The Pissed List: Spring Break Homework(?!)

[I like to think of myself as a pretty easy going gal and try not to sweat the small stuff. But sometimes (ok, maybe slightly more often) the general cluelessness, carelessness and overall stupidity of some things and or/people really gets to me. I find that venting is the most efficient way to rid myself of the stress that idiots, wrong meal orders, lack of cell phone etiquette and cheese flavored products (that don’t even contain any freaking cheese!) induce.

By Kari

So, in an attempt to avoid an ulcer or an unfortunate road rage incident, I vent to you, dear reader. Please feel free to join in and comment about anything–really, anything–that pissed. you. off. this week. Let it all hang out. I feel you.]

Long Lost Friends: You know the best friend who truly defined the term BFF for you? Well you can scribble out that last F now that you two have drifted apart. You never thought you’d see the day when it had been 2 years since your last sleepover/margarita marathon/ trip to Forever 21 together, but that day has sadly arrived.

You catch yourself reminiscing over long forgotten Facebook albums; some of the pictures are even—gasp—detagged! You find yourself determined to reunite and catch up, what with you both returning home from different schools on Spring Break. What a coincidence, you’re not going to Mexico, and she won’t be joining the Senor Frog with all of her schoolmates. With nothing else to do in the boring suburbs, you assume that you two will def hang out (mostly because you texted her “we will def hang out”). But sure enough, you and homegirl don’t get together. You don’t even hang out. Not even a Starbucks run together…and the worst part is? She lives a block away from you.

Overdraft “Protection” Fees: A complete misnomer, if you ask me, because the overdraft fees I encounter almost every month on my bank statement in no way protecting me from the additional $35 tacked onto the overdraft charges. Is this my fault? Entirely. Should I re-evaluate my maturity level to decide if I’m responsible enough to operate a simple checking account? Most likely. But paying an extra $45 for a Redbull that should have cost me 4 bucks is beyond painful when I can barely afford to fill my tank (and Good Morning America has not found a way to solve this issue in any of their Recessionista segments as of yet). So yes, I reserve the right to get angry at someone else for my irresponsibility, and I most definitely reserve the right to blame the manager of Circle K who feels the need to process transactions two weeks after they take place…Those text message account balances can only get me so far.

Spring Break Homework: Let me just say that papers due the first class after Spring Break put the ass in assignment. I was fully looking forward to a week of doing absolutely nothing academic until the last class before Spring Break, when my T.A. thought a surprise 10 page paper was the perfect way to wish us Bon Voyage! So instead of vegging by my parents’ pool with nothing to worry about besides what Rooney song will play next on shuffle, the shadow of a term paper is blocking my tanning light. Thank you, T.A.-with-something-to-prove, for ensuring that I have to battle the glare of sunlight to read my computer screen. I blame you, and only you, for the fact that I have to pass on the maragaritas being passed around, because if there’s one thing that doesn’t mix well with tequila (besides vodka), it’s post 1800 American Literature.

Watchmen: I never read the graphic novel, so perhaps some of the epic effect of the movie was lost on me. Nonetheless, I was very excited to check out the latest superhero flick last weekend, mostly because I am a Sci-fi addict. All I can say is that I want my $12.50 back because the movie was pretty much a waste of 2 hours and 41 minutes of my life. The snippets of backstory confused the sh** out of me, I didn’t understand what that thing on Mars was (or when Dr. M had time to build it), and how that cool tiger/antelope creature came into play in Antarctica. The blood and guts were great, but still didn’t provide enough action that I expect from men in tights kicking the living crap out of each other. The Nixon role looked more like a caricature and Malin Akerman’s greatest contribution to the team was a rubber one-piece and smoky eyes. The silver lining? My Chemical Romance’s Desolation Row, but it was all pretty much downhill from there. Fanboys and Girls, your rebuttal?