Pissed List: Birthday Edition

March 22, 2009     Posted in Reality

birthday_cakeYesterday was my birthday and while it should be the greatest day every year (besides Halloween!), I have a few gripes.


By CC Staff

1. The Facebook “Happy Birthday” – I’ve been using FB long enough to know that most people (myself included) rely on it to tell us of important upcoming birthdays. That’s fine. What’s not fine is the sheer amount of people who do not speak to me in person but have no problem wishing me a happy birthday on my wall. Here’s a tip: if were aren’t close enough for you to leave me a witty inside joke, then I don’t want your birthday wishes.

2. Getting Old – I’m old. Really old. I won’t tell you how old (you’ll have to be my FB friend for that….and then randomly wish me a happy birthday every year), but it’s not pretty over here. No more staying up all night to party and feeling great the next day. Now I have to weigh every night out and decide if it will be fun enough to be worth the 3-day hangover that will follow it up. Seriously. I never felt hangovers like this when I was in my prime (20-22). And I hear it’s only worse from here…

3. Big Birthday Parties – My birthday dinner was with 5 of my wonderful friends. I make a rule that I have to be able to talk to everyone at my birthday, otherwise why should they come? I have tons of friends who do the 30-person birthday dinner, or 60-person bar evite. Come on, people. Big birthdays are fine for big moments: 21st, 30th… I know you want to feel special on your birthday, but you don’t need to celebrate with that girl from your Psych study group. Or the T.A.. Or anyone else who only communicate with you through Facebook.

4. No More Presents - “We’re in a recession,” “you’re too old,” blah blah blah. I still want presents!  Don’t get me wrong – I’m grateful for the free shots at the bar, but I want a present that doesn’t leave me sticking my face in the toilet bowl at the end of the night. I want clothes! Toys! Jewelry! (And no, FB gifts don’t count!)

5. Can’t we get some fat free birthday cake by now? It’s 2009!

17 Comments on "Pissed List: Birthday Edition"

  1. Anon says:
    Sun, 22nd Mar 20099:33 am 

    Wow, not to be a bitch but really? You aren't the least bit thankful that someone you may not have talked to in a while took time out of their lives to wish you a happy birthday even if it was just on facebook? thats really freaking rude, no offense. I get facebook birthday wished from ppl that I barely know sometimes but do I bitch and complain because they dont talk to me in person and then randomly wish me a happy birthday? NO, I think its nice of them to do so and leave it at that. If you or they want to hang out in person then do so ut it takes two people to make that happen and if you cant extend and invite to them or rescind their invites to hang out in person then maybe facebook happy birthdays are the best way for them to let you know they still give a damn that you are alive.

  2. Anon says:
    Sun, 22nd Mar 20099:37 am 

    btw, maybe you should stop relying on facebook so much so people will actually have to make face-to-face or phone contact w/ you in order to communicate. It does seem as though you have some aggression towards social networking since you mentioned it in just about every paragraph.

  3. Kristina says:
    Sun, 22nd Mar 20099:51 am 

    I'm in agreement with the other two comments- bitch much? I mean, how dare those rude people wish you a happy birthday! They should be taken out and shot.

  4. RIKO says:
    Sun, 22nd Mar 20099:52 am 

    Wow, this article sounded just a tad too bitter? Is all that necessary?

  5. em says:
    Sun, 22nd Mar 200910:02 am 

    are you guys (previous comments) for real? this is meant to be funny…and I thought it really was.

  6. Jacks says:
    Sun, 22nd Mar 200910:22 am 

    yo. you do not need presents.

  7. mella says:
    Sun, 22nd Mar 200910:26 am 

    i enjoy that you're a bitch on this post….i hate that people don't understand that sometimes you just gotta vent. my favee is when i agree with you and feel better that im not the only one who gets annoyed about rando shit..lol

  8. Angie Marie says:
    Sun, 22nd Mar 200910:37 am 

    I think this post is funny, which was obviously the writer's intent, so thanks for the amusing article. However, I just have to say that I love random Facebook birthday wishes…it means a lot to me that people who don't know me that well but perhaps would like to be close take a moment to express that.

  9. Vivian - Undecided says:
    Sun, 22nd Mar 20091:25 pm 

    *GASP* YOUR PRIME ONLY LASTS TWO YEARS?!? Wth, mother nature? Other than that, I hate not getting gifts too. (wth, friends?)

  10. Kat says:
    Sun, 22nd Mar 20092:24 pm 

    I love it when random peeps wish me a Happy B-day on FB! I think that if the people you know are wishing you a happy birthday on facebook, rather than in person/via phone call, maybe you should find new friends LOL (unless they do both). With that said though, i like that my casual friends/aquaintences take time to stop by my page and say "Hey, happy b-day, hope all is well!" it's nice.

    You definitely have some hate towards Facebook though, why so bitter? just sayin…

  11. Sarah says:
    Sun, 22nd Mar 20094:32 pm 

    Chill, ya'll.

    Brighten up and don't take everything so seriously.

    Relax.

    Breathe.

    Repeat, if necessary.

  12. S says:
    Sun, 22nd Mar 20095:57 pm 

    It's called the "Pissed List" dip shits. Of course she is going to bitch, maybe if it was called the "Smiley Face-Rainbow- Glittery-Sunshine List" your comments would be valid, but it isn't. I agree with the Facebook gripe, it's not that I get UPSET when someone says happy birthday but it's not as sincere when that is the only time I hear from them during the year, minus their minute by minute update about how much they love [insert boyfriend's name, animals name, tv shows name]

  13. Rebecca says:
    Sun, 22nd Mar 20097:31 pm 

    Can I slap her? Please?

  14. Christine says:
    Mon, 23rd Mar 20093:06 am 

    You guys are ridiculous. I've got to agree with S. This post is so the author can vent, nothing more. No one here can say they don't vent and bitch and moan to their boyfriend, best friend, etc., so you all bitching about this is hypocritical.

    Maybe you guys should look in the mirror before throwing stones…

  15. Sarah says:
    Mon, 23rd Mar 20096:42 am 

    I'd like to slap you instead, Rebecca.

    Like, really hard.

  16. Candie says:
    Mon, 23rd Mar 200910:57 am 

    LOL the Pissed List comments section just turned into a bitchfight. How delightfully ironic.

  17. Emily says:
    Mon, 21st Jun 20105:39 pm 

    Haha, my birthday is tomorrow and I already feel the same way! In fact, I changed my setting on FB so that I don't get a billion happy birthday wishes from "friends" I never actually talk to. Bitter? Perhaps. But I understand.

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