How to Shoot Down a Creeper at a Bar

March 21, 2009 3:00 pm     Posted in Reality  K - GW g+ page

creeper.jpg


By K

Creeper [kreep-ur] -noun. 1. A person or thing that creeps. 2. A domestic fowl having malformed, short legs, due to a genetic defect. 3. An individual who stares, lurks or makes awkward and unwanted advances to undeserving women.

Today, College Candy readers, we will be learning about Creepers (definition 3…who may also fall into description #2) and what one can do to deflect their advances. We have all been at a bar or some type of similar venue and had a creeper (of varying severity) approach and had no idea how to handle the situation. Well, here’s your answer.

Stage 1 Creeper (Loosely defined as an awkward guy, your age or older, who won’t stop staring and/or making small talk. Naturally, you have accepted a drink already.)

1. Who wants to come to the bathroom with me?

After accepting a free drink (you earned it, little miss push up bra!), a graceful way of parting is to go to the bathroom. When drinking, it is perfectly acceptable to bring 3-10 girls with you into a bathroom, so your whole crew can be removed from the creeper situation.

2. Ahhh, I love this song!

As soon as you have that free drink safely in your hand, raise it up and toast to your favorite song, turn your back to your friends and get in the middle of the dancing circle. Migrate away from the bar and in time, your creeper will be gone (but that buzz he bought you won’t!).

3. No thanks

Saying no to a drink is incredibly hard for a cash-strapped college lady, but it’s the easiest way to get the point across to someone that you just aren’t interested. You won’t owe him anything and you can get away ASAP. I applaud girls who do this on a regular basis… but can’t say that I am one of them.

Stage 2 Creeper (Loosely defined as an undesirable guy, your age or older, who won’t leave you alone and/or follows your group around. He may have friends, and they may all be drunk, which makes him even harder to get rid of. You may have already accepted drinks.)

1. I love being out of the closet!

Okay, I may have done this, like 2 weeks ago, and it works. I grabbed my friend and said something like, “OMG, I am so glad we are lesbians now!” Our creepers heard this and were either drunk enough to believe we were gay or thought we were immature/permanently disinterested. Either way, we got our point across.

2. Honestly…

All you gotta say is “You can buy me a drink, but honestly, I have no interest in hooking up with you whatsoever.” A friend of mine told me she did this the other night at a bar and the guy who was hardcore creeping felt so bad he bought her a drink and left her alone! Hey, if guys can be sketchily forward with us, why can’t we be forward back?

Stage 3 Creeper (Loosely defined as a generally creepy man, most likely older than you, who just won’t get the hint. These responses are for when you are up Creeper Creek without a paddle (or a tazer), and/or just want to have a little fun. Do not get drinks from this one. Seriously.)

1. You’re the one

Desperate times call for desperate measures, so why not try this counter-intuitive example? Freak him out Wedding-Crashers-style and tell him, after he stops talking/ogling, something along the lines of “My psychic told me I’d meet my husband tonight and he was right!” I am sure he will stay a good 30 feet away from you for the rest of the night.

2. Baby Mama

If you can keep a straight face, tell that creep you are either a) Preggers and unable to drink b) getting a text message from your kids or c) a combination of the two. There is nothing less attractive then the prospect of coming back to your place and being interrupted by contractions or crying babies.

3. GET AWAY FROM ME

The creepiest of creepers are never good with taking hints. If you are hammered or just really fed up/revolted, tell that creeper straight up to GET AWAY FROM YOU. I have a friend who does this a lot, and her hostility sure wards em’ off. And of course, if he still doesn’t get it and starts getting even creepier, get a bartender or bouncer involved.

Anyone else have any other good ideas to ward off creepers?

29 Comments on "How to Shoot Down a Creeper at a Bar"

  1. Sam says:
    Sat, 21st Mar 20092:15 pm 

    Ugh this is why I quit going to the one club, or at least without my males friends. I kept having my butt squeezed, even after turning down drinks. I wasn't even dressed slutty like all the other girls. Annoying.

  2. hanabira says:
    Sat, 21st Mar 20092:51 pm 

    why do so many girls accept drink in the first place? we all know what intentions are and it just seems unfair on poor guys who you use for their money… creep or no creep using men for their money is just kind of icky…

  3. yelena says:
    Sat, 21st Mar 20093:20 pm 

    hahahahaha! everyone in that photo above looks like a total creeper, not just the guy.

  4. Lucy says:
    Sat, 21st Mar 20095:40 pm 

    That picture is amazingly hilarious.

  5. Natalie says:
    Sat, 21st Mar 20096:43 pm 

    Well, I can second the lesbian option. I'm actually a femme dyke. I get hit on by guys in clubs a lot. When they find out they don't have a chance, things usually simmer down.

  6. Jamie W. says:
    Sat, 21st Mar 20097:04 pm 

    i keep an "engagement ring" [its a 10$ sterling silver ring my ex bought me back in highschool. but hey its cute. and useful] on my middle finger on my left hand. i can switch it from middle to ring finger quickly. brush my hair away. and if the creeper doesnt notice that. i'll get one of the girls to do the "OMG I'M SO EXCITED TO BE ENGAGED!!!" thing and he'll back the eff off like he should. it works and its a lovely fashion accessory.

  7. The Closer says:
    Sun, 22nd Mar 20094:08 am 

    Now if only some one could work out how to shoot down people in business so effectively. The rules of the college bar are a fertile proving ground for teh Big Wide World

    Cheers

    The Closer

    http://iloveclosing.com/2009/03/21/personal-hygie…

  8. Dabir Dalton says:
    Sun, 22nd Mar 200912:56 pm 

    Only a fool would seek out a girl, who may or may not be harboring an STD, at a bar…But then P.T. Barnum once said that a sucker is born every minute which is about the kindest thing that can be said about a male throwing away his hard earned money by attempting to pick up a bar bunny.

    A good quality woman worth having a relationship with, quite simply, isn't found in a bar!

  9. kirsy says:
    Mon, 23rd Mar 20097:58 am 

    ahhaah this shit you have to read before we go out, then we have to practice .the best of all is tip you are the one

  10. Megan says:
    Mon, 23rd Mar 20095:32 pm 

    ahhh I love this because I absolutely cannot turn down a free drink..or shot..or both. ever. but it defiently ends up in terrible situations where the guy who I thought was alright and friendly turns tottallly creepy really fast. I mean really I've actually heard the line "I see you at the gym on the treadmill…I think we'd have pretty babies"…thank god it was not directed towards me. These little hints would have been helpful back then.

  11. g-nat says:
    Tue, 24th Mar 20097:10 am 

    "Accidentally" spill a drink on the guy. I have a friend who does this and it works every time. This is for the ultimate creeper that is a good ten years older than you but will always claim to be 25. He tries to scope out the drunkest girl in the club and grinds upon you for the entire night. (Even if you're not that drunk) This has saved me from unwanted advances more than a few times.

  12. John C says:
    Wed, 25th Mar 20094:53 am 

    Ha.

    See guys, never, ever, buy a girl a drink! It gets you NOWHERE with girls! If she likes you, she won't CARE if you got her a drink ( a girl who is sincerely enjoying the company of a guy will not end the conversation because he refuses to buy her a drink), if she doesn't, the little bitch will take your drink knowing full well she has no interest in you, because women are selfish.

    Most girls seem to have precisely zero problem acting like total bitches at clubs if they simply don't like a guy on his FIRST approach (I'm not talking a persistent guy who won't get the hint).

    Before I became good with women, I've seen – and been the recipient of – some really brutal and unnecessarily humiliating rejections on FIRST approaches.

    It took me a while to grasp that when it comes to mating, women are shockingly selfish, brutal, and indifferent. I suppose they have to be – because mating is a BIG DEAL – but it doesn't change the reality.

    It's the rules of the game. I've adapted to it myself. I now have absolutely no problem talking to a girl for a few minutes and if I decide I don't like her, I'll just cut her off, abruptly end the conversation, and leave without apology or excuse. At most I'll just say "nice meeting you".

    Before I grasped how heartless women allow themselves to be with men, I would waste time and effort being polite and letting the girl down easy.

  13. Bartholomeu says:
    Thu, 9th Apr 20093:51 pm 

    John C. is totally right. There are fewer women than men that are genuine.

  14. Steven says:
    Mon, 28th Sep 20096:53 am 

    The poetic justice in this is that girls, who act like that to any guy, take themselves out of the running to be with a decent guy.

    A decent guy will recognize that girls who act that way to people have no value to them. Girls who act that way also lie, cheat, and steal. They also aren't real smart. Girls who act that way can't be trusted around a guy's friends, around his family, or in his life.

  15. bobby martinez says:
    Thu, 22nd Oct 20092:13 am 

    My problem is that attractive mid twenty females approach me like their interested and flirt. But I'm tired of being used for a free drink, so I tell her to buy first round and I will return the favor. Needless to say they lose intrest in me fast. When I see same girl in the community, I say Hi. Stunned at first because she ignores me but then again what did I expect from shallow females.Times have changed from when my grandparents and parents where single.

  16. Adam says:
    Tue, 19th Jan 20104:53 am 

    Why is that dude in the pic a 'creeper'? Can anyone tell me?

    I think women are just pretentious assholes. But, yeah.

  17. emily says:
    Thu, 18th Feb 201011:25 am 

    I agree with John.. I don't let dudes buy me drinks if I know i'm not interested in them because I'm not a big enough bitch to let him buy me a drink and walk away and I'd rather buy my own then waste both of our time. It drives me crazy when i tell my friends i can't go out because i have no money and they tell me "Just get guys to buy you drinks!" because i just think that's a shitty thing to do and I, personally, am not down with that.

    I think the only one of these ways that works is the honesty one. If a guy doesn't leave me alone, i don't fake gay or act like i have a kid, i just tell him i'm not interested. If you can't be honest with someone that you're not interested, it doesn't sound like you are mature enough to be out anyway.

    Jesus girls piss me off sometimes with how terrible they treat others.

  18. John says:
    Thu, 18th Feb 20103:28 pm 

    yeah, adam is right. you’re being a pretentious bitch. you are destroying the last threads of etiquette, if you could even call it that, we have left. when a guy asks you if he can buy you a drink, he isn’t offering to assist your poverty-stricken, college addiction, he is asking permission to talk to you and spend time with you. he may or may not be trying to go home with you, that’s decided by conversation. if you don’t want him talking to you, don’t accept the drink. that’s fucking rude.

  19. JJ says:
    Mon, 18th Oct 20102:37 pm 

    What defines being a creeper? It should refer to obviously inappropriate behavior. But a lot of these stories are only about being considered non attractive by the woman approached. I.e. if the same behavior came from a hot guy, it would be cause for celebration. You are certainly entitled to your opinion of who you find attractive; it doesnt make the others creepers automatically. And it is silly to expect a world where only the guys deemed hot by you approach you.

  20. Commentator says:
    Tue, 19th Oct 20107:06 am 

    GET AWAY FROM ME.

    That's it ladies; too aggressive guys are more than creepers – there is something misogynistic about them. Don't let them go too far. Be direct sooner rather than later. Of course, avoid being too rude, but don't let them harass you.

  21. Star says:
    Sun, 28th Nov 20101:35 am 

    I feel sorry for the poor guy whose picture was used without his permission on an article about creepers. College Candy is too cheap to pay for their own drinks and they enjoy stealing copyright pictures. Really classy.

  22. anonymous says:
    Fri, 20th Jan 20126:27 pm 

    I disagree with Dabir Dalton. That is a snobbish comment saying only a lady of value wouldn’t go to bar. Apparently you think we women aren’t allowed any fun? I have gone to a few bars, which look nothing like the ones in stupid movies. I go there to celebrate with my friends, sing kararoke or play pool. I never go there to pick up anyone. So your comment was disrespectful to women in general. Don’t be a chauvinist pig. As for creepers I agree with all the methods listed. Though sometimes mentioning your a tax auditor scares the creeps away too. Haha

  23. anonymous says:
    Fri, 20th Jan 20126:36 pm 

    Also women are not bitches, nasty or rude. That is only a handful of chicks who have no standards or just like that because they can be. If your trying to date a woman at a bar then your the idiot. Most women I know go to the bar to celebrate after a hard work week. Or they go to play pool, sing kararoke or just have some fun in a social setting. Again the bars I go to and my lady friends do ae not trashy and we never go to pick up guys ever. If I want to date someone it will be someone I have known fo a long time and can be a good friend first. If I am approached at the bar I politely decline. If h is persistent then I give attitude. I don’t owe anythng to a stranger. They are nobody to me. Generally I try to be kind to people but if I say no thanks I mean it.

  24. LoserByTrade says:
    Sat, 21st Jan 201210:11 pm 

    As a hardcore creeper myself, might I suggest simply this:
    Making sure you have an audience (like 10-20 people), shout in his face, while jumping up and down:
    "I DON'T KNOW YOU, I DON'T LIKE YOU, BACK THE FUCK OFF LOSER!"
    This was done to my creepy, eccentric, Asperg-oid ass back in the the day, and I came close to shooting myself about 4 a.m. that morning on a back road. She not only got rid of a creeper, but almost helped remove a useless genetically inferior parasite from society as well. (I did quit bar-hopping and chasing after females after that, so her method at least did some good for everyone concerned!)

  25. Winston Churchill says:
    Sat, 30th Jun 201211:53 pm 

    Or you could be honest, and use nonviolent communication (NVC) to calmly yet assertively alert the "creeper" to your perception of him/her and try to get them to change their behavior, without provoking them, leading them on, or rejecting them outright. Believe it or not, people may not be quite clued in as to what exactly they are doing that triggers the urge to label someone with "creeper" status. Keep in mind that sociopaths and narcissists make up less than ten percent of the U.S. population, according to statistics.

    Basically, the four steps of NVC are to state your observation of the undesired behavior, state how it makes you feel, state what your need is, and then make your request.
    A summary can be found here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonviolent_Communica…

    And let's be honest- you're in college, at the bar, probably surrounded by people you know, with at least one tough bouncer not too far away. Not everyone in the world is out with the intent to harm others, but not everyone at a bar has the social intuition, proper communication skills, and sobriety needed to ensure that the wrong message does not get sent to those with whom they interact.

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