G.W.W.E.: Jonathan “Relieve Me!” Rhys-Meyers

We’re back with another edition of G.W.W.E. (Guys We Wanna Eff)! Heating up CC this week is the owner of those effable baby blues, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers.

Let’s go waaay back (to 2002) to the release of  Bend it Like Beckham, when JRM got his first big acting break.  He starred as Joe, the Irish soccer (okay, football) coach who quickly fell for his culturally-conflicted student, Jess.

I loved this movie for two reasons: first, because it showcased Keira Knightley during her awkward stage before she was really famous, and second, because JRM totally stole the show.

His impeccable brogue and pursed pout had my teenage tongue a-waggin’.  Plus, due to the English colloquialisms peppered throughout the film, the characters kept referring to Joe as “fit” (translation: effable), which inspired me to dream of my own physical condition after a long night with JRM.

But that was just the beginning.

Our boy then took a role in the quirky (but really exceptional) Woody Allen flick, Match Point. JRM starred as a man wracked with guilt over an infidelity with Scarlett Johannson’s character, who devises an ultimate solution to rid her from his life.  The film has everything: delicious sex scenes, multiple close-ups of Jonathan’s chiseled jaw and impassioned stare, and his persistent stress only heightened my desire to step into the film and relieve him…if you catch my drift.

Today, he stars as iconic historical cassanova King Henry VIII in Showtime’s The Tudors. Now you can schedule regular dates with JRM (alas, on television).  And while he remains a bachelor, he’s recently been reported entering and leaving rehab for alcohol addiction. It seems he’s been spending a lot of  time taking care of himself, which I applaud. When he’s ready to let someone else take care of him, I’ll certainly be ready to effill the role!