I Kissed a Girl

[This post is courtesy of our gal pal, Marie Claire.]

By CC Staff

It all started 10 years ago with a drunken kiss, which quickly led to drunken sex. She was the cool, pretty receptionist at the glossy music magazine where I was interning. But after a few more heated nights together that summer, my gig ended, and so did our trysts. I initially dismissed our encounters as nothing more than clumsy, alcohol-fueled experimentation — little did I know things were going to get much more complicated.

Prior to that fateful fling, I had been straight as a ruler and extremely confident about my figure. I’d always been robust (185 pounds), and proudly so. Constant attention from men — be it coy advances or vulgar catcalls — kept me feeling like a wanted woman. I was certain that my large breasts, tiny waist, and curvaceous hips were irresistible to members of the opposite sex. These assets — in any size and shape — were just so alien and intriguing to them.

Naively, I assumed that connecting with women would feel even more comfortable, like coming home. We are wired the same, after all. But losing my lesbian virginity at 22 actually stirred up insecurities and fiercely competitive body issues I hadn’t known since junior high. Given that our bodies were so similar (shapely, supple, soft), it was like having sex with a distorted mirror image of myself. Not only could I see what I looked like from a multitude of angles and positions, I also saw all of my flaws, reflected, in a sense, in hers (stretch marks, cellulite, jiggly bits). By the time we collapsed on opposite sides of the bed, I had taken enough mental notes to fill an entire spiral notebook: Keep back arched and stomach sucked in at all times; while lying down, bend legs to avoid unflattering thigh spread; whenever possible, sit upright to prevent breasts from running off in opposite directions… Scared straight by the experience, I waited another six years before kissing another woman.

Read the rest at Marie Claire.

[Photo courtesy of hollywoodgrind.com]