Strangers with Candy…Or Condoms

By Kathryn S

Remember when you were little, and your parents gave you that “Don’t talk to strangers” lecture?  Well, approximately a decade or so later, we find ourselves in college. At bars. Talking to strangers.

And by “talking” I mean… letting a few rounds of Patron turn into a one-night-stand. What’s up with that?

Look, I’m not a slut. But I have certainly made some bad decisions. And with one in four college students carrying an STD, it’s really important to follow Mom’s advice.

There are plenty of reasons why it’s best to actually get to know someone before you go home with them. You don’t want to run into any “surprises” in the sack- e.g. you think he’s a nice fellow, until you’re astride him and he’s requesting that you spank him and call him Sally. You also don’t want to feel awkward about things in the morning. Let’s face it, it sucks to wake up to a selfish stranger who doesn’t even care about your walk of shame because he wants to get a few more Z’s, even though he has a car parked right outside and could easily give you a ride home.

And then there are the urban legends. You know, the guys who seem like quite a catch, when in reality they are dating/married/married to five women/gay/a transsexual… you name it. My roommate recently shared the most hideous tale I’ve ever heard. She insists this happened to “a friend of a friend” at work, which leads me NOT to believe it, but you know what? I’m going to share it for the amusement of the many CC readers out there.

A girl goes to a bar and gets wasted. She ends up making out with a dude, something she hardly ever does. The next morning, she wakes up with a rash all over her face. Freaked out, she goes to the dermatologist, who takes one look at her face and demands to know everything the girl has done in the past few weeks. This girl, not normally one to snog a stranger, lists everything except her chance encounter- after all, she didn’t sleep with him. The dermatologist knows she’s lying and keeps pressing until the girl admits to her makeout sesh. The doc then tells the girl to find the guy and go to the police. Somehow, she does (another reason I’m hesitant to believe this), and when the cops go to the dude’s house, they find two dead women in the apartment. The dude has been having necrophiliac sex with his victims, and when he made out with the chick, he passed their dead skin cells onto her face, causing the break out.

WHAT THE F***K???? Like I said, I don’t necessarily believe this story, but it shows that you never know what kinds of skeletons (no pun intended) a stranger has in their closet when you decide to shack up.

Sure, when you’ve been high and dry, and a McDreamy comes along and sweeps you off your feet, it can seem like a good idea to let loose. But sometimes one bad decision can lead to a scarlet letter that lasts forever. Why do you think herpes is (rather sickly) referred to as “the gift that keeps on giving”?

Take mom’s advice. If you are in a well-lit place with your girls, you can share polite convo with a stranger. But don’t go home with him until you know his last name, are familiar with his roommates, and hold no reasonable doubt that he could have a criminal record….or dead people under the bed.