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Overheard: Stop Poking Me!
April 12, 2009 Posted in HaHa
[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!]
(Frustrated girl, at a computer.)
Girl: Who is this person? This ‘giant-nasty-rotting-vagina’ person? Wrote the thing about the giant Husky penis?
(Girl and guy, at the dining hall.)
Guy: This fish is weird. It’s like salmon, but it’s not quite there. I don’t like it.
Girl: Did you eat the skin?
Guy: Uh. Oh. Yup.
(Girl on the phone.)
Girl: I can’t get on that plane! I hate planes! I’m always afraid they’re gonna commit ritual suicide or something!
(Girl reading a paper.)
Girl: I think the world is ending. We all stopped smoking [weed], and suddenly we’re comedians.
(Guy, being snarky.)
Guy: Changing the laws of physics isn’t something you just do. It’s something I just do.
(Two guys in the hallway. One has a snazzy jacket.)
Guy 1: I like it. You look like a really… cool, gay English professor.
Guy 2: Yeah, that’s exactly what I was thinking. Well, the gay part, at least.
(Angry girl.)
Girl: The state is paying to put giant boobs on my campus!
(Two guys on a bench outside.)
Guy: They’d all say, oh, that’s horrible. Then they go jerk off. Pretty much the human response to every problem.
(Two guys standing near a crosswalk.)
Guy 1: I bet these crosswalks are, like, big video games for drivers.
Guy 2: Yeah.
Guy 1: Like Frogger.
Guy 2: I guess I was thinking like Mortal Kombat. Or Doom.
(Girls talking between rows of desks.)
Girl 1: I’m gonna get so fat on Easter.
Girl 2: Yeah, my weight loss plan goes sex, sex, sex, green beans, sex, sex.
(Guy and girl, yelling at each other.)
Guy: I’m getting my ass kicked by zombies and you’re just sitting there! What do I pay you for? Stop jerking off and help me!
(Boy, regretful, with coffee.)
Boy: I hate what the Internet’s done to me. If anyone ever asks what I’m listening to, I have to say “a Mega Man rock opera I found on YouTube.”
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SBG says:
Sun, 12th Apr 20093:30 pm
"why are there no good Easter parties? You know, like St. Patty's and Halloween!"
"Because it's a religious holiday. . . some people do believe in God you know. . . even if we think it's stupid"
REALLY?! Easter is a holiday because of God silly girls!
lucia says:
Sun, 12th Apr 20094:14 pm
two buff jocks talking: " No man see, Plankton is Mr. Krabs arch nemesis. And he has a daughter who's a whale."
" Oh!"
Kristina says:
Sun, 12th Apr 20094:14 pm
"Girl: The state is paying to put giant boobs on my campus!"
Where is this and is it too late for me to transfer?
Hope says:
Thu, 16th Apr 200910:25 am
Guy talking to friends: "So his cat who he loved dearly got ran over by a car. I know, sad, right? Well, the guy kept it in his freezer for a year because he didn't want to bury it. In his freezer… no bag or anything."
"I was wondering where the freezer was coming into this story."