Spill It! Secret Single Behavior

secret-single1Perusing College Candy’s fancy new cyber-digs this morning, I stumbled on this article, that I somehow missed the first time around. This article and its attendant comments cracked me up, and got me thinking about, of all things, a certain TV show you may have heard of. Ever seen the Sex and the City episode where Carrie admits that when she’s alone, she likes to stand at the kitchen counter eating crackers with jelly on them and reading Vogue, or something like that? And labeled it “secret single behavior’?

I am no devotee of SATC, but I thought that phrase was pretty genius, and started to think about the things I do when I’m totally, gloriously alone.

Now that we’re in the phase of life where living with roommates and/or significant others is par for the course, I find myself missing the weirdest things from time to time. Singing is a big one for me. Singing along to entire musical soundtracks or pop albums or whatever suits my fancy – and I mean headphones-in, top-of-my-lungs singing – while I re-organize my closet for the zillionth time and leave the rest of my room a mess.

Oooooh, or eating a plateful of random, unrelated finger/snack foods for dinner, like cheese with crackers and olives and slices of avocado and frozen spring rolls and Oreo cookies and probably an enormous bottle of coke zero (or wine, depending on the day). Eaten while sitting on the floor and watching Veronica Mars on DVD.  The list goes on.

None of these things sound super weird when I write them down, and really, they’re not. Secret single behaviors aren’t necessarily freakish – that’s not the reason they’re secret. Adding another person into the mix changes what it is you inherently love about these mini-fetishes, whatever they are. They’re not only things you do by yourself, you do them FOR yourself; comforting little rituals or indulgences, just idiosyncratic enough to raise an eyebrow, but innocuous enough that they can’t really be explained.

So come on, spill it! Ladies with lovers, anything you miss from your swinging single days? Swinging singles, anything you’re determined to never give up? What is your secret single behavior?



  1. Sarah says:

    I love to watch old ANTM cycles on Youtube while eating huge plates of gnocchi (Italian potato dumplings, delicious and fattening) smothered in butter and crappy Parmesan cheese. Then licking the plate when I'm don. I'm such a carb-whore.

  2. Lauren - University says:

    Graham crackers, peanut butter and chocolate chips. Then a little (ok, a lot) of PB on a spoon.

  3. Leah - Ryerson Unive says:

    I like to stay in and watch Gilmore Girls in bed with junk food on weekend nights when I don't want to go out.

  4. Jess says:

    perfectly describes my days-and why I need to hit the gym every day for the next 2 months.

  5. Sam says:

    Well I'm sitting in here eating some ice cream straight from the pint.. it's been a long day! haha

  6. Kristen says:

    I love to lay in bed watching Popular (it was on the WB in 2000) on youtube and eating anything chocolate.

  7. tissue says:

    Big Bang Theory, Seinfeld, Will & Grace, korean/chinese dramas while eating ice cream, popcorn, or ramen.

  8. Jenny says:

    I'm not single, but I do live alone at the moment. I'm going to miss eating dinner in bed when the boyfriend moves in with me next month.

  9. Anna says:

    Just being able to sit on my computer for hours like I do now & not having someone ask me what I'm doing all the time. I like to read sex tips or write my fashion blog posts without my bf hovering (and reading my unfinished, cheesy-sounding when you know me writing!).

  10. Kelly says:

    I've lived with the bf since August but I still practice all of my secret single behaviors, especially when he's at work. I build a little hut on my bed with the blanket and sit under it with a giant bowl of cereal and ANTM, and I'm set for the whole day.

  11. Gwenivere says:

    I have lived with my boyfriend (now fiance) for over four years. There is something though that I miss dearly and that would be lying in bed naked with my laptop eating frozen reese cups. I miss being that carefree. It's just not the same when someone else is in the house.

  12. nina says:

    I too, enjoy crackers with jelly on them when I'm alone.

  13. Celia says:

    My little sister and I once sat on the couch in our pajamas and spent an entire day watching What Not To Wear, ANTM, and that Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders show. And ate lots of weird food combinations (pizza and kraft macaroni for dinner!). It was fantastic.

  14. Leigh says:

    Slowly and meticulously painting my fingernails and allowing them at least a half hour to dry so they have no chance of getting smudged while watching Gossip Girl or Desperate Housewives online. Or the Bachelor when it's on. Sometimes I won't like a color and change it halfway through the self manicure. That's what's so great about it.

  15. Lily says:

    Sitting cross-legged when I'm wearing a skirt.

  16. Emily says:

    Yea…the other day I did my single behavior in front of the BF. I ate an ENTIRE pint of Ben 'N Jerry's while watching a chick flick. Yea…

  17. Alex says:

    I’m lactose intolerant, so I tend to avoid all the really good stuff like ice cream and milk and cookies and mac and cheese because they make me feel really sick. I miss eating those, but I don’t like intentionally making myself ill around my boyfriend. However, if I was single…YUM!

  18. meli says:

    putting together different outfits based of mood by trying them on. I think I change my clothes something like 5 times before I walk out the door. Eating leftovers for breakfast while reading my horoscope for the week.

  19. caitlin says:

    not shaving everydayyyy. it’s not like i let a jungle grow or anything, but in the winter, wearing pants everyday, no one’s gonna see a little stubble on the legs anyway right? :)

  20. Jenn says:

    I agree with not having to shave everyday! Also I used to watch cheesy Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen movies. My friends found out about that once and I still hear about it to this day…

  21. Aislinn says:

    Eating pepperoncini, it's weird I know but I love those little things and my bf who I live with hates how they smell. Also, watching the first 3 seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all the Harry Potters over and over again. Also, eating a whole frozen pizza, by myself. Yum.

  22. […] Maybe that can explain why I’m about ready to hump a vacuum. But my lack of booty isn’t all bad; I’m saving tons of money on birth control, which is a way overpriced on campus. And I don’t have to worry about getting an STD from some un-cut rando, or having to fake it with a lousy one.  Oh, and it gives me plenty of time to do those things that I could never do when I had a man. […]

  23. […] Maybe that can explain why I’m about ready to hump a vacuum. But my lack of booty isn’t all bad; I’m saving tons of money on birth control, which is a way overpriced on campus. And I don’t have to worry about getting an STD from some un-cut rando, or having to fake it with a lousy one.  Oh, and it gives me plenty of time to do those things that I could never do when I had a man. […]

  24. […] Girls Tell Us About Single Life Posted by admin Filed in Girls, Gossip, […]

  25. belle says:

    I like eating jam straight from the jar with a spoon.

  26. […] don’t want to meet someone, or enjoy flirting at the bar and the like – it’s just that there are things I L.O.V.E about being a single lady. Things that I’m not so keen on giving up. Things I want […]

  27. […] don’t want to meet someone, or enjoy flirting at the bar and the like – it’s just that there are things I L.O.V.E about being a single lady. Things that I’m not so keen on giving up. Things I want […]

  28. sara says:

    Waking up, putting on my glasses (not contacts) and watching Grey's Anatomy or 24 all day in bed! No make-up, no bra, messy hair, the works :)

  29. Mary says:

    Spending my Sundays inside wearing my pjs, watching Gilmore girls and eating mac and cheese (especially fun after a busy Saturday).

  30. Sarah says:

    I love laying in bed watching Gilmore Girls in flannel pajamas with all of my comfy blankets and pillows surrounding me while I eat pickles or chocolate (or sometimes both).

  31. Sarah says:

    I absolutely love watching the seasons of Gilmore Girls in my room while I rearrange my closet over and over again until it’s exactly the way I started with. I also really enjoy taking a whole day to do my laundry and putting it away just the way I like, there’s something extremely soothing about the motions of folding and hanging.

  32. Sarah says:

    Ok this is almost too embarrassing to admit, here goes: When I'm sitting on my bed watching tv and internettin it at night, of course I'm in my slouchy clothes and no bra. Well I'm in the slouchy clothes BECAUSE I'm slouching, and as such, my boobs tend to touch my stomach. And that grosses me out. So I tuck my shirt under them.

    Oooooooommmmmgggg thank goodness we're all friends here! :)

  33. Alex says:

    Why do most of these relate to foods we don't think we should eat and lack of primping that we technically don't have to do? That makes me sad.

  34. Mr. Matthews says:

    I know. But bachelors have their secret single behaviors too. I like doing any and everything in my house fully naked. Making pastas, pastry, chocolate souffles, stuffed dinner rolls: naked. Rearrange furniture, climb on a moutain of boxes just to get to get something out of one box, install a projector into the ceiling: naked. Dancing to R&B hits while singing at the top of my lungs w/ cordless headphones: naked. Kickboxing, situps, pushups (yes, with balls just dangling): naked. Oh wait, there's more: Movie Night with at least 8 random, foreign and domestic, comedy, romance, action/adventure, subtitles all back to back non-stop w/ your usual PB&J cracker sandwiches to whatever is edible and can fit onto one plate with a Large Seven-Eleven Super Gulp of Kool-Aid. The single man usual: internet porn in bed on the laptop. But what women don't really realize is that this scenario can go on beyond one day. Just literally pass out from total exhaustion just to wake up and do it all again. Well, that's men for yah. And last, but not least, my personal fav: fall asleep playing strategy games that have no role playing; so none of that Sims, Warcraft or Starcraft stuff.

  35. Mr. Matthews says:

    Forgot to mention:


    That all day in bed, no make-up, no bra, messy hair thing you do can come over as sexy. How? Well, it's not consistant so us guys know to not expect it often. In the same, it's so rare to see a woman do it now in days that it's considered taboo and bold. And that bold is extra sexy.


    Same with the slouchy clothes with no bra. The bolder you are with it, the sexier it looks. Oh, and the boobs tending to touch the stomach thing. Hmm, it may gross you out but (even with no expression of confidence) that's just another sexy attribute rarely seen by us men. Muy caliente.

  36. Jackki says:

    I like to watch degrassi and what I like about you reruns on the N [TV for Teens even though I am 23] and eat PBJ Club Sandwiches [3 pieces of bread and PBJ] then i cookie cut them to be finger sandwiches. all while wearing my hair pulled back with a scarf on, some low cut tank top that i got at old navy like 5 years ago and cut off sweats.

  37. KD-x says:

    I am all over the glasses, no make-up, joggers and a chick flick in my bed while eating nachos.. the cheesier, the better. I secretly love the way I look with glasses– contacts are so awful.

  38. SingleGal says:

    Sarah: LOVE IT.

    Here goes:

    – slouching in bed with no bra and tucking my t-shirt under my boobs, while reading House & Garden and Vogue Living, and making various lists (eg of things I need to do or buy);

    – watching porn, and, you know…

    – watching endless episodes of SATC while eating 3 bowls of spaghetti bolognese or a whole pizza;

    – going to the toilet about 300 times – even the slightest urge justifies a visit;

    – Googling random things like "secret single behaviour".

    Now you can see why they call it SECRET single behaviour!

  39. SSB says:

    […] And if you like hearing about other people’s crazy you can get more of it here and here. […]

  40. GirlsNightGal says:

    Hey Ladies – I just shared my SSB on the Seven Daughters Facebook wall. They're giving away tickets to see Nelly Furtado in concert if you spill the beans on your SSB. Count me in!

    You should share yours too!

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