Christabel says:
Wed, 8th Apr 200911:16 am 

This is so true, and pretty people don't just have it easy just when it comes to guys, either. I find that people of either sex are way more friendlier to those who are prettier. I swear, it's easier for them to make friends, find a job, etc. And it's so unfair. I guess, though, if we have to prove ourselves, then ultimately the people we're proving ourselves to will see our true worth, whereas they will only see the face value of the pretty ones.

dontbetonblondes.blogspot.com

rach says:
Wed, 8th Apr 200912:06 pm 

i totally agree. not that i am unattractive, but my two closest friends are tiny and adorable and they always get attention first, whenever i stand next to them at a bar guys are always checking them out first and i'm the one playing wingman. its really obnoxious because one of them is super insecure and i just want to punch her and tell her to get over herself, there is more to life than being skinny!

i also think that because ive had to "work harder" to prove myself that when a guy does approach me and hit on me i dont take it for granted because it doesnt happen on a regular basis and i dont expect that reaction.

Gwenivere says:
Wed, 8th Apr 20091:15 pm 

I kind of take offense to this because this the same prejudice I have to deal with everyday. I don't want to say that I am overly attractive, because I am not narcissistic like that. But I happen to be one of those blonde hair, thin girls, with larger boobs that you refer too. I can't change the way I was born. I am also not going to make myself uglier so that other people will take me seriously.

I constantly have to prove that I am not a ditzy blonde when I first meet people. As soon as they see me, they already assume that I have nothing to contribute but my looks. I have girls that throw me dirty looks when I am with my boyfriend for no reason whatsoever. (I have been told it's probably jealousy) I have had my friends tell me that when they first saw me they didn't want to talk to me because they thought I was too pretty and probably dumb. This is just by looking at me, they've never even talked to me before they made that judgement! I am a nice person, but other girls barely give me the chance to meet them.

You may think it is easier, but have you ever thought about how hard it is to find a guy who likes you for more than just your looks? Sure, I might have guys that think I'm hot, but that is it. You say that you have to prove yourself, well I do too! I have to prove to these people that I am more than just boobs and a pretty face. I'm smarter than half the guys I talk to, but they never listen to what I have to say because they are constantly staring at my chest.

In my workplace, my co-workers automatically assume that if I get credit for doing something great that I didn't do anything and I got it just because I must be doing the boss blah, blah, blah… They never think about how hard I have been working my ass off for the last two weeks.

Angie Marie says:
Wed, 8th Apr 20091:20 pm 

Oh, by the way, I apologize for the many grammar mistakes in previous post…I was typing pretty quickly (and passionately!).

Amy says:
Wed, 8th Apr 20091:57 pm 

Being pretty does not get you good guys easier, it gets you creeps and jerks easier! If you are ugly/plain, any guy who likes you is almost guaranteed to like you for YOU and not your looks.

carol says:
Wed, 8th Apr 20092:12 pm 

I agree with these posts… im a "skinny" blonde and sometimes women don't treat me seriously because they view me as a "threat" to their men. I was a waitress for a couple of years and it would be awkward to have a couple come in because my attempts to be nice were read as "this girl is trying to steal my man".It's also annoying to deal with creepy stalker guys who view you as an object before they even get to know you.

Bec says:
Wed, 8th Apr 20092:27 pm 

While this article does have truth to it I have to say not all of the being a `pretty` girl has its downsides too. Not that I am a Victoria secret model or anything but in classes people tend to take me less serious and assume I`m just another dumb pretty girl or will assume I got a job based solely on looks. Also 21 years of people only complementing you on your looks can also leave you wondering if you have anything else to offer and while i know I do its sometimes hard to get people to see that I am funny, smart, adventurous and a great athlete! While I love my free drinks I love it when boys try to have an actual conversation with me rather then just repeat over and over how pretty you are…

Jes says:
Wed, 8th Apr 20093:02 pm 

this article makes me face palm.

ugly average or pretty we all have our own insecurities, and our own benefits and things we have to work hard for.

The thing is, we are all people: stop hating on each other.

k says:
Wed, 8th Apr 20094:46 pm 

I think the problem here is that you are..as you put it "breaking a sweat" to prove to guys your worth. Stop trying and maybe they'll actually think youre worth it. P.s. Read: why men love bitches. explains it all.

Angie Marie says:
Wed, 8th Apr 20096:16 pm 

While I very much respect the authors of this article for being bold and vulnerable enough to share their feelings and insecurities, I just want to point out that us “pretty people” deal don’t get an “easy pass” through life. Sure, I get doors held open for me, and I get admiring glances from strangers, but–honestly–getting checked out frequently does not make me a happier person. I suffered from anorexia when I was younger, my parents have a verbally abusive relationship, and–while I feel reasonably “popular” and quite happy here at college–I was often shy in high school. I’m not going to lie and just blatantly deny that being attractive has perks; ha, as I’ve half-jokingly, half-bitterly mentioned to a close guy friend before, sometimes I stare at myself in the mirror when I am sad/hurt and tell myself “Thank God, at least, that I’m pretty. Once thing I don’t have to worry about.” And then, of course, my attractiveness is mainly due to the work I put in–makeup, clothes, ect. so it’s not like even the physical act of being pretty is easily accomplished. I also kind of resent the suggestion that pretty girls don’t have personality. I can tell when a guy is only interested in my looks, and I can also tell when a guy is genuinely interested in me as a person and talks to me because he thinks I’m sweet, smart, sensitive, observant, funny (in a cheesy way), and just a fun person to be with. But people will always be attracted to different personality-types (just like their are certain looks that attract certain people). I was sad for two months last semester over a guy friend who appeared to be romantically interested in a mutaul girlfriend who is very cute, but by no means “beautiful”, because she is athletic and absolutely hilarious. So I have my own insecurities. No matter how hard I try, I will never have quite as great a sense of humor as she does, and I will never be any where near as talented at sports. Maybe more guys are attracted to me (in fact, he was, at first glance) but, in this case, the boy I was really infatuated didn’t find my personality to be one that meshed with his. Now, there was an academic summer program I attended just before my senior year of highschool that was very competetive to get into; when I showed up, almost every person is the room was well above average-looking. (We were all required to submit pictures with our applications.) Also, I got a summer job right before college began that was sales-oriented. I will fully acknowledge that my looks were part of why I received the job. But I cannot just sit here and read that pretty people make friends easier and pretty people get boyfriends more easily, when–while I do have a great amount of friends here in college and I do get daily attention from guys–I have struggled through periods in my life where I was very lonely.
On a side note, haha, I hope this overly-lengthy paragraph didn’t make me sound bitter or obnoxious. I have a wonderful, blessed life at an awesome university. I love my family and I love my friends and all the opportunities I’ve had in life. (Including my physical appearance.) I have had so many funy weekends here in college, so many cool classes, and so many beautiful experiences. I am so, so grateful for the abundance of fun, happy times that I’ve experienced. But I’ve also suffered through my fair share of trials…just like each of you girls reading this. The fact that every one of you has survived thus far makes each of you a survivor. And that’s pretty darn attractive.

Casey says:
Wed, 8th Apr 20095:50 pm 

well I was going to write a heated comment, but after reading the other comments I don't think I have anything left to contribute to the argument. I do just want to say that I take major offense to the "pretty girls don't have personality" comment. Do you even realize how stupid that sounds? You're saying you can only have one or the other. And it's your jealousy speaking. However, that is the biggest problem "pretty people" have to deal with. It is NOT easier for pretty girls to get female friends. Yeah we can probably be friends with the "dumb, no personality, pretty bitches" that you are sterotyping, but it's hard for us to find true loyal friends because girls always give us bitchy glares. And It does not help that much in attracting guys. Trust me it is not flattering to get cat called while walking through the mall, or to have creepy weirdo's (where the hell do these guys get the balls to approach us anyway?!) hit on you regularly. It actually hurts our chances of getting good guys because they are too intimidated to talk to us. So please, for the love of god, do not say it's easier.

liz says:
Wed, 8th Apr 20099:21 pm 

This article is so wrong. "Pretty People" don't get a free pass through life. Although I hate to say this, but I have a twin sister and I've always been told am pretty and better looking then her, but she has always had great boyfriends who completely respect her. When your better looking (or at least I think so) guys seem to assume your easy and that all you'll give them is a good night and that's all. They always tell me that am the bitch but no one comes up to me just to get to know me. "Pretty People" intimidate others. Both good looking people and plain people have good things on there side. And by the way am a brunette that wears a size 7 and i don't have big breasts.

Casey says:
Wed, 8th Apr 200910:51 pm 

I guess I did get heated with that anyway.

zoe says:
Thu, 9th Apr 20093:27 am 

i have to say i agree with casey, one of my most beautiful friends told me about how she finds it difficult to get to know good girl friends because girls always get deffensive around her, knowing that she will be competition when it comes to getting guys. i think it's really sad, beautiful girls can be just as much fun but many women are too competitive and jealous… and anyway isnt beauty supposed to be in the eye of the beholder?? come on! who says any of us are 'ugly'? jeese there's more than one way to look… and guys know that too!

Jess says:
Thu, 9th Apr 20095:32 am 

Wow, I haven't been on CC in a few weeks, but this is too much to pass up!

I completely agree with the commenters. My whole life I've been told I'm a beautiful girl, but more importantly, I am also very smart and I believe I have a great personality! I put much more stake in inner beauty, but it seems I'm always judged outwardly first.

Not many girls want to take the time to get to know me and have been cold to me since I was little, (it all started in 1st grade when that bitch slapped my in the face on the playground because she thought i kissed her boyfriend!! hahaha) And of course the guys seem to only want to get into my pants….

(Thankfully I've had a good boyfriend for the past few years, but when I'm pms'ing even I've wondered if he's with me more for my looks than my personality sometimes!)

I'm really not trying to sound like I'm complaining, because I really do appreciate my life, but I was raped when I was 14 by a UGA football player, I have been GHB'd twice in bars, and date raped once when I was a freshman in college. I guess that can happen to anyone, but it seems some girls get more sexually driven attention from guys and that's REALLY not the kind of attention I go for. (And this even when you aren't 'dressed' for that kind of attention, like some girls)

Even at work, I constantly have to deal with the guys making completely innapropriate comments (even my boss!) and everyone assumes you only get promotions because of your looks, not your intelligence.

I just want people to see both sides of this argument… Men who mainly look at you in a sexual manner ae not the guys you want surrounding you, and the only ones worth anything are the ones to take the time to get to know you! THEN they're keepers!

And girls- wuit hating on each other! I've missed out on so many girlfriends and have been lonely my whole life because of this crap, its so stupid!

Jess says:
Thu, 9th Apr 20095:34 am 

PS- That girl in the picture- She's definitely going for the WRONG kind of attention!!! LOL

Modeling does not have to look trashy!!

Casey says:
Thu, 9th Apr 20097:56 am 

Jess, I completely understand what you're saying. I was raped when I was 13 and I have been sexually molested 5 times (once by my 7th grade science teacher!) and I am sexually harassed nearly every week. (I have breasts that ALWAYS seem to have cleavage, no matter what bra I wear), so if I wear anything remotely low cut I get comments left and right, and it's definitely NOT the kind of attention I want. I work at abercrombie and fitch and we have a strict "dress code" The shirts I am supposed to wear (and we're not allowed to layer anymore) are called "deep V tee's" Abercrombie girls aren't supposed to have boobs (that's why those little built in bra thingies never fit anyone!) So I always get comments from by boss's about my boobs. So yeah, it's definitely not always a good thing to be a "pretty person".

Gwenivere says:
Thu, 9th Apr 20098:25 am 

Damn Casey, sometimes I think we are so much alike it's like we're long lost sisters! To add to my post above, I worked at Abercrombie and Fitch too. At first I didn't even think they were going to hire me because of my boobs. The girl who was conducting the group interview kept telling me that I can't show my boobs off (nice right?). I don't try to show my boobs off, but when you are a DD it's a little hard to wear those AandF tanks that don't hold you in very well. I can't believe they don't let you layer anymore!

No matter what I wear my boobs will show. Even when I wear a turtleneck you can still see that I have a large chest. It's unfair the preconcieved notions people have about you when you are pretty with big boobs. They think you are always trying to show the girls off, when in reality whatever normal thing you wear is going to look like that. I hate it.

I am so sorry what happened to both of you (Jess an Casey) I guess I consider myself lucky. It probably helps too that my brother is 6'6" and used to guard me like a hawk. People always think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, they never think someone else's life might be much harder then they could ever imagine.

ForTheRecord says:
Thu, 9th Apr 20099:30 am 

First, men rape women for power not because they are attractive, or unnattractive or "asking for it". I think thats important to remember especially when it comes women who feels like it was their fault.

Secondly, everyone has problems. Attractive people want to be valued for their brains and smart people want to be found attractive… it goes both ways.

But I think this discussion is trying to focus on male attention in terms of sexuality and flirting. Its hard to argue with the fact that we live in a society where first impressions are important. More often than not, you will SEE someone you like and decide to go and talk to them to give it a shot. We don't just stop and talk to everyone we pass at the bar, instead we look for that spark, that first set of goosebumps that sets someone apart and usually (not always) its going to be something visual that gets our attention. So when taking that into consideration I think more attractive people have a leg up on the plain Janes.

Jess says:
Thu, 9th Apr 20099:49 am 

Thanks Gwenivere, and sadly enough you guys, I dont even have big boobs! hahaha, I cant imagine throwing those puppies on top of everything else!! lol

But "ForThe Record," you're absolutely right, guys do rape usually for power, or sometimes just becuase they think they can get away with it. I'll tell you what that stupid (but very attractive) UGA football player was sure used to getting his way and just didnt like the fact that a 14 year old girl turned him down. He's a sick fuck though, you're right… Gag.

But I think moreso the topic was pretty girls having an unfair advantage, and that they dont have to prove themselves to guys-They get what they want easier, but is wasn't noted that they probably get things a lot harder too. (No pun intended, lol)

They might get guys attention faster, but we're only getting their immediate attention to get laid for our looks, or some overly sexual nasty attention that we have to deal with ALL the TIME…. Thats just not a positive to me.

Samuel Diamond says:
Thu, 9th Apr 20093:14 pm 

On the IM the girl specifically has the same problem that you are attacking. She states that she didn't like the guy she was dating, but gave him a second date because he was hot.

Then you bash guys for doing the same thing. If you want to give up the hypocrisy, you would have a better argument. But you/ your friend ( whoever gave into attractiveness ) is the culprit for both sexes, not just quivering males or shellshocked women.

note says:
Thu, 9th Apr 20096:57 pm 

The 'girl' on the IM is the author of the article, they aren't two different people…

Ryu says:
Thu, 9th Apr 20097:36 pm 

Let's just put it this way: the grass is always greener on the other side.

OMGLikeWow16 says:
Fri, 10th Apr 20092:29 am 

oh wow this is all BS…all the pretty girls" are on here complaining…who cares that you have to prove that your smart cause your pretty…at least you'll get a chance to do that…im not like ugly…i guess…but like if your not as attractive as other people…guys treat you like you're invisible…and please don't be anything other than skinny and you're not that cute…cus if that's the case then you might as well crawl up in a hole and die because guys really treat you like crap…The point is if you're cute or pretty you have nothing to complain about period…and maybe you people not being able to have any real "girlfriends" is more like an even trade because you guys already take all the guys so us other people have to have something

Jess says:
Fri, 10th Apr 20094:14 am 

You must've missed the parts about several of us being raped. Talk to me after you've been down that road once or twice…

Or maybe you have no clue about sexual harrassment and how incredibly demeaning it is. In that case I'd recommend you look into it.

I'm out.

Casey says:
Fri, 10th Apr 20091:04 pm 

Thank you jess!

OMGlikewow16, The “not so attractive, heavier girls” that I went to school with ALWAYS had boyfriends. No they weren’t the “hot popular guys” that everyone wanted to date, but you know what? those guys are all assholes and all grow up to get fat with beer guts (trust me I still see em around at the local Community College) The guys the not so attractive heavy girls got were ones that actually cared about them, for who they are, not what they looked like or because they wanted to “do them” So yeah, us pretty girls have some shit to complain about. Sorry, but I’d rather be loved than wanted for my “attractiveness and do-ability”

And Gwenivere, I know! sometimes I think the same thing when I read your posts.

Sarah says:
Mon, 13th Apr 20099:39 am 

Everyone has their own personal struggles and everyone thinks they have it worse off than everyone else…

Why can't we all just get over ourselves?

Sigh... says:
Mon, 13th Apr 20093:57 pm 

Like some of the other posters, I have always been told I’m beautiful (again, like other posters, I don’t really internalize that view) by men. So, as one of the “pretty ones who always gets a free pass”:

-I RARELY get asked out. I had a guy friend tell me it was because “pretty, smart girls are intimidating to men,” but it just makes me feel ugly. Since I am painfully shy, I don’t ever do the asking, so the end result is I never go on dates.

-The guys who do ask me out are so bad. I mean cartoonishly bad. After dating a pedophile, drug addict, racist, and drunk, I stayed celibate for FIVE YEARS, only to meet my ex-fiance whom I left Feb. 1. He punched me in the face, and I left him.

-I am a petite girl, but am cursed with a 38DDD chest. Not only do they look RIDICULOUS with my frame, but MOST GUYS I meet think they are implants. They also think that, because my stupid boobs are huge, they are allowed to make comments about them, even though I am basically a total stranger to them. I cannot find clothes that fit, so I mostly end up buying t-shirts from Goodwill. I really cannot express with words how awful it makes you feel, as a human being, to be treated like a sex object with total disregard for intellect or personality.

To sum things up: I rarely date, and the guys who actually do ask me out are so messed up that their overinflated sense of self prompts them to ask me out, as some weird sort of dare to themself. I swear to God, one of my ex-boyfriends once told me that the only reason he asked me out was to prove that he “could bang a hot chick.” As you can see, when a person never gets GENUINE or decent guys to ask them out, they tend to settle for anyone who asks. All of this (obviously) has made me have some self-esteem issues, and I GUARANTEE if you ask any so-called “pretty girl” she will tell you the same thing. No one wants to know what I think about literature, they want to know my bra size.

So. Maybe being attractive gets you some benefits say, in Hollywood? But in the real world, it sucks. You have to fight all sorts of ridiculous preconceived notions, from men AND women. After this last winner of a guy, I’m going back into dating retirement.

I guess my free pass got lost in the mail or something.

krystal says:
Mon, 13th Apr 20093:59 pm 

First I want to say that I'm sorry for all the girls who get sexually harassed or raped. No matter what no girl should deal with that crap. On the other hand when you are pretty guys talk to you period. they may not be the best guys in the world but at least you don't feel like an invisible freak. pretty girls have opportunities to get better jobs etc. and they don't even know that they are getting it as a result of their looks because they r used to it. be honest. none of u pretty girls wished u were plain janes. i'm ready for the flames.

Lily says:
Mon, 13th Apr 20095:12 pm 

You can't blame getting raped on your looks, or use it as a reason in this fact that turned into an argument. I think it's completely different, and I've been raped too. It wasn't a fond memory, and I pray to God it wasn't because I'm "pretty."

But… One good thing that really stood out in the previous comments was that none of us should feel like we have to prove ourselves… by doing so you may actually be driving guys away.

Casey says:
Mon, 13th Apr 20096:46 pm 

Actually, sometimes you can blame getting raped on your looks. It's true that MOST rapes are the result of a guy wanting to feel "empowered" but that's not the case with all rapes. Sometimes (like my case) the guy just gets carried away. I was 13, he was a horny 14 year old boy, he also happened to be my boyfriend (not to mention one of the 5 times I have been sexually molested was by his pedophile father who cheated on his wife with 16 year old girls. We would walk in on him fucking some 16 year old tramp on the couch, constantly) Sometimes guys let their dicks do the thinking, and don't know how to stop once they start, but I'm almost positive it wasn't a "power trip" for him.

I wish we had an accurate statistic for how many girls actually get raped, because honestly I have only met a few girls who HAVEN'T been raped at some point in their life. It is just shocking to me how many girls I meet that have gone through the same thing as me. And for the longest time I thought I was alone.

And to sigh…, I said basically the same thing as you about the creepy guys that somehow have the courage to ask a hot girl out when the attractive guys seem intimidated. I went through the same thing as you dating losers cause they were the only ones that would ask me out. After highschool I had so many hot guys (who I had crushes on in school) tell me that they wished they had had the courage to ask me out, but they were to intimidated. So yeah I totally agree about the whole "free pass getting lost in the mail". lol

And yeah, it is easier to get jobs (some places) if you're attractive, but then you usually end up getting unwanted (sexual) attention from your creepy boss, so you usually end up quitting from discomfort anyways. Yep woo hoo! Free pass!

danni says:
Tue, 14th Apr 20099:52 am 

to krystal above who said "at least you don't feel like an invisible freak," how about feeling like a highly visible freak? if you feel like a freak you feel like a freak. if you have low self-esteem you have low self-esteem. the whole idea here isn't that 'pretty' girls have it harder than anyone else, it's that no one has it better than everyone else being treated differently because of how they look all the time. things are hard all over, life can both be wonderful and suck beyond the telling of it for everyone, and just because your experience is negative at a given point doesn't mean that someone with an opposing experience has it easier, or better, or even good. that's what feeling worthless is about, no matter what your circumstances are somehow the response you get from the world manages to convince you of such. if you think you're worthless because you aren't pretty enough, every experience you have confirms that for you. if you think you're worthless because the only value you'll ever have is how you look, every experience you have will seem to confirm that. I've been on both sides and trust me, neither is any better than the other. you can't win for trying, you know?

Dan says:
Tue, 14th Apr 200910:56 am 

Wait, hot people have it easy? Guys like hot girls? In other news, the sky is blue and fire is hot. I can't believe this stuff is seriously being published – what exactly are you learning in college?

laura says:
Tue, 14th Apr 20093:10 pm 

I disagree. My life isn't great and I have horrible self esteem.

Sure I get attention from guys, but thats only because they wanna do me, not because of my personality. I've lost alot of my friends because their girlfriends won't let them hangout with me. At parties, girls give me dirty looks and don't talk to me. They never see me as a potential friend, just enemy competition.

People think that since you're attractive you automatically have high self esteem and a great life (like the author of this article) so they don't feel bad about putting you down. Everyone seems to think that i have all this excess self esteem, some people even go out of their way to bring me down a couple notches. Even my friends do this.

As for attention from guys, most of the time thats a bad thing. You know date rape? I can't tell you how many times thats happened to me at parties. To the point that now I'm terrified to have sex with anyone. I'm so paranoid now that anytime a guy says something nice to me I think "he doesn't really like me, he wants to get me in bed." That pretty much ruins all my potential relationships.

Since people treat me this way I feel that being attractive is all I have going for me and I've gone through nine years of eating disorders because I'm terrified of what would happen if I wasn't skinny.

While there are certainly benefits to being attractive, the pros are pretty much equal to the cons. I think my life would be easier and happier if I wasn't pretty.

Brittany B says:
Wed, 15th Apr 20092:05 pm 

I def agree that pretty ppl get a free pass in life!

No offesive to you Laura, but if you're pretty and you have to work sooo hard….

Maybe you're not THAT pretty.

I mean we've all been called pretty at one time or another but this doesn't necessarily mean we actually ARE.

Jenny says:
Wed, 15th Apr 20094:03 pm 

Sexual harassment has very little to do with how attractive the victim is. It is a power thing, as someone has said upthread.

And I feel so, so sorry for the pretty people who think it's sooooo haaaaaard to be pretty. You're privileged in our society, whether you like it or not. Man, I wish the most worrisome aspect of my life was how to deal with some guy hitting on me.

Casey says:
Wed, 15th Apr 20097:56 pm 

Jenny, Did you read any of my posts? Rape USUALLY, but not always has to do with power. Sexual Harassment is mostly about the person being pretty. Sexual harassment and rape are two totally different things, and as someone who has experienced both I can vouch for that. And yeah like everyone else has already said, it is pretty damn difficult on both sides of the spectrum! We are not privileged, we are taken advantage of. And you obviously have never been on the other side of things or you would realize that "the only things we have to deal with" are certainly NOT guys hitting on us. And your lack of compassion proves that. You must be one of those girls that looks at us as purely competition in the dating world, not as potential friends like Laura said. I haven't had a decent female friend since 5th grade and every girl I meet gives me bitchy looks. And the girls that actually know me(through work) like me, but I can't hang out with them because I'm their superior and can get fired. Do you know how bad it sucks to not have a girlfriend to call or hangout with or cry to after a miserable day? Probably not.

Everyone's got it hard, even pretty people. We just have it hard in different ways.

And yeah I wish you could see what it was like having creepy guys drool all over you and NEVER. GET. THE. HINT! and have random guys feel you up as you walk through a crowd, or have some random guy come out of nowhere and push you into a bathroom and try and stick his dick up your skirt, or have a boss feel you up when you're working late one night trying to catch up on your work and have to QUIT YOUR JOB because you're uncomfortable and scared. Or have your 7th grade science teacher try and make out with you when you go to him for help during lunch, and then another student see's you and you get the reputation of "the slut that SLEPT with her 7th grade science teacher" when in all actuality you were SEXUALLY HARASSED, or have your boyfriends drunk dad ask to see your tits and fuck you in the shower.

Yeah I have a pretty damn privileged life don't I.

Jenny says:
Wed, 15th Apr 20098:32 pm 

Whoa, I think you're being a little presumptuous. I have no problem with being friends with pretty people (most of my friends are stunning), or with the boyfriend having pretty female friends. And I am truly sorry for what you have had to go through in your life. I have been sexually harassed and raped before, and it's definitely not a walk in the park.

However, you can't deny the fact that being attractive is a privilege. Sure, it has it's downfalls, as does everything, but why would anyone complain about being attractive? This whole conversation reminds me of how men complain about the hardships they have to deal with in a male-dominated world (although this is a much more trivial matter). It just doesn't make sense.

But who knows, I could just be some ugly chick on the web who has no idea what she's talking about.

zee says:
Thu, 16th Apr 200910:28 pm 

sigh college candy…this is so much shit i’m almost embarassed to read it…
i’m beautiful by the worlds’ standards, i’ve been modelling for a few years and get stared at everywhere i go and guess what, it’s the fracking worst…do you know what it feels like to walk on the street and not have-a-minutes-peace ??? to have men say the most vulgar and obscene things to your face? things they would punch anyone’s lights out for if they said it to their wives or daughters? do you have any idea what it feels like to be put in the “oh she’s pretty so she has to be a dumbass” category before you even open your mouth?? do you? do you know what it feels like to be in class and answering your lecturers’ questions to be ignored but if someone else says the EXACT SAME thing to be raved about and told they’re brilliant??
men have approached me and treated me like just a face and a crotch…if i’m lucky, most times they just talk to me like i’m a crotch…they call me “pretty face” in spite of repeated requests to call me by my name…and THIS post was the worst…that pretty people don’t have personalities?
wtf!! how about you stop putting us in categories of pretty and not pretty huh? women are their worst enemy!
“I’m just as worthy, if not more, of the same things you get in life, yet you get them handed to you on a silver platter and I have to pass some sort of test just to get a taste?” You’re more worthy ? Really? and why is that ? because of my face i’ve had to work harder to prove myself at work and in school…and for your fracking information, i graduated top of my MSc class and have been a practising therapist for 4 years now…my looks have nothing to do with my success…i worked 3 jobs in school and was a full time student and literally made myself sick pushing to be successful.has it ever occurred to you that people with attractive faces JUST MIGHT be smart too???
what the hell do you learn in school anyway! this post made me sick…and as a woman you should be ashamed of yourself, hating on someone else and making stupid judgements based on someone’s bone-structure, which is all a pretty face is.
try developing your brain and personality so you have something to offer the world instead of whining about who deserves what.
sheesh.

JohnE says:
Fri, 17th Apr 20097:47 am 

Attractive people get a lower bar to hurdle. All things being equal the attractive person will get the job, interview, date, anything. There is no way that is ever going to change. It is biological and cannot be overcome. The people whining about every one thinks I am dumb because I am pretty is flat out wrong. If people assume you are dumb it is about the way you carry yourself. Numerous studies have proven that people ALWAYS think attractive people are smarter, more interesting, and nicer than unatractive people. If you have to work harder to prove you're smart maybe it is because you are dumb.

klokoller says:
Sat, 18th Apr 20098:25 am 

what a pathetic discussion … just deal with your dumbass problems yourselves crybabies?

klokoller says:
Sat, 18th Apr 20098:25 am 

btw i was just in here to see the front picture in original size ^^

X says:
Sun, 19th Apr 200911:38 am 

No hot girl would ever say, "Man, I wish I was uglier". The end.

But now us ugly people feel sorry for you and how difficult it must be for you to wake up every morning dreading your day… Oh no, wait, we have our own shit to deal with. Nevermind.

Ash says:
Mon, 20th Apr 20092:13 am 

Okay, so. This debate has left me feeling pretty conflicted – I certainly agree with the part about pretty people having it easier, being a "plain" person myself, who has a lot of pretty friends who usually end up being the centre of (male) attention, and I always end up being the funny, sweet, intelligent girl whom people have great conversation with, but probably will not fall for.

But about sexual harassment, etc – well, where I come from, you're harassed irrespective of whether you're pretty or not. It just matters that you're female, you have breasts and are walking on the street without a male to ward other males off. Maybe pretty people are harassed more frequently but everything that's been said about people making lewd comments, feeling you up on the bus, etc has happened to many, many women I know of varying degrees of prettiness.

Perhaps pretty people need to deal with people not valuing them for more than their looks, but in my experience, at least they're given a chance, which is more than I can say for most "plain" women I know who are written off, and not valued for anything at all – on the surface, at least.

Jes says:
Tue, 21st Apr 20095:33 am 

Look, as one of "those" girls, I can absolutely agree that yes, better looking people are generally greeted and viewed in a more accepting way (and yes, that's proven in psychology), however, I think think its an ignorant idea that somehow any of us aer better off than anyone else.

Everyone has their own flaws and weaknesses, and the sooner we quit JUDGING OURSELVES based on other people, we'll be a helluva' lot better off.

Everyone has their own problems. Pretty people always feel harrassed. Plain people always feel overlooked… Get over it! When we stop feeling the need to overcompensate to keep up with other girls, we'll become so much more attractive just being ourselves.

Dont forget pretty people can have very ugly personalites and vice versa. It REALLY IS whats on the inside that counts. Maybe not for a one night stand, but definitely in the long run. Which one are you most concerned about?

Beatrice says:
Tue, 21st Apr 200911:21 am 

i love how all the girls on here are claiming they are "pretty". truly attractive girls are a dime a dozen i bet you bitches heard it once or twice so i boy could put his d*** in you or it was comin from your PARENTS.

let us see some pics and have US decide who's pretty and who aint

Casey says:
Wed, 22nd Apr 20098:04 am 

Beatrice,

Myspace, my user lookup is adrian_casey. YOU can decide if I'm attractive or not

Gwenivere says:
Wed, 22nd Apr 20093:32 pm 

Wow Beatrice, that is truly bitchy. But I am with Casey If you do not believe me you can easily look up my Myspace profile. My user name is Gwennyvere.

Tamra says:
Sun, 26th Apr 20093:26 am 

Casey: Yes

Gwenivere: No

Erica says:
Sun, 26th Apr 20094:21 am 

Casey and Gwenivere I guess you guys are both pretty, but Casey I can only see part of your face.

Jen says:
Sun, 26th Apr 20097:39 am 

I think both of you guys look average. There are girls that look like you all over. You guys shouldn't promote yourself as prettier than other people when clearly you are just one of the crowd.

Casey says:
Sun, 26th Apr 20099:24 am 

Well Jen, I guess I just value myself a little more than other girls do and consider myself unique, since I have never seen anyone who looks just like me. I am extremely confident in every aspect of myself and maybe that's why so many people tell me I'm gorgeous.

But you certainly don't have to think so.

Danika says:
Sun, 26th Apr 20094:25 pm 

casey: average at best

gweniverye: WHAT THE FUCK YOU LOOK LIKE A TROLL WITCH, your profile sayd 23 but ure clearly over 50

Lily says:
Sun, 26th Apr 20095:51 pm 

HAHA! Wow girls are such bitches to each other!

Instead of putting these two GORGEOUS girls down, you should be commending them for having the self esteem to love themselves and still think they are attractive after girls like you judge them on a daily basis.

I say Kudos to Casey and Gwenivere for having the balls to show everyone your pics. You both are pretty girls.

Tamra says:
Sun, 26th Apr 20099:39 pm 

Put a better picture up Casey to quiet all these bitches. The 1/2 of your face is pretty. Gwenivere, just take your picture down. Thanks.

Jason says:
Mon, 27th Apr 20095:56 am 

I think both of you are hot! And I think all these other girls are jealous. Tamra, Jen and Danika I would like to see what you girls look like cuz I bet it ain't nowhere near hot. Maybe that's why no one wants any of you and you have to complain about the people that are hotter than you. Oh and Gwenivere if you really are 50 that's the best 50 year old I've ever seen.

Katrina says:
Mon, 27th Apr 20096:57 am 

I am with Lily, I can't believe how mean us girls are to one another!

Both of these girls are very pretty. Why would anyone want to put them down? They have confidence in themselves which makes them even more attractive. Casey and Gwenivere don't listen to them because both of you are beautiful.

Casey says:
Mon, 27th Apr 20097:56 am 

Thank you Lily!

I didn't realize my photo albums were friends only. All my pics are visible now.

Ashley says:
Mon, 27th Apr 20092:41 pm 

Only your page can be seen, your pics are still set on private…

Casey says:
Mon, 27th Apr 20093:39 pm 

oops, sorry fixed now.

S says:
Tue, 28th Apr 20094:16 pm 

Everything that I wanted to say had been said Angie Marie, Casey and others. I was considered unattractive in childhood so i've been on both sides. sure it makes me happy to be considered 'attractive' now, but it hurts a lot when you're sitting here thinking if he just wants you for sex. or tells you that he can't get past your apperance.

i think the people who get the easy pass are the lucky ones who fit the popular standard and get invited for acting or modeling. and since i'm 5'4" i can't even do that.

i don't think anything in life is black and white. girls who get more attention in bars are getting a specific kind of attention. i, personally, would not strive for that. my apperance has not helped me in my personal life …

S says:
Tue, 28th Apr 20094:16 pm 

Oh as for the pictures, I can't see Gwenivere's profile but Casey is definitely pretty.

cocomo says:
Thu, 30th Apr 20093:03 pm 

Ladies:

Go to the nearest male, and ask them if they find Paris Hilton attractive. Looks are not everything.

Strange that so many girls here claim to be 'pretty' (every girl does) and immediately jump on the moral high ground, stating that they want a guy with a great personality.

In practice, girls only go for guys that are popular and good looking; yet will drone on about how they truly want a guy with a personality.

Casey says:
Thu, 30th Apr 20098:18 pm 

Actually cocomo, we want an attractive guy with a good personality. But the personality definitely comes first. I can deal with a not so hot awesome boyfriend. But I CAN'T deal with a lame hot boyfriend. Luckily I have found the perfect guy (for me) Hot AND amazing!

Azalea says:
Sat, 2nd May 20097:16 am 

Is this the same girl who says she uses Adderall to get ahead? Welcome to the real world, my friend. Being beautiful is just as unfair an advantage as taking smart pills. You should be totally cool with this since you are cool with your study habits (pun intended). It all just ties into a generation that's obsessed with having it all for as little work as possible.

Then again, you could just go along the same vein and pay up for some plastic surgery…

Charlotte says:
Sat, 2nd May 200911:05 pm 

I agree with Laura. People go out of their way just to make you feel like the lowest peice of crap for being tall and pretty. They think that its okay to be like that to you. Nobody asks to be favored. I know I don't. I mean, I sometimes come to school without makeup and sit alone just so guys will leave me alone and girls dont have anything to stare and make fun of.

And nobody wants to be friends with the girl who all the guys are going to want. I used go out with my friends a lot but every guy wanted my number not theirs. Then one 'friend' pointed out that every guy always wanted to talk to me, then started making fun of my hair and clothes.

Then they stopped inviting me to go places with them, and wont even answer my phone calls.

And then theres that guy who is always buying things or trying to take you out, and when you tell him no he goes to his friends and tells rumors about things you've never done in your life.

But you know what really hurts?

When you start seeing yourself as what everyone calls you. Or you downplay yourself just so people can be sorry for you and know that you dont have it easy, just to get yourself a break.

Nobody is gonna get a free pass. I rather work for a ticket.

Casey says:
Sun, 3rd May 20094:16 pm 

Charlotte, I know exactly how you feel, I have been in the exact same boat. Girls seriously are bitches to one another. It's sad, truly sad.

Blah26 says:
Mon, 13th Jul 20098:55 pm 

The whole "rape is always about power" thing I think came about to change people's mind from thinking that rape is sex, or is somehow women's fault. It's a feminist tactic. It's really worked to make people realize that what the victim does is hardly related to them being raped; its the rapists mind that is the problem.

But its not really always directly about power. Sex, sexuality is power as is beauty, which is what this post is about, but that's as far as the "rape = power" argument goes sometimes. Some men get really f*cked up when they are being raised and end up hating women/resenting this natural power women have. People in general are threatened by women power. Other men become obsessed with female beauty and sexual power. Both of these type of men have psychological problems that can lead them to rape.

For example, some guy may get obsessed with a girl, think about her nonstop and about being with her and end up raping her in a psycho lust filled fury. Is he trying to compensate for his insecurity or lack of power? NO. He's just like someone with OCD or schizophrenia. Another guy may grow up hating girls because his mom was effed up or pretty girls always made him feel insecure and stupid. This guy is probably the type that will rape in order to get back the power that he feels was taken from him from females while he was growing up.

What people should say is that rape is about psycho people acting out their psychosis.

But most people are stupid and cowardly. In most places in the world people can't/don't want to discriminate between rape and sex. The difference is like being robbed at gunpoint and borrowing your friend money. People regularly want to blame rape victims because the less they identify with them the more they feel secure in the "fact" that they can't ever be raped because they wouldn't be at that place/time, wearing that, etc. But the fact is anyone can be assaulted.

anon8765 says:
Tue, 21st Jul 200910:36 pm 

Ok, Plain Jane here. As has been said before, both plain people and pretty people have different struggles. I’m not very pretty, but receive lewd comments when I’m out without my boyfriend ALL the time… from disgusting old men. Yet, if I go to a pub, sans-boyfriend, no guys my age will come up to me, despite my wearing make up, nice fitting clothes and taking care of what I was given. Now, some of my friends, who go WITH their boyfriends, receive A LOT more attention, why? Because they’re prettier.

These are my friends since high school. Back in high school it was the same thing. Yes, my friends are gorgeous, but also incredibly smart, funny and witty. They have a chance to prove they are more than just a pretty face, because guys approach them and talk to them and they get to make interesting conversations so lots of guys get hooked. Now, I have a boyfriend and I was lucky enough that he’s not that shallow… and that yes, he cared that I’m into amazing music. But when a gorgeous girl walks by, he can’t help but look. And I just have to be accepting of it.

He’s hot, for me at least. But if he had any other type of personality, I simply wouldn’t be with him. Oh, excuse me guys… but not ALL girls are shallow. You know what my friends have said about me all these years? That I have awful taste in men. Not because I fall for jerks, but because there’s something about ‘ugly’ guys that I just find alluring. They think the guys I like are ugly, I think they have strong features. Plus I’m picky when it comes to personality, too picky maybe, but yeah, I’m picky.

I know it must suck to have creepy pervs trying to get into your pants all the time, guys can be such jerks sometimes… I’ve seen how some of them treat pretty women, like they had a right over them, like they were public property or something, and that’s NOT right. That honestly deserves a hard kick on the balls.

But to all of you, pretty ladies, just understand that to us, who don’t get much attention, hearing you complain about being pretty is like a poor man hearing a rich man complain that he doesn’t have enough space in his pockets to carry all his money. Our jealousy and cattiness (?) just means that, deep down, we admire your beauty and wish we looked like you.

Thanks.

Shveta says:
Wed, 5th Aug 20091:08 pm 

I guess I am beautiful but to be honest I suffer from deep insecurity issues. If someone doesnt think I'm quite so beautiful, I get very hung up on it. STUPID, I KNOW!

twistedties says:
Thu, 6th Aug 20092:34 am 

I have always been insecure, even as a child. I am better than average looking and get lots of attention from men and women when my beauty for myself is seen by others. This is the part that makes me cry. I have had lots os success in my job and I am very smart but the only thing I ever wanted even as a small girl was to be truly loved by a man. I got married and had two children but he left me for a more beautiful girl. He tried to come back but I could no lomger accept him. He later told me some time later that he did care what the price was he wanted to b with her. Well I went into a deep depression and have had some highs but many many more lows. I have not had a serious relationship since. I have to put on a brave confident face for my coworkers and young daughters but they see thru my barrier and I feel so ugly and bitter inside. I know my ex was an idiot and his family raised him that way bevause his mom was ugly and insecure and felt he deserved some one that looked a certain way or better than her n it rubbed off on him. Knowing all this I still feel that pretty pple do liv happier lives. I look at Tom Bradey and Bridget and wonder how could he leave a beautiful pregnant woman. I geuss for a prettier woman. When I see a pic of her she's never smilling even though she has a beautiful child. She looks skinny and gaunt and I recognize that same pain and disappointment.I know life isn't fair but why does outer beauty command so much. He said he would have done anything to be with her and I will always remember that statement. Every young boy wants to marry a supermodel some how makes me feel that the man above didn't love as much as he did her. Ir maybe he has given all I deserve and I haven't done what I was suppose to do with it. The 1 thing I know for sure is that I feel ugly inside and it seeps to the outside and it depresses me and pple all but ignore me esp. when it comes to relationships.

twistedties says:
Thu, 6th Aug 20093:00 am 

Ditto Danni but a pretty girl gets more support from others no matter how superfical and growing up you need that support to grow into a confident person. When I feel good inside I get loads of attention even women compliment me but when I'm feeling ugly it seems pple are mor down on me. Maybe it really is what's on the inside. Or a combinatiob of both!!

Viagra says:
Fri, 14th Aug 20097:54 pm 

This is a great innovation. I am going to try it right now and see what happens.
Thanks

Ashley says:
Sat, 5th Sep 20095:24 am 

I Am blonde, not that attractive, but attractive enough, I date and people say i look fine…. and have been OK in the world……….A neighbor moves in right next door….she is gorgeous, blonde, very pretty face, Harvard, VP from money……………..she is the biggest snot, looks down on everyone and doesn't say hello or be friendly to anyone. I introduced myself to her when she moved in 2 years ago……she talks like a moron, says everyone in neighborhood is threaten by her because she is so good looking, she won't go to church because she knows all the wives are jealous of her and the husbands are wanting her, she said everyone at Harvard called her a snot…. if they are calling you a snot at Harvard…..your a snot….her head is always up in air and she has a stone cold no emotions look on her face she freaks me out…no warmth , no friendliness ……on her face ……but she is very beautiful to look at…….I have tried to be friends with her but she snots me off and says the world wants her, and she won't date men cause they are intimated by her education and such good looks……her Name is Beth….if you are reading this Beth…..get over yourself, you walk the street like you are above everyone….it's sad, people would need you and like you if you would use the gifts and talents God gave you for the good of others……be friendly and supportive, your head is up your ass and you expect peolep to worship you…..you are not a princess, she told me her friends from school are real princess and she thinks she is one…………….I have never seen her have a date and she freaks me out….I am not jealous of her , i was envious when i first met her……and now disgusted….she thinks the world wants her…….but she won't give back to the world……I am a freaked out neighbor…Help …how do i deal with this she is annoying and i want nothing to do with her, she makes me feel awful about myself whenever i see her in driveway she is soooo snotty…..!!!!!!!!Help

Sydney says:
Wed, 23rd Sep 20092:14 pm 

Ugh. Okay, I will come out and say, I think I'm very pretty, and many people agree (though I can hardly say that the sentiment is universal). However, whoever wrote this article is a narrow minded fool with self-esteem issues. I get a free pass? Bullshit. You have to deal with not getting hit on as much, I have to deal with….RACISM, YAY! (Yeah, actually, big titted blonde barbies aren't the ONLY people that the world considers beautiful. I'm half-black, and I bet I have to deal with things many of you will never even have to witness in person) Some other girls had to deal with RAPE. Not saying it was because they were pretty (old, fat, and ugly women get raped all the time) but it's sure of a hell lot worse to deal with than *gasp* actually having to have a personality for guys to like you. I mean, that's SO much worse than having to hear that every woman of my race is 'disgusting.' How do you think it feels for me to hear 'you're so pretty, for a black girl,' or 'you're pretty, but I don't like black women?' And it's not like I am JUST pretty: I'm funny, I'm smart, i have a personality. But no, since I have a nice face and body, since guys check me out and chat me up at parties, I have no problems, I get a free pass. The only free shit I get is when the vending machine accidentally gives me two bags of chips on accident, and that doesn't happen because I'm cuter than you. On top of that, I have to deal with people saying I have no personality, hating me, or saying I get a 'free pass' because they have shitty self-esteem? Yeah, my life is just FAN-TASTIC compared to yours when you had to watch someone more attractive get hit on drunkenly. Poor baby. >.<

Jennifer says:
Sun, 27th Sep 20097:20 pm 

Hi, I have agorgeous face and my body is still a work in progress…I am a pretty girl BUT very insecure because im overweight!! I know how it feels to be fawned over when smaller and little and considered a hot girl, i've attracted NFL and NBA players andplayers in the past and am saddened that less attractive girls get picked before me because they are little and they have NOTHING on me but smaller figure.. I know how to dress sexy and everything…I am just having a VERY hard time losing the weight!!!! I hate that guys will over look a once hot girl in a minute for a less pretty girl with a little body… I stilll have a self esteem and love myself but actually cannot weight to lose all this weight because I hate feeling ugly and skipped just because I am fat!!!! and not reallly that dam big but oh well that's life..I've always been nice to guys and still picky and attract guys and do not feel i have to settle for a guy just because im overweight at the present time..

Kat says:
Wed, 25th Nov 20097:22 pm 

Well…. pretty people can deny it all they want but case studies have proven that attractive people do have it easier in life and 50% use sex appeal to get what they want….even jobs they are not qualified for…..

Sam says:
Mon, 7th Dec 200911:20 am 

And another thing I forgot to mention: The stares.

I hate that people feel the need to stare. It's part of why I moved away from my hometown- I can't even go to the grocery store without men turning around or stopping in their tracks and staring, and it's so rude. Granted, where I'm from, the tall hourglass blond with large breasts, long legs and hair, and a tiny waist is not the norm. Regardless, the same thing happens every time I visit home. So, since they are staring and are going to stare no matter what you do, you feel pressured to look perfect, all of the time.

My parents don't help at all either, because all they want to do is cart me around and show me off around town. It makes me sick. But it's yet another instance where the ideal of beauty is reinforced, and I imagine this is a similar situation that other "Beautiful" women face in their every-day-lives too. This is one arena where I feel "plainer" girls have it easier- they don't have to worry about the constant stares and the constant judgment.

Sam says:
Mon, 7th Dec 20093:53 pm 

OK, so my take on this is that the majority of women (whether or not they are attractive by society’s standards) suffer some kind of neuroses in relation to attractiveness: For women who are the “ideal” or close to it, anxiety about being the ideal/keeping the ideal and all the work that goes into it are the main problem. For the rest, depression about not being able to achieve the “ideal” usually occupies the mind. Either way, both parties feel anger towards the society and the “ideal” image of beauty: the beautiful get angry because they only feel valued for their beauty rather than their personality/intelligence/worth as an individual, and the plain feel angry because without “beauty,” they don’t get nearly as many chances to try to show men/society their personality/intelligence/personal worth (even though a large percentage wouldn’t pay attention to these characteristics anyway). It’s a double edged-sword for sure.

I think I do agree that prettier people have it easier though- research has seemed to confirm this. And while they do have it easier, it still pisses them off that they get things in life (male attention, getting hired for jobs) only for their looks rather than for their skills, intelligence, or personality. Modeling (which everyone around me forced me into) didn’t help my view on any of this either- it only instilled in me that “society wants your body, your beauty, and not your mind.” My disgust combined with the catty competitiveness of the girls is what lead me to leave the industry. Today though, I find that in many places the same standards are true: I didn’t get hired at my job for “skill.” They didn’t even have a position open but created one just so I could work there- an opportunity that “plain” women don’t really encounter. Yeah, it’s nice that they don’t make me do things like take out the trash at work, but when my boss says “You’re too pretty for that, we didn’t hire you to take out the trash..” it kind of reinforces the reality of the situation. While I am grateful that I am considered “beautiful” by society’s standards, it still pisses me off that I’ve only gained things by beauty’s merit rather than being able to show people how intelligent/clever/funny I am.. And even despite all of this, I still strive to be as beautiful as I possibly can be, to keep up with the ideal because I fear what life would be like if I did not have it.

It’s a twisted cycle filled with both appreciation and hatred, and I wish people could just learn to love and accept people as they come, regardless of beauty.

Lizzie says:
Sun, 13th Dec 20091:06 am 

To reply to another post: yes, I do try to make myself less pretty. Specs, hair bunned up, pants all the time, etc. But that only serves to send the message that one might be shutting oneself off from the world; the baggy jacket seems like a defence mechanism. So it doesn't help. And while men hover and flit about me all day, the decent ones never, and I mean never, not even once, ask me out. So, to sum up, everyone is fighting a tough battle, be kind.

ps. A study quoted in The Happiness Hypothesis states that attractive people, are, in fact, less happy than their less pretty counterparts.

Truth says:
Tue, 29th Dec 20092:35 am 

God, the only thing worse than pretty people flaunting their looks is pretty people complaining about them.

Studies have actually shown that prettier people have it easier in life. They get better job positions; better pay; even teachers and mentors pay more attention to their more attractive students. Not only that, but prettier people are generally thought to be more approachable, more successful and more intelligent than average looking people. So while you may think that everyone assumes you’re stupid because of how you look, in actuality they’ve already decided that you’re more capable than your “unfortunately unattractive” counterparts.

You want to talk about being judged? An unattractive girl has to work twice as hard just to simply get the opportunities that are handed to pretty girls on silver platters. And if she’s vying for a position that a prettier girl wants, she better be much better qualified otherwise she ain’t getting that job. Unattractive people are rarely given a first chance, let alone a second. If a crime is committed and the suspect list is down to a pretty and not-so-pretty girl, the less attractive girl is going to be the prime suspect until substantial evidence proves otherwise. Like with race, we think these things aren’t a big deal until they’re put to the test.

And while I sympathize greatly about the sexual advances and rape, it’s not a problem that only pretty girls experience. Vulnerable woman are often taken advantage of. This is fact. Whether you’re drop-dead gorgeous or an average Jane, if you’re not protected, you’re at risk. Rape is the result of a messed up man, not a messed up woman, so blaming it on “being too pretty” is not at all a logical conclusion. Rape has little to do with the victim and more to do with the perpetrator. I’ve seen it too many times.

So maybe people don’t automatically praise your other qualities, but at least you’ll someday have the chance to prove that you’re more than just a pretty face. People don’t often give others a chance to prove they’re more than just an ugly face. To sit here and read about how tough life is for pretty girls because of how they’re looked at or how they’re “judged”, you have no idea how angry that makes a below-average looking person. Try being like me, invisible to everyone every day of your life. You’ll learn to appreciate the attention.

sinnie says:
Sat, 2nd Jan 20105:06 pm 

I work at a gym, so I’m required to be “on” at all times during my shifts – that means I’ve got to be pleasant, polite, helpful, and smiling, whether or not I’m feeling ill, tired, or I’m in a rotten mood. I do get several men smiling back at me all day, it’s true. Many of them have told me that they think I’m pretty, and have made comments that imply that I “must” have oodles of male friends and boyfriends to hang out with. Just yesterday, one male gym member came up to me, as he was leaving, and wished me a happy new year. He then said that he and his wife had been discussing me (which was a bit creepy), and that both had decided that my face should be on the cover of Glamour magazine. Embarrassed, I thanked him for the compliment. Having suffered from anxiety disorder and social phobia since the age of 13, it’s tough – sometimes excruciating – for me to be outgoing; my job’s a sort of forced therapy, though, because I’m obligated to talk to “strangers” even if I feel uncomfortable doing so. I must be going a great job of “faking it,” because I’ve learned that gym members constantly praise my helpfulness and politeness in comments to the management.

Now, let me tell you about my *reality* (whether you care to hear about it or not). I’m *6’1″*. I have an IQ over 130, and I’m a member of Mensa. I also have Asperger Syndrome. And, despite being (apparently) considered pretty by a bunch of men – all of whom are *over 55 years old*, by the way! – I’m NEVER, and I mean NEVER, even SPOKEN TO by anyone anywhere near my age, or by ANY guy who’s tall, fit, brainy, or remotely attractive. It’s as though I don’t exist. I’ve not been asked out on a date in *over 3 years*. I’ve had a grand total of *1* boyfriend. The grinding loneliness is killing me. Contrary to some of the statements above, all throughout adolescence, young adulthood, and adulthood, I’ve seen “average”-looking girls and women snag the guys I had crushes on; the guys in question never gave me the time of day – and still don’t. For decades, I blamed it on my height, because several outspoken guys had called me “intimidating” – but recently, I hung out with a male pal (who has no interest in me whatsoever) who told me to my face that my height isn’t all that intimidating (he’s at least 3″-4″ shorter than I am). So it seems that eligible guys aren’t avoiding me because of my attitude or my height…I’d love to know wtf I’m doing wrong, then. PLEASE don’t tell me that I get a “free pass” in life, ok?!

Ana says:
Sat, 23rd Jan 20105:15 pm 

I disagree. Being pretty makes like HARDER.

NO GUY wants to date you because they're too intimidated to ask you out.

If they do date you, all they want to do is brag to their friends about how they slept with a pretty girl, and dump you later.

Other women HATE YOUR GUTS just because you are pretty. They will start screaming fights with you at clubs, threaten to beat you up in the back alley for NO reason at all. You could be dying from a heart condition or kidney disease, and they will still hate you for looking good.

You never win.

Allison says:
Sat, 30th Jan 20105:26 pm 

Um, people have told me that I'm very beautiful, but I assure you I don't have an easy time with guys and I'm sure my shyness is part of the problem. In my experience, guys go after the average or even ugly girls because they either are slutty or friendly. These guys think they don't have to work as hard to get laid or go on a date since these girls are already expressing interest.

I used to have a friend who was physically ugly, but very friendly–at least initially. Once she got the guy, she would turn into an uber bitch, but the guy wouldn't dump her because she always wanted to have sex.

Beauty just intimidates men. I assure you beauty does not automatically mean someone is a stuck-up b****. You would be surprised by how compassionate a lot of beautiful women are and how spoiled a lot of ugly women are. What? You ask how could this be? It's real simple—there are nice people and jerks all who have varying levels of beauty.

Mani says:
Mon, 29th Mar 20109:37 pm 

I feel like I'm in the same boat as Allison. I have been TOLD I am beautiful by a large variety of people, but it doesn't seem to reflect that when it comes to my interaction with guys. I will never know though, because you always see yourself in a skewed light. Maybe I'm not really that beautiful…I just wish people would tell it to me straight.

Maybe at the end of the day, it all boils down to how you present yourself. This mad men quote always stuck out to me – "The juiciest gazelle are always the easiest to catch," Ken said that about beautiful women – pretty girls usually have the lowest self esteem. Then again, I don't get bombarded with attention all the time either. People may be intimidated, I don't really know and I never will, but at the end of the day it's all the same – I don't get asked out, and I don't have an easy time with guys. So for what it's worth, I don't think pretty people get a free pass, UNLESS they have confidence.

Mani says:
Mon, 29th Mar 20109:42 pm 

And Truth – SING IT. I couldn't have said it better myself.

I really hate it when girls complain about how hard their lives are because guys just won't leave them alone, and how HARD it is to be pretty. I just want to punch them all in the face.

Give me a break.

Lindsey says:
Wed, 2nd Jun 201010:24 am 

I disagree. I get told I'm a pretty girl. Tall, skinny, curvy, blonde hair, and blue eyes, but I don't get a free pass. Most people think I'm ditzy or mean. They are prejudice against me because of my looks. In reality it takes me a long time to get a boyfriend.

LG says:
Sun, 22nd Aug 20102:05 pm 

This is all so stupid. I'm blonde, tiny (tiny boobs, too, maybe that's my problem), good bone structure. Ask me how easy my life is with anorexia and body dysmorphia. I go out of my way to dress well and put makeup on only because, not only do I not believe I'm pretty, but because I need to hide now more than ever the toll that my self-hatred has taken on me.

I've never had a boyfriend. Never had a guy so much as look at me decently; it's always a leer. And these aren't guys my age (23). These are men at the gym who literally lick their lips and make lewd expressions. Should anyone have to put up with that?

I have few friends, in part due to how isolated my eating disorder has made me. I've never gotten freebies or anything of the like. An extra glance or smile, sure, but nobody's bought me groceries or anything. I haven't worked in a year, and even had one potential employer insult me the entire interview. I was more than qualified for the job, but he was as rude as anything, and I never got a callback. I'm no bimbo. I'm pretty serious, but laid back. Does any of this matter? Apparently not.