The Mortifying Makeout

March 18, 2009 - 12:00 pm By Lauren - University of Michigan

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After spending a good chunk of yesterday in a dark, dingy basement bar with no windows, I started thinking.

Thought #1: I’m never drinking again

Thought #2: This bathroom floor is far to gross to lay on while I attempt to rid my stomach of too many green sharkbowls.

Thought #3: Wow, that dude I made out with was really gross. Who knew I had a thing for long beards and mohawks when I’m drunk?!

Thought #4: PIZZAAAAAAA.

Alcohol makes us do some pretty stupid things. Like peeing in public places, flashing people (yes, I saw a girl doing that…at a restaurant), and finding the most unattractive of people simply irresistible.

Just ask my guy friend who flirted with one total hottie all day and ended up taking home a girl (who had facial hair resembling that of my own St. Patty’s Day makeout) who spent 6 hours sitting at the bar eating chicken tenders.

Seriously, I know.

We all have that mortifying makeout story (or, in my case, 12), so let’s share! Get it off your chest. Let it all out. Think of it as therapy – a release for you, and a much-needed midweek laugh for the rest of us.

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14 Comments on "The Mortifying Makeout"

  1. Lauren, University of Michigan says:
    Wed, 18th Mar 200912:47 pm 

    Fine. I’ll start :)

    I once brought home a guy who stopped in the middle to go upstairs and have a cigarette on my porch. Then he got lost on the way back to my room, so I went upstairs 20 minuts later to find him passed out on the couch.

    I lived in teh basement. It wasn’t that hard to find my room.

    Did I mention he was sucking his thumb when I found him?

  2. Jessica says:
    Wed, 18th Mar 20092:19 pm 

    On my 21st birthday I made out with a completely random guy while I was dancing (by myself, in the middle of the dance floor, for everyone to see). I didn’t catch his name and barely remembered his face. A few weeks later, while creeping around on Facebook, I was looking at an old best friend’s photo album. Guess who is in about 20 of her pictures? The guy I made out with. Guess who is not even remotely attractive? That’s the last time I make out with someone when I am that wasted. (yeah we’ll see)

  3. Lauren says:
    Wed, 18th Mar 20092:49 pm 

    About 2 weeks ago, I was completely wasted to the point where I couldn’t really walk, and these two gorgeous guys basically dragged me into the bathroom where I proceeded to make out with both of them, on the floor, at the same time, while exclaiming “I didn’t think the girl ever got to have two guys at once! This is like a dream come true!”

  4. Katharina says:
    Wed, 18th Mar 20093:37 pm 

    i got way too drunk and made out with bobby from snl. true story.

  5. C says:
    Wed, 18th Mar 20094:06 pm 

    I ditched my friends at one club and cabbed it across town to meet up with some others at a different club in the hopes of hooking up with this guy. We meet up, start making out on the dance floor, but being wasted, I eventually have to go to the bathroom. I am gone TWO MINUTES MAX come back, find him making out with another girl. In my drunken state, this didn’t even annoy me, I was just pissed that now I didn’t have anyone to make out with. Classy.

  6. S says:
    Wed, 18th Mar 20095:20 pm 

    I was at a red-green-yellow party;wear green if your single, red if your taken and yellow if your not sure. Oh, not to mention this was on Valentine’s day. Anyways, the night is almost over and I’m beyond trashed. This random guy walks up to me and simply says “make out with me”, he’s wearing green so I figure I might as well get some kind of action tonight. After he’s done eating my face, he grabs my hand and tells me to go upstairs with him, I laugh in his face and walk away.

    I learn the next day some girl had made out with him earlier in the night and puked in his mouth. Puked-in-his-mouth. I’m gagging right now thinking about it…

  7. Maria says:
    Wed, 18th Mar 20096:10 pm 

    I went camping with a few friends over the summer. After a couple drinks too many, I ended up in the tent making out with a friend of a friend. He said “hold on a second” and stripped down to his underwear. He then proceeded to lean outside of the tent, throw up, and then pass out face down in his own vomit.

  8. Bella says:
    Wed, 18th Mar 20099:33 pm 

    Once I was at a party where i knew no one and i got super drunk. I proceeded to make out with this random kid for a hour. he was blonde and thought he was hot until he facebooked me the next day ewww….but anyways that night, his best friend was not having it and proceeded to pull him away and then tried to kiss me. Being drunk, i was mad at the fact some boy stopped my groove and so I punched his best friend in the face as hard as i could. I guess i have pretty good upper cut when I’m intoxicated. haha…

  9. Olivia says:
    Wed, 18th Mar 20099:56 pm 

    This isn’t that fantastic of a story, but the first time I made out w/ my now ex bf. He went in for a kiss while I was in the middle of laughing hysterically at something my best friend said.

    It was very awkward to be laughing and then to suddenly have him hardcore kissing me.

    I don’t know if he thought I would stop laughing to make out w/ him or what, but once I get laughing there’s very little that can stop me, including kissing. So I proceeded to push him off me, still laughing hysterically. He got a bit pissed at me for that, but once I was done laughing I kissed him again so that made up for it.

    Seriously though, he shouldn’t have tried to kiss me mid-laugh. That was never going to go well.

  10. Trip says:
    Fri, 20th Mar 200912:43 am 

    Well, there was the time I got drunk for the second time in my life and made out with a random guy on the street corner in front of the bar. Then I proceeded to make out with another guy. On the same street corner. Within 15 minutes of kissing the first guy. The next day, my friends (who were supposed to be keeping me in line all night) showed me the videos they took of the entire episode on their camera phones.

  11. J says:
    Fri, 20th Mar 200910:59 am 

    This spring break, while in Rome on St. Patty’s Day, I was drunk eating some banging pizza while skipping across a bridge and singing (don’t judge). Enough “Ciao Bella!”’s were thrown my way that I decided to grab one’s face and make out with him. With my mouth full of pizza. While my friend and all her study abroad friends watched, literally screaming.

  12. janie says:
    Sat, 9th May 200911:58 am 

    after gettin wasted me n his frends went 2 the park n climbed in a tree n we started making out n his frends took pix n pit them on his myspace

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