The Pissed List: Conspiracy Theories and Irresponsible Treasury Secretaries

By Kari

[I like to think of myself as a pretty easy going gal and try not to sweat the small stuff. But sometimes (ok, maybe slightly more often) the general cluelessness, carelessness and overall stupidity of some things and or/people really gets to me. I find that venting is the most efficient way to rid myself of the stress that idiots, wrong meal orders, lack of cell phone etiquette and cheese flavored products (that don’t even contain any freaking cheese!) induce.

So, in an attempt to avoid an ulcer or an unfortunate road rage incident, I vent to you, dear reader. Please feel free to join in and comment about anything–really, anything–that pissed. you. off. this week. Let it all hang out. I feel you.]

When people preface an offensive comment with “no offense”: As in “No offense, but that dress makes you look fat,” or “No offense, but I think you are an incompetent tool.” See? It’s not a get-out-of-jail-free card. Some discretion should still be used when offering constructive criticism or an alternative p.o.v. If you’re going to insult someone, do it the right way: screaming it at the top of your lungs while dousing them with the nearest, most stain inducing liquid you can find. Don’t hide behind backhanded disclaimers.

Evil Mastermind Partnerships: Namely, the one that secretly exists between my apartment complex and every towing company in the general Tallahassee area. I’m not sure who has been blessed with visiting the glorious capital of Florida, but to sum it up: F**king humid, hilly, drunk, and insufficient parking are decent descriptive terms. There is nowhere to park. Anywhere. You can factor parking tickets into your weekly budget if you intend on driving to class. And the madness doesn’t end when I arrive at home. If my rear left tire is one centimeter over the boundary of my parking space, I can bet I‘ll be towed. And in an effort to reduce the amount of noise/fun I have, visitor parking is limited to 5 spots…for the entire complex. I’m convinced the tow truck drivers are paying them under the table to restrict available parking and splitting the towing fee profits.

And speaking of Conspiracy Theories: I’m pretty sure my favorite bar had an alliance with the ATF squad on St. Patty’s Day. Normally extremely lenient with laughably bad fake I.D.’s, my beloved campus bar denied any identification cards, military I.D’s and expired licenses. Naturally, I borrowed a friend’s fake, as I am of the under 21 persuasion and very resourceful when it comes to drinking. Not only did I have to prove my (false) identity when I left for class and returned (costing me a crisp 20), but I have to pay a $175 citation fine for getting a written Minor in Possession of alcohol arrest (those under-cover cops are good). Five months before my actual 21^st birthday. Which is an arbitrary age to put on the ability to get wasted legally and a devious plot to earn money in fines from those of us born after 1987. Fabulous.

People who don’t accept full responsibility for their actions: Especially when those people happen to be the Secretary of Treasury, Timothy F. Geithner. Geithner, a key player in the decision to bail out AIG last fall with $170 billion, claims that he simply didn’t know about the $165 million in bonuses that AIG was planning on giving. You know, no biggie. He went on to say “I was stunned when I learned how bad this was on Tuesday [March 10]. I shouldn’t have been in that position, but it’s my responsibility and I accept that.” No offense, Timbo, but saying that you don’t think it’s fair that you accept responsibility kinda cancels out the fact that you did…and it makes you sound like a prick.