn will compare the girl in video with you.They are just watching it to fill the need and its over.

Mm says:
Sun, 17th Jan 201010:25 am 

I hate porn.

I’m not meaning in relationships where the partners are both totally okay with it, and I’m also not telling anyone not to watch it because it’s not my business to tell anyone what to do. True, I wish it didn’t exist, because it does cause so many problems when it comes to unwanted addictions and women being objectified and partners being hurt, but since it does exist then I can’t really object to it being watched when both partners are consenting, or the man is single.

I’m just here to say why I am not personally a fan of it (as the wife of a man who used to be addicted), since the topic asked for opinions.

I would never allow my husband to watch it, and to those who say that makes me controlling, my man chose not to watch it when he saw, gradually, how much it upset me. There was no control involved. At the beginning I even tried to hide how much it offended me. NOT because I feel it’s demeaning to women (even though it is) and NOT because I feel like I have to compare myself to the women in pornography, but because to me it is the same as cheating. To those who would argue that it isn’t cheating at all, my stand is that sex is something that should only be engaged in when you love your partner, and therefore not shared with multiple partners, strippers, prostitutes, the women in pornography whom you allow to help you get off, etc. When you’re in a relationship, you’re making a commitment to that person. That person should then be the only one to give you sexual pleasure/release. You love your partner, you love having sex with them, you probably also love their body even if it’s not perfect, why on earth would you need more, especially if you knew she wasn’t comfortable with it?

I know a lot of people (most people, it appears), don’t agree with that stand on relationships, which is fine, and like I said, if your partner is cool with you watching porn then I have nothing to say. Please don’t write back accusing me of trying to impose my lifestyle on you when I just wanted to add my personal convictions to a debate.

After being married to me this long my husband has come around to my point of view. He says he has no reason whatsoever to watch pornography, even when we for various reasons can’t have sex, because I am the one he loves and the only one he wants to make love with. Other women aren’t substitutes.

“Fantasy” through porn is hurtful and disloyal if your partner isn’t okay with it because, basically, by watching and fantasizing about something you’re giving into and indulging a want for it. A man who fantasizes about, for instance, having sex with porn stars, or watching lesbians have sex, or rape, etc, is more likely to do those things in real life if presented with the opportunity. The man apparently does not always want to have sex with the porn star, nor does he always imagine porn stars when he’s having sex with his own partner, but you can’t deny that he’s watching what he likes. I’m not saying every man who watches porn is going to do those things, but he’s still getting pleasure from it, even if it’s purely physical (which I don’t believe is really true). I think most men feel safe knowing that the opportunity for them to engage in certain scenarios they fantasize about will never arise, so they convince themselves they would never act on it, but really, who knows?

Even if my husband feels turned on by other women, or pornography, as I can’t deny happens to all men, it’s not okay for him to give in to it and he understands that now. I’m just not okay with my man wanting or looking at anyone but me, and that’s not me being insecure, that’s just how I think it should be. I only want my man- I don’t go around letting myself get turned on by other men to the point where I have to take off my clothes and masturbate to them. If I did I would be seriously upset with myself as well.

I don’t care how many men get on here saying “it’s not personal” or “it’s just for the moment”, I’m tired of hearing people try to justify it. I’m not telling you not to watch it so I don’t need any excuses. A lot of men seem to think that sexual release is a need, and if they can’t get it from a woman then they have no choice but to do it themselves (and if they lack imagination pornography is a must). This isn’t true! Yes, I did have a religious upbringing, or brainwashing if you must call it, and almost all of the boys I have known growing up never made a habit of masturbation or porn, never went to strip clubs or bachelor parties… and they manage to get by. They made a moral choice to save themselves for the woman they will one day fall in love with and it works for them. No man can say he “has” to watch porn.

For those who say experimenting with pornography is healthy for a relationship… I recognize the right of people to experiment with it in consenting relationships, and that with the right people there could be benefits (although I personally don’t get it). However I don’t think people should have it thrust upon them as the first or only suggestion for improving sex life. Please don’t go around telling people like me that it would do wonders for us if I watched pornography with my husband, even if you genuinely think it would. I highly doubt that getting my husband back into his lesbian fetish would really do any wonders at all. Likewise, I don’t need to look at other men to know what new positions to try or whatever it is you say is the benefit of pornography. There are plenty of ways if needed for us to enhance our sex life that don’t involve visual aid/cheating.

On a side note to those who keep saying, “All men watch porn, get used to it”, this is not true either and I find it hurtful. True, a significant amount of men do watch porn, but when you say ALL men watch it and to just get over it, it makes me feel like I can’t trust my husband when he says he doesn’t watch it anymore, or my father who never watched it, or certain male friends… when really I have every reason to trust them. I’d like not to have such a bleak view.

A Guy's View says:
Thu, 6th May 20107:42 pm 

I think alot of you gals would be surprised at how many of us guys out here actually do NOT watch the stuff.The crap is everywhere these days and seems inescapeable but for myself and most of my other friends there is little to interest level in the stuff.Besides that entire industry is becoming and for the last several years has been becoming more and more deviant,violent,sexist,racist,reverse racist,steroptyical as ever.

Don't get me wrong i love the female body..actually so much so that i hate to see it defiled like that and debased like in smut.If a guy truly cares about you he will put the bulk of his time into you and will put little (preferably non) into viewing that tripe. Cheers.

Melissa says:
Fri, 29th Apr 20113:10 am 

I caught porn on my boyfriends computer and i flipped out on him about it…some shit called pirates or something. He wouldnt listen to my feelings nor cared how bad he actually hurt me….in all honesty he would not want me looking at dicks and more.com but he can look at all the stuff he wanted….its not fair its a double standard world we live in….and men think they own it….and dont care….who they hurt in the end.

Nicole says:
Sat, 30th Apr 201111:58 pm 

I caught my boyfriend watching porn and honestly? I thought it was hilarious. (The acting is GOD-AWFUL)

I mean yes, my first thought was "oh, so this is the kind of girl he's in to? Shit! I don't look anything like that!" I've watched porn, and when I do I get turned on and think about my BOYFRIEND. Imagine it's the same for guys. I just don't understand why other women get so offended by it. You just have to realize that it's nothing personal against you he loves you and would pick you over the random slut on the computer screen any day