TLC: The Scary Channel

April 4, 2009     Posted in Entertainment

True fact: I went years without cable.  And I never complained.  But, as soon as I was old enough to babysit, I would put the kids to bed and turn on the TV and embrace the goodness of TLC. Those were the glory days of The Learning Channel, because it’s gone downhill since then.


By Leah

Now don’t get me wrong, there are still some shows I’ll watch.  After all, I am a self-diagnosed What Not to Wear addict, and, like many other College Candy writers, I adore Jon & Kate Plus 8.  Not to mention I now dress up while grocery shopping, all because of Take Home Chef, Curtis Stone.  This sexy Aussie can ambush me and make me dinner anytime.

But, it ends there.  Lately, I can’t even watch show previews on TLC, because even they freak me out.  The Learning Channel either needs an overhaul (starting with this guy), or a new name.  Our suggestion: The Scary Channel (dun dun dun).

Now TLC, I do have to thank you for one thing.  Some of your shows are cheap birth control.  I mean, 18 Kids and Counting makes me want to join a convent and never have sex again!  While I adore Jon & Kate Plus 8, you should have stopped there, because the multiple birth/Brangelina’s competition shows now take up the majority of your scheduling time.

But then we have the pedophile’s wet dream, Toddlers & Tiaras. There is nothing scarier than a mom reliving her youth by putting lipstick on a 2-year-old. Yes I know these pageant moms exist, but I don’t want to see their doll-like children paraded around on screen. Doing sexy poses. In bikinis. (I feel icky.)

Then we have the medical mystery shows which really freak me out.  First, there’s the My Shocking Story series, featuring the half-man, half-tree; then there’s the multitude of Half-ton (insert descriptor) shows.  And let us not forget the show, “Woman With Half a Body.” Interesting? Yes. While I ate dinner? No thanks.

The scariest of all – and the one making me reconsider my cable package – is April’s all new, “I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant” series. Seriously? WTF, TLC? Why?

13 Comments on "TLC: The Scary Channel"

  1. Kirsten says:
    Sat, 4th Apr 200910:09 am 

    The "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant" show scares the crap out of me.

  2. vanessa says:
    Sat, 4th Apr 200911:57 am 

    I actually love those specials… even though they are scary, i find them really interesting.

  3. Emily says:
    Sat, 4th Apr 200912:49 pm 

    I agree with Vanessa.

    The show has to progress, and even though they might be unconventional shows, they are interesting.

  4. Lindsay says:
    Sat, 4th Apr 20091:55 pm 

    A lot of my classmates call it the Exploitation Station. Mermaid Girl? Jeez.

    And ew ew ew about the Toddlers in Tiaras thing! I didn't even think of the pedos watching the show! I was freaked out enough by the mothers putting corsets on their three-year-olds, but after reading this, I would bet good money that several people masturbate regularly to that show. Nasty.

  5. Ash says:
    Sat, 4th Apr 20092:05 pm 

    I miss the good ol' days of Trading Spaces… before it got weird and stupid. TLC used to be one of my favs too, now I could really care less.

  6. Gwenivere says:
    Sat, 4th Apr 20093:23 pm 

    Thank God there is somebody else who agrees with me. I used to love TLC. What happened to all those great shows?? The channel is almost unrecognizable. Once I watched “Half Ton Teenager”. It was the saddest show I have ever witnessed. I turned it off after 10 minutes. I don’t know how anyone can watch a show about a morbidly obese 15 year old, who desperately needs someone to care about him because his parents obviously don’t, and be okay with it.

  7. Lisa says:
    Sat, 4th Apr 20095:03 pm 

    Curtis Stone is so sexy.

  8. Rachel says:
    Sun, 5th Apr 20099:41 am 

    You could always try turning the TV off and doing something productive. Watch your Jon and Kate and What Not to Wear and that should be enough time spent uselessly.

  9. Amy says:
    Sun, 5th Apr 200910:44 am 

    The show Toddlers and Tiaras makes me sick, how can mothers treat their daughters like that?? Even worse, they think that putting all that make up on for beauty pagents is the same as putting on a helmet and shoulder pad for football

  10. thedailyflavor says:
    Mon, 6th Apr 20096:01 am 

    I agree completely.. just never thought about it really… I just stopped watching the network. interesting…. what's going on with them??

    Changing the subject… I thought I met Prince Charming this weekend… but then he proved me wrong. http://www.thedailyflavor.wordpress.com

  11. Liz says:
    Thu, 9th Apr 20091:26 pm 

    I was just thinking about this this past weekend! I was watching "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant" (which now freaks me out every time I get my period I'm not actually GETTING my period because apparently these women all got their period too!) and the previews for the next two shows were "The Lady with Giant Legs" and "Paralyzed and Pregnant." Seriously???

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