How to Tell Your Partner You Have an STD

Here at CollegeCandy, we’ve long urged our readers to go get tested for STDs.  Getting tested for STDs is extremely important, especially when you’ve had multiple partners or have had unprotected sex.  Many STDs take a while to show any symptoms and some people never show any signs of having one, so getting tested is the only way to be sure that you’re healthy and to ensure that you’re not spreading any around.

Ok, so you’ve gone and gotten tested–and the test came back positive.  Now what?  After you talk to your doctor about treatment, the next thing you should do is to tell your partner.  And not just your current boyfriend/hookup buddy, I mean ALL your ex-partners, too, because there’s the chance that they’ve been infected and don’t know it, either.  I know, I know… it’s super embarrassing, but it’s your responsibility to make sure they don’t spread an STD, either.  And, who knows? It’s possible you got it from them and they should know to be checked.

But don’t stress–there are some things that you can do to make the whole ordeal less painful.

First of all, you should know about inSPOT, a site that lets people send e-cards (like the one at the top of this post) to their current and ex sexual partners, telling them that there’s the possibility that they’ve been exposed to an STD, and urging them to go get tested.  There’s even the option to send the card anonymously, if you’d like, which eliminates the embarrassment of a face-to-face meeting.  It’s also a great option if you aren’t on speaking terms with your ex.

However, if sending a e-card isn’t an option for you, or you think it’s better, telling the person face-to-face is the next best option.  Choose somewhere casual to meet, and try to keep as calm as possible.  If you’re nervous, try writing down what you want to say and practice before you talk to them.  I know it sounds corny, but it will help make sure you get out everything that you need to say.

They might be angry with you, which is completely understandable–so be apologetic, and make sure they understand that you didn’t know you were infected. Also, bring along information about getting tested and treatement options.  Most importantly, make sure they know that you’re going through the same thing they are and that you’re there for them.  inSPOT has some more good tips on their website if you want more information.