Masturbation Is Good for Something (Else)!

There once was a time when pornography was deemed dirty, sinful smut that would lead to hairy palms, blindness and a spot with your name on it in the hottest parts of hell. Fortunately for adult content fans everywhere, those days seem to be over. In what has to be the most sexual innuendo ridden article ever (subheadings include “Package Deals,” “Bottom Line,” and “Bang for the Buck”),  Advertising Age revealed that “satellite and cable companies are loosening their chastity belts and getting more aggressive about promoting adult content.”

Looks like we can blame our failing morals and values on our failing economy or, as AdAge.com puts it, “The economy may be in shambles, but satellite and cable companies are making whoopee.” No longer does fear outweigh money – the bills are piling up and cable companies are going in the direction of the many sad and desperate before them.

Yes, porn is about to save cable TV.

At one point Direct TV had a long-standing policy of refusing to market adult content “for obvious reasons.” That policy is out and threesomes are in. Revenue is now the motivating factor for cable operators to hop on board the porn train (Editor’s Note: weird. mental. image.), roll up their sleeves and get a little dirty, in terms of advertising of course.

Adult pay-per-views can be profitable for both cable and satellite companies, so much that “even as they raise prices on regular channels, the price of their adult fare is about to get much cheaper and more attractive.” It makes sense if you think about it in terms of bar logic (you know… the cheaper the drink, the more attractive everyone looks). The more advertising they do of PPV specials, the more the ‘curious” audience member will purchase. And in a time where people are losing jobs, homes and life savings, people are looking for anything to help them cheer up.

Why not porn?

Guess you are going to have to get over that whole porn aversion. Looks like this may be just the cure for our ailing economy.

[Image courtesy of www.jonco48.com]