Hooking Up: Guy Loyalty vs. Girl Loyalty
One recent night at the bar, as I was sipping on my Long Island, a nearby guy began hitting on me. He asked me to dance, and my inebriated-state told me that this was a good idea. However, upon our dancing (read: trying to maintain balance in heels) and conversing (read: finding out basic facts), he told me casually that he used to see one of my sorority sisters. He said that he was surprised he hadn’t met me before, as he had slept at the house so often.
Peace out, playa.
He seemed a little peeved and surprised that I was no longer interested in “gettin’ out of here” with him. Um, hello? You used to hook up with one of my sisters!
On my chilly, wobbly and lonely walk home, I started thinking about the whole situation.Why was this guy surprised at my sudden complete lack of interest? Moreover, why wasn’t knowing that I knew his ex a big red flag for him, too?
We gals seem to take our friendships pretty seriously, which is great, especially since we are generally pretty sensitive. I know that I personally want to stay away from any guy that a friend has hooked up with (not the one night random make-out sesh, but rather the quasi-dating, every Friday night, constant hookup). If there is any kind of girl-relationship in question, I just back out. It’s just not worth the potential drama that could ensue, and friendships are far more important.
Even if the girl doesn’t care, or says she doesn’t care, it comes down to a loyalty and respect issue. And, basically, there’s just something kind of skeevy about getting with someone’s throw-away. If you hooked up with my best friend last night, I probably don’t want your lips on my lips…or anywhere else on me.
So why don’t guys feel the same way or, at least, understand and respect that girls do? I think it may be because guys value the competition involved in picking up a girl on a night out, so they don’t particularly care who she has been with, even if it’s the guy he eats breakfast with every morning. And maybe it just comes down to the fact that guys don’t care about dating history – not the guy who used to be with the girl or the guy who is with her now.
Well, maybe that is all good for the guys, but it just seems a little wrong to me. Where is the loyalty? Where is the respect?
What do you CC readers think? Would you hook up with a guy that your friend has seen? Do you think that guys don’t abide by the same policy?