Senioritis: The Best Things in Life Are Free

College offers so many opportunities and I regret not taking advantage of more of them. I’m not referring to visiting lectures from world renowned microbiologists or Teach For America open houses. I’m talking about opportunities to get things for free.

Club meetings that offer pizza just for coming, computer labs that leave out boxes of paper, and psych professors paying money for you to undergo semi-legal clinical trials. Even though I hate using the countdown, I have to admit that I only have a little over a month to accomplish as much as possible by spending as little as possible. I’ve included the following on my list.

BUY ONLY BOOKSTORE APPAREL
There is nothing more mind boggling in the world to me than a student ID card. It’s unlimited money (my parents disagree). The only downside is that it can’t be used everywhere. However it can be used to buy anything I want as long as I don’t mind the Syracuse logo. So I’m going to take full advantage of my last month of free money by wearing Syracuse clothing, writing with Syracuse pencils (who is still buying authentic pencils?), and drinking coffee out of Syracuse mugs.

TAKE ALL THE NY TIMES
We’re lucky at Syracuse to get free New York Times. It’s not that I’m anywhere near cultured enough to actually read them everyday, but I think it would be a waste of my tuition if I didn’t start stockpiling them in the corner of my room. I’m never going to spend any of my real money to buy a newspaper so it’s my last chance to actually hold one in my hand. And I’ll have plenty of time to sit down and to catch up on all the world’s news after graduation in between my Craigslist job surfing and updating my E-harmony profile.

GET A FREE MASSAGE
Syracuse is very into de-stressing activities. Unfortunately they’re all always offered in stressful places. Free yoga classes in an all glass room gave me a month-long case of angina. Every Monday they offer free massages…right in the middle of the student center. I’ve always been too embarrassed to plop down before but there’s not enough time left for me to worry about my pride. From now on I’m taking my shirt off and getting the Monday massages.

DRINK HEALTH CENTER TEA
The last place a normal person would want to take food from is the health center. I, however, am on my new quest to “take advantage by taking” so I’m throwing all caution to the wind. There’s always an ample supply of tea at the Health Center. It’s right between the tissues and garbage can, so there’s no doubt germ-infested students have been all over it. But what’s the harm? It’s free!

If the worst happens and I get sick I’ll just sit in bed under my new Syracuse blanket, read the times, and drink my tea.