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Life After an STD
About a month and a half ago, I wrote about testing positive for Chlamydia. It’s been hard on me ever since then to really come to terms with it. Sure, it was easy to get rid of (just a few pills) and I don’t have to relive it by telling every past or future partner that I have an STD, but the worst part for me is the stigma. It is a sad but true fact that I chose not to tell anyone close to me. Not even my friends. I was afraid of being judged. No matter what kind of STD you get, curable or not, there is a stigma that comes along with being a person who has one.
I know, I’ve been one to judge before.
But now that I’m here – someone who had an STD – I know that not everyone who gets infected by a sexually transmitted disease is promiscuous or slutty. Unfortunately, many STDs are results of bad decisions. I made one and trusted someone I should have known better than to trust.
I’m lucky that I don’t have to tell anyone about what I had, but in an effort to be honest with someone I was seeing, I told him. At first he seemed happy that I was honest with him, but things changed and I knew he saw me differently. He saw me for the mistake I made instead of the person he had spent so long getting to know and with that little piece of information, everything changed.
I learned a lot from this experience, and the thing I learned the most is not to judge someone. If someone trusts you enough to share something about their life like that, don’t let that change the way you look at them. It is more than likely that he or she made one bad decision – one that you may have made many times with no repercussions – and are now living with the unfortunate results.
The other big lesson I’m taking from this is, of course, to be safe. Trust no one. Most people don’t even know they have something, so think twice before you let your libido make your decisions for you. An hour of fun is not worth a lifetime of regret.
[Photo courtesy of Amvollmar on Flickr.]
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Anne says:
Thu, 2nd Apr 20097:42 am
Wow, so, uh, the slutty, promiscuous girls are deserving of their STDs and are deserving of the shaming and stigma associated with them? You're just upset that some of the sex-shaming put upon women by the bullshit patriarchal norms is being put on you, even though you are a good girl, who just made a mistake?
Maybe you should have taken this experience as an opportunity to understand first hand the kind of societal forces that are behind the sexual oppression of your gender, and the oppression of sexuality in general.
PS, You're better off without that tool who thinks less of you because you got an STD. He should put on some big-boy pants and grow the fuck up.
Amanda-Wagner says:
Thu, 2nd Apr 20098:58 am
I didn't see the writer say anywhere in this piece that promiscuous girls deserved STDs. I also didn't see her say anything about that stigma being associated with only women. Somehow I get the feeling that the word "man-whore" is thrown around just as often as "slut" when someone is wearing the scarlet STD. Its ridiculous and unfair, but it happens and maybe this article can put a stop to that.
Anyway, its great that anonymous shared her story in an effort to get girls to be more careful and see that in times when we do make those mistakes its important to get tested.
Lena says:
Thu, 2nd Apr 20099:05 am
I don't know, Amanda. "Not everyone who gets infected by a sexually transmitted disease is promiscuous or slutty" is pretty damning, at least in its characterization of the "typical" STD case.
Lauren - University says:
Thu, 2nd Apr 20099:13 am
I'm pretty sure she's saying that she DID think that but doesn't feel that way anymore. She grew from this experience. Give her a break.
M says:
Mon, 6th Apr 200911:46 pm
The moral of this story is;no glove,no love. EVERYONE should have a Mr. or Ms. Wrong on their resume!You simply arent a complete person without scr**ing a p*ick,but a jimmy-wrap is the way to make your list of accomplishments complete without a "prize"!The writer of this article is a more complete and total person than most of the answerers,in my opinion.
joan says:
Thu, 11th Jun 20093:27 am
where was the condom?
jones says:
Tue, 4th Aug 20096:58 pm
Now that cured, just forget about it. don't tell anyone else. Move on with life. You have your whole life ahead of you, be smart about sex and you'll laugh about this in 2 years. Believe me.
sameboat says:
Tue, 18th Aug 20094:45 pm
i love your post.
i got chlamydia.
and i have only had sex with one person my whole life.
i just feel dirty now.
and i just always assumed that happened to the "slutty" people not that they deserved it but it was just the risk they were taking.
i dont feeel that anymore it can happen to anyone and even though its curable it really changes your life since being diagnosed there is not a day i go by without thinking about it.
pablo says:
Mon, 5th Sep 201110:55 pm
My parents don’t know 3 years 2 little girls and the hardest thing for me to do is listen to my babymama as she says she cheated and caught an system as if cheating weren’t hard enough lol I know I’m not perfect man whore maybe i shoulda been u posted this u know I know what ur feeling my lifestyle is over my life is changed and I don’t have a choice.. have a life