Senioritis: I Have No Future

March 17, 2009     Posted in Reality

cap-graduation.jpgDear Waiter-Full-Of-Wisdom,


By Jenni

I recently had the pleasure and delight of meeting you while I dined during my Spring Break. I had planned on enjoying a simple dinner with friends, so you can imagine what a fabulous surprise it was to discover that you were not only a waiter, but also a career advisor and stock market analyst. At first you played coy by just taking our drink orders and delivering our food. Don’t get me wrong, you did a stupendous job as a waiter, but you didn’t really start to shine until the small talk began.

It started slow – hometowns, hobbies, and colleges. But then we when we got to majors, your true expertise came out. You asked around the table what everyone was studying. Psychology, English, Sociology. Then I said my major, communications. Your mouth dropped open and you threw your tray up into the air.

“Communications!?!?!? There’s no future in that.”

I managed to restrain myself and not get into the real intricacies of my major within my communications school. I clapped my hand over my mouth to stop myself from shouting out, “You’re a 42 year old waiter working at an amusement park. There’s no future in that.”

And everything would have progressed normally from there (minus your lack of a tip), except you felt the need to keep talking. “Now sociology, that’s a solid major, you can go far with that, but communications, aw man, good luck finding a job.” I’m used to people thinking communications is a joke major, but I will absolutely not accept a statement about sociology being a better major for future careers. Unless people-watchers start getting paid, I’m not really sure where exactly that degrees goes besides grad school applications.

But it was my spring break and I was determined not to do anything but stay relaxed. So I let you keep talking as I silently bent a metal spoon in half under the table.

“The market’s so bad right now and it’s not getting better, economy’s in the toilet, you’re never getting a job.” Really? Did you really think that I was unaware of the economic situation right now? I guess you didn’t. Because you put on your CNBC hat and kept talking. By the time I finished my dinner you had informed me that we are in some kind of situation called a recession, I should look into other majors, and my basketball team had a big game tonight. I can’t lie. I did appreciate that final fact. Since the game turned out to be somewhat history-making.

Finally you cleared our plates all on one arm and left. And I appluad you for that. I could never balance more than one plate on my arm, let alone seven. So therefore I would never try to give you advice on your job as a waiter. And in exchange, I would greatly appreciate it if you would stick to dispensing napkins instead of career advice from now on. I know how hard it’s going to be after graduation without everyone from my waiter to mailman telling me.

I’m going to cry into my pillow now.

Best,

Jenni

19 Comments on "Senioritis: I Have No Future"

  1. KR says:
    Tue, 17th Mar 20099:20 am 

    Did the waiter tell you what /his/ degree was in?

  2. Sarah says:
    Tue, 17th Mar 20099:21 am 

    I know that feeling. I'm a Communications major too, and I get that schpeel all the time. I'll be out with my friends, and majors get asked – Bio, Psych, Toxicology, Bio, Pharmacy – then me, Communications. I'm always the one getting lectured too.

  3. samantha says:
    Tue, 17th Mar 200910:42 am 

    I'm a psych major, and I get the same deal. I always figured that if I really couldn't find a job counseling or something that I could become a college professor of psychology. I think that kind of applies to really any field where jobs are scarce.

  4. Donni says:
    Tue, 17th Mar 200912:23 pm 

    I'm an English major. I get 'what are you gonna do with that? Teach?" in condescending tones ALL THE TIME. I constantly restrain myself from telling the person about their narrowminded ignorance and going into detail about my level of skill, my minors, and my creative mission. Instead I say, "And what's wrong with teaching?"

  5. bandit says:
    Tue, 17th Mar 20091:01 pm 

    Religious studies, with no intention to go to seminary or work in a church. You can imagine how my conversations with everyone go. Sigh. Six weeks left till my work is rendered useless by graduation.

  6. brooklynbabe347 says:
    Tue, 17th Mar 20091:56 pm 

    Story of my life. I am friggin' doomed. SIGH.

  7. Samantha says:
    Tue, 17th Mar 20092:55 pm 

    The vast majority of majors are all in the same boat. Unless it is Nursing, Engineering, or like Computer Science, no major is going to be literally guaranteed to get a job easily. You should have said F You and went along with your day.

  8. Brittany says:
    Tue, 17th Mar 20093:36 pm 

    When I was a dance major I got a lot of flack too. My dad used to say "good luck living in a box…blah blah blah."

    Now I'm an Early Education major. I'm not worried about trying to find a job at all.

  9. K says:
    Tue, 17th Mar 20096:42 pm 

    Seeing as how SU has one of the best comn departments in the country I think you'll be okay.

    And Brittany, where do you live? Schools near me are 'asking' cutting current teachers to take a pay cut… they certainly shouldn't be hiring new ones right now.

  10. Samantha says:
    Tue, 17th Mar 20097:51 pm 

    There will always be a need for teachers. The population in the US isn't getting any smaller. Somebody has to teach all the kids that are going to be going through school. That is as safe a bet as you can possible make to always have a job.

  11. Emily says:
    Tue, 17th Mar 20098:11 pm 

    I'm an art education major, and I want to stab every person in the eye with my paintbrush that tells me business would be a much more suitable major then art. I may end up living in a box but at least i won't be 40 and working in a cubicle at a job I hate!

  12. Lauren, University o says:
    Wed, 18th Mar 20093:48 am 

    Finding a teaching job is not so easy right now. (A lot of my friends were ed majors) Because of the current economic situation, funding for schools is getting cut and teachers are getting laid off and class sizes are getting bigger. The only bright side is that many districts are buying out their older and more expensive teachers in favor of hiring young ones, but there is no guarantee for ANY major right now.

  13. Jes says:
    Wed, 18th Mar 20096:38 am 

    Yeah all of my education friends can't find a freakin job right now either and they're all really upset about the local layouffs and school closings going on around our area.

    Even the preschools are laying people off.

    But my bf can't seem to find a job right now eitehr and he's freakign chem engineering. We're thinking about looking overseas. You'd think with such a specialized degree it'd be an instant thing, but right now nothing's guaranteed.

    I'm graphic design and people look at me like I'm not learning to do anything "worthwile." I'm like screw you bitches, I get to do what makes me happy! lol

  14. allie says:
    Wed, 18th Mar 20099:11 am 

    Im an english major, with plans to go into non-profit.

    To quote my grandmother: "notice the NO in non-profit, dearie? How is your boyfriend doing- Isn't he a business major? You would make such a beautiful bride."

  15. kate says:
    Fri, 20th Mar 20095:18 pm 

    HA!!! I just graduated from college with a Communications degree in December and i can totally relate!! It is so irritating…as if we don't know already. And no, I still haven't found a job, but I am going to law school in the fall so people who open their mouths about it quickly shut up when they find that out

  16. nicole says:
    Mon, 23rd Mar 20097:10 pm 

    I was originally a biology major but I switched to a Communications major with minors in graphic design and biology. I have no clue where that is going to take me. Good luck to everyone else.

  17. Peter says:
    Sat, 25th Apr 20097:14 pm 

    Hi, I am 18 and before wasting my time on the same degrees as you guys im going to try the only truly profitable path. I am going to prey on the vast immorality of America and the rest of the world by offering a workers union to strippers and the alike. this way even if i fail i will still be able to create a work strike capable of seizing up the money making machines that account for around 10 billion dollars of our economy. now doesnt that sound like a fan-fucking-tastic idea?

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