Miss Manners: Tipping Cheat Sheet

kathryn says:
Sun, 8th Nov 20092:32 pm 

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Engineer says:
Sat, 4th Apr 20094:45 am

Not my problem that the restaraunts on skimping on their workers salaries. Maybe because there is always somebody in line to take the job.

Nov 2009

Specifically to Mr Engineer–think about it this way– people who are underpaid in the US or anywhere subsidize the middle and upper classes–we get their work at an automatic discount when we shortchage their tips , wages,etc…. the higher skilled would not last one week without the back breaking work of the “working class”..

–does not matter where they work– if you eat and do not tip or undertip (if a person delivers and you do not give the pizza guy at leas $3 a pizza or tip 10% for having the staff pack a takeout order–they do not get paid for that work)..your pizza or takeout is cheaper (for you) and the employer –but both of you have ripped off the laborer…

Waitstaff do not get extra wages for those things but are expected to clean, restock salt, pepper, do takeouts,etc.. while waiting on in-house cusotmers who are hopefully are tipping.. your rest. offers you a meal at a price that does NOT include labor with the understanding that in our culture the wait person is essentially a “free agent” for all intents and purposes–a one person business.. no benefits, no salary to speak of..

.your costs would double if you had to pay for the true cost of what is served to you (and tip was included in the meal)– and the one area that is and can be exploited is labor..

these workers are in effect often giving “away” part of their earnings if you have your meal, served and clean up at a discounted rate (ie. you –undertip your “labor”) your meal is already discounted as it has little labor reflected in its cost….. maybe we should dispense with tips and just pay a living wage– then your Appplebees %12.00 meal would be about $20-$22 and reflect the true cost of what it takes to make and serve that food .

Employers get cheap help by making usually the most desperate worker in our society (not the dumbest, not the chump– the person who is for whatever reason unable to find a good paying job)

tyou have to be desperate in our area to work for “tips”—-essentially at mercy of good citizens such as yourself.. instead of a mandated living wage with higher prices for the consumer

–would you go to work every week as an engineer not knowing how much you were gong to count on to be able to pay your bills because you had to rely on the generosity of strangers for your earnings

..only if you thought you could turn a tidy profit would you be self-employed and take that kind of -real risk with your livelihood …a loaf of bread costs the same for an engineer and a waiter.

–these folks who wait tables or work taking care of your elderly mother in the nursing home– assume large risk with often limited recourse if they do their jobs and you decide not to pay them.. wait staff are essentially self employed or in the case of a person who works in a childcare or nursing home–have few options in life and must take a low wage job..

So Mr Engineer, should we ask you to work on Sat. and Sun without compensation.., in effect that’s what you are asking of the wait person who serves you for free or almost free– –your standard of living is ‘higher”– at no additional cost to you– via discounted lbor services , really– at the expense of those who often work the hardest physical jobs..

…isn’t odd that those with the most education and opportunity , and good luck to have a job w/ better pay and benefits are often the most stingy.. –my husband is a physicist.. I was a pharma rep for 20 plus yrs–hold masters in science and history as well as business and a nursing degree. made a decent living and tip 20% and know that part of being civilized is paying your way– we should not have to live as a feudal society.

Collectively, the professional class give as a percentage of their income the least to formal charity.. and from what I have seen to people who have actually earned their pay..like waitstaff..

yet they expect that their daily life path should be smooth, clean, and convenient or they behave like the spoiled brats they many times are.. the “professional class” on the whole are the cheapest group of individuals I have ever encountered..

by far in our metro area most working folks hate to wait on/work for etc.. folks from NASA, the local high tech particle phsyics lab, the university academicians, etc… as these well paid, overcoddled, highly protected public sector employees leave $1.00 “tip” for a 7.00 lunch served with love and kindness and personal attention to their comfort at our local Thai rest.–and that is just one example..

You have to have nerve to behave like that.. to eat every crumb and want big portions , plenty of free iced tea refills ..work these ladies to death refilling and toting, fetching.. ladies who know your name, your food preferences, etc– and go out of their way to make you feel “at home”-

-I could not look them in the eye or return if I shorted them their 20%. And if I only spent 5.00 –$3.00 to me is an appropriate tip–I took their real estate, sat there and took the time etc they could be serving a meal–and I need to pay for that.or stay home until I can afford to.. . One of the workers at our local Thai sit down rest and I are good friends..

.. she makes on a good lunch shift $30 for 5 hrs work (they have to clean up too)…it is good that she does not have to depend on the income for living expenses..she works because she wants to sty in touch with her Thai friends..

but it does not matter “why” anyone works– work is work
– and it galls me to see someone making a salary of at least 70 to over 100K with good healthcare, secure job ,retirement, etc. begrudgingly leave a dollar to the wonderful staff at our local Thai or any other rest.

–a whole dollar– and those ladies smile and take it… You are good with math–what is 20% of 7.00? Even I can figure it is more than a dollar. I don’t care if allyou order is a diet coke–it is just disgusting to leave less than a dollar tip for anyone who makes you something and serves it to you.

… you are getting service at the expense of someone else’s paycheck when you “cheap out on their tip or do not leave the cleaning lady at the Hampton Inn $4.00 for cleaning up after your nasty old body hair et al.She is there to sweep your floor , change your linens and wipe down the surfaces that hopefully you treat with the respect you would in your home–all to often these folks are taken advantage of by both customer and employer.

.–why not just pick your wait staff’s pocket instead? those who make the least in our society, esp who work actually by their manual labors–often the kind of work that only a human can perform–service work–mopping floors that keep your hospital room clean , your hotel sheets fresh etc–people like you Mr Engineer,

don’t even “see” these people who make your day a little easier …they are just part of the woodwork of your life..

you de humanize people when you offhandedly make remarks like ‘get another job”–once you dehumanize someone– you do not feel bad about cheating them.. ..and not tipping appropriately is a clear indication of what you think of the “worth’ of others who serve you.

My next thought is Mr. Engineer would retort that he went to school for a long time and if “they” want better they too can do the same and go to school just like he did..many have.. and are still unable to find work at a living wage ..many work 2-3 jobs..some do not have the advantage of ability or the advantage financially or the bkgrd to even know how to apply to “move up in the world”. WE have all had help to get ahead in the world. No one does it alone.

…. and we do allthe right things can lose everything
if we become ill….personally, I .did not choose to have brain injury at age 40 for example…all the planning in the world, all the lifting of your own bootstraps cannot account for that..and the cost..so people who end up working at IHOP are not usually there because it was their “career goal” in life to serve your friggn pancakes for a dollar tip.

They are there because that is the work they could find due to their circumstances–maybe the night shift was what they have to do to take care of an elderly parent during the day?.. who knows..but IHOP / Applebees, etc is typically a good place for the customer and a place of ‘have to be there” for the worker..

Life is intrinsically unfair, Mr. E.. …you can trust me on this one.. I am an atheist, but, I would advise you to bank all the goodwill you can and do all the good you can in this world..you can start by paying your way when you eat out and leaving a tip daily if you are at the Holiday Inn…

you never know when you will have to rely on someone who is paid minimum wage to feed you those IHOP hotcakes because you can no longer feed yourself when that car on the freeway slams into you or that heart attack leaves you with not enough viable muscle left to walk to the mailbox..

,the last person I would cheap out on is someone who helps me who is not family.

So, enjoy your meals out. Appreciate the good life you enjoy and compensate when you are supposed to the people who work for you.