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Teens Blame Rihanna For Assault
It’s hard not to pay attention to all the Rihanna news that has been circulating lately. I’ve read it in the newspapers, in the tabloids, on the gossip sites, I’ve talked about it with my friends and even my professors, and still it’s hard to wrap my head around. It’s difficult to see anyone going through a hard time, but when it’s someone you have grown to admire and respect, it becomes that much more difficult.
There have been a number of issues that have been bothering me in the last few weeks that have followed the Chris Brown/Rihanna incident. It bothers me that her picture was released and splashed all over the place, it bothers me that Chris Brown showed little remorse after the alleged attack, and it bothered me that Rihanna went back to her attacker. But most of all, it bothered me that people are now turning on Rihanna and blaming her for what happened.
In a survey conducted by the Boston Public Health Commission, it was found that almost half of all teens surveyed (age 12 to 19) think that Rihanna is to blame for the assault. Of the 200 who were polled, 46% said that Rihanna was responsible, 52% said the media was treating Chris Brown unfairly, and 44% said fighting was a normal part of any relationship.
Rihanna’s police report said that Chris brown tried to force her out of the car, and when that didn’t work he shoved her head into the car door. He then repeatedly punched her in the head while continuing to drive until he pulled over, threatened to kill her, threw her cell phone into the street and put her into a headlock until she began to lose consciousness.
Is that a normal part of any relationship? I feel like as more people begin to see this as “normal” behavior, the more acceptible it will become.
I will never understand why Rihanna went back to Chris Brown. It is one aspect of abusive relationships that will never make sense to me. It is hard for me to imagine someone who is as incredibly talented, beautiful and successful as Rihanna is, to not be able to see all the good things she deserves.
What I do know is that Rihanna should not be blamed for what happened. She should not be blamed for “destroying Chris Brown’s Career” as a significant portion of the surveyed teens suggested. She could not have done anything so terrible that anyone do that to her. I think its really important to realize this because as violence becomes more normalized as a form of punishment within a relationship, the more common its going to become.
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Gloria says:
Fri, 13th Mar 200910:13 am
its interesting that domestic abuse has become so normalized in our culture…
I think the way the media handled it was also slightly unfair, they always did mention that she provoked him by asking to see the text message, but quite honestly.
If it had been some random person instead of Chris Brown, they would get so much more shit than what chris brown is getting.
rachel says:
Fri, 13th Mar 200910:14 am
thank you for writing this, i 100% agree with you.
jes says:
Fri, 13th Mar 200910:23 am
Agreed. We want to blame Rihanna because we can't imagine that any "normal" preson would go back to their abuser.
But coming from an abusive household and watching my mom do the same thing over and over, I can tell you its definitely mentally disordered thinking.
They have such lowered self esteem or get into this cycle of violence, to where they dont think they deserve better and love the make-up after the fight. Its really quite the sickness.
People like Rihanna (and my own mother) need serious help and counseling. And Chris Brown just needs a good ass whooping and some jail time.
snarktastic says:
Fri, 13th Mar 200911:22 am
what's even more interesting is that we think we know everything that happened.
unless you've seen all the facts, you can't possibly judge the situation. so unless you were there, you can't say for sure who did what.
Gwenivere says:
Fri, 13th Mar 200911:53 am
I hate to say this but I really have to agree with snarktastic. Nobody knows what really happened in that car. I know there were things written in the police report, but my friend got mad at her boyfriend one time and falsified information in a report to make it seem worse than it really is.
I am not saying that Rhianna wasn't hit by Chris. Obviously, she was. What Chris did was inexcusable. Especially considering that he came from an abusive family. His Dad used to beat his Mom in front of him. Obviously the boy needs counciling. Because he is in fact a boy. How old is he 19, 20 at the most? How old is she, 20 maybe 21? They are young and dealing with pressures that most of us couldn't imagine.
What I am trying to say though, is that no one knows what provoked it and how many times he hit her or where she got hit or whatever. I have heard from other news "sources" that Rhianna is actually a very abusive person. That she used to beat her brothers and hit people with bottles. That she had to go to anger management for her temper. Who knows if this is correct?!?!
The point is, why are we still talking about this? We will NEVER know what really happened no matter what the outcome is. And for all the people who are up in arms about her going back to Chris, stay out of it. You do not know the facts and you are not apart of it. I am sure it is hard enough for her without people on the street yelling their opinion about what she should or shouldn't do anymore. They very obviously both have issues. But it's their issues! They have to deal with it and we shouldn't even be discussing it anymore.
Rubio says:
Fri, 13th Mar 20091:33 pm
Abuse is abuse. It doesn't matter who did it, how young they were or what actually happened.
Regardless of the circumstances – Chris Brown HIT her. In the face. No man should ever treat a woman like that. Why are we denying that he should deserve jail time for his crime?
D. says:
Fri, 13th Mar 20092:52 pm
No, we don't know what happened exactly, but he hit her. It wasn't in self-defense, so there is absolutely no justification for it whatsoever. I shudder to think about the future of the 44% of teens polled who think this is the type of normal fighting that is a part of any relationship.
anonymous says:
Fri, 13th Mar 20095:49 pm
I think it was a dumb idea to let kids do a survey about this incident it is quite obvious that they are not that educated about domestic violence and plus everyone knows that kids are stupid and I bet this survey included black people which have been defending Chris…
Gloria says:
Fri, 13th Mar 20098:26 pm
Wow. Racist much anonymous?
Clearly you're the uneducated stupid one.
kirsten says:
Sat, 14th Mar 20098:02 am
What Chris Brown did was wrong on every level. Rhianna did NOTHING wrong… there is nothing a person could do to justify a beating like she recieved. I also came from an abusive household, only my mother did not make it out alive. I pray that that does not happen to Rhianna. It makes me sick to my stomach that abuse is normal to teens now a days. A coupld of days after my mother was murdered, my sister went back to school and some kid told her that "my mother had it coming". We, as a society, really ned to teach our kids that abuse is WRONG and to get help if it happens to them… as Oprah said.. Love should not hurt!
Lucy says:
Sat, 14th Mar 20098:10 am
I agree that we really don't know the details and Chris Brown's behavior is UNEXCUSABLE.
However, I really think that Rihanna is sending a horrible message out to young girls that it's okay to be abused, since she went right back to him.
Gynessa says:
Sat, 14th Mar 20095:58 pm
Hey I just got this to say…. Chill out with the double standards for real… If Rihanna hit him as well, she is JUST as wrong. The difference is that he's a guy, and men are much stronger and shouldn't be putting their hands on women in the first place. But, hell if I was a guy and a women hit me, I'd hit her back, because she shouldn't lay a finger on me! Not to say who hit who first or whatever who cares, but that's just the way the cookie crumbles. 'Nuff said….Now can we PLEASE stop discussing this bull and move on…'cause this story is overcooked! Stick a fork in it seriously!
Sarah says:
Sun, 15th Mar 20093:44 pm
I think this entire situation is just unfortunate. Whether Rihanna provoked Chris to hit her or not, they obviously don't deserve each other. No one can claim to know exactly what happened between them, but regardless of all that; Chris shouldn't be with a woman that doesn't trust him and Rihanna shouldn't be with a man that beats her. It's obvious that they just shouldn't be together–on many levels.