Tuffy Luv Says: USE CONDOMS

April 14, 2009 1:00 pm     Posted in Advice, Sex  Tuffy Luv g+ page

condomGot a question for Tuffaleh? Got an itch you just can’t scratch?! Email her at tuffyluv@collegecandy.com to be featured in her weekly column!


By Tuffy Luv


Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’m really in love with my boyfriend and we’ve been dating for almost a year now. He’s a great guy and I know he would never cheat on me. So I’ve decided to go on the pill and give up condoms. What’s the quickest pill to kick in? I am so sick of condoms. I’m not even kidding.

Thanks!

Val

Dear Val,

Okay, look. I say this because I care about your well-being, so please don’t take this personally. But:

Don’t be an idiot.

Condoms are absolutely essential and you should NOT stop using them just because you go on the pill. You got that? YOU GOT THAT?! Listen up, girls. The pill is enormously empowering to women because it gives us power over whether or not we give birth. Right? Well, the condom does that for you too, except instead of birth, insert one of the following: genital warts, the clap, HIV–the list goes on and on.

Bottom line: DO NOT STOP USING CONDOMS. First of all, you don’t know what your partner has. (PS you should both be tested, and insist on seeing each others’ results, and I’m not kidding. Better safe than sorry here, for sure.) Second of all, cheating happens. I’m sorry. It happens to the couples you expect it to happen to,  but it happens to the happiest of couples too. It’s horrible, but breaking up with someone after the fact doesn’t protect you from the diseases they already gave you. So please, girls, please, Val, please, everyone–ALWAYS use condoms.

That said, going on the pill is usually a great idea, as long as you’ve consulted with your doctor. You also, of course, should not smoke if you’re gonna take oral contraceptives. Very dangerous.

Planned Parenthood is an excellent resource for all of these things. You can check out what they have to say about birth control here. You can also go to your local PP for medical or counseling purposes. Check out that website – there’s a lot of important information. Also very useful for the uninsured.

I’d like to point you in the right direction about what kind of pill you should take, but I’m going to level with you, honey. Tuffy’s not a medical professional. Birth control is serious stuff and you need to talk to someone who can actually help you find what’s right for your body and lifestyle. Hell, you might find a better option is the patch, or the NuvaRing, or even the Depo-Provera shot.

But even if I’m not a doc, I do know one thing: DO NOT STOP USING CONDOMS.

Hearts & Condoms Skulls,

Tuffy Luv

11 Comments on "Tuffy Luv Says: USE CONDOMS"

  1. rach says:
    Tue, 14th Apr 20098:21 am 

    thank you so much! i'm so happy you advocate super duper safe sex! its the only way!

  2. Sam says:
    Tue, 14th Apr 20098:31 am 

    I don't use condoms with my boyfriend, but we're both clean and willing to accept anything that would come out of it. That's just us I guess.

  3. Matt says:
    Tue, 14th Apr 20098:43 am 

    As a guy, I still insist on using a rubber. I know girls who frequently forget to take their pill or know of one or two who purposely stoppped taking their pill to try to get pregnant without the guy knowing. And it definitely protects against any unknown STIs/STDs.

  4. Lucy says:
    Tue, 14th Apr 20092:34 pm 

    Condoms do sometimes suck and they are not absolutely necessary in a monogomous relationship. Although they're also probably one of the greatest inventions of all time.

  5. zoe says:
    Tue, 14th Apr 20093:31 pm 

    when i went on the pill i asked my doctor about not using condoms anymore and her advice was that as long as i was careful not to miss one, that would be fine. i've been having sx without condoms for 5 years now and never come to any harm or got pregnant. me and my boyfriend were virgins but we still got ourselves checked out. now we have condom free sex in perfect confidence that we are std and pregnancy free and it is awesome. for once id say tuffy luv has got it wrong, if you trust each other fully then screw condoms, they take away half the pleasure and for the girl too, not just the guy!

  6. J says:
    Tue, 14th Apr 20094:20 pm 

    I agree, don't stop using condoms. Even if your guy has never cheated on you, and you have been faithful, it's VERY possible that one of you contracted an STD, such as HPV or HIV, and the virus is still in its incubation period. The HIV virus can go undetected for years. My sexuality professor used to work in an STD clinic and says he's seen countless monogamous, confused couples come in with an infection that was contracted was before they ever met, yet there were no symptoms until 7 months into the relationship. No way around it, use condoms.

  7. Meagan says:
    Tue, 14th Apr 20097:44 pm 

    I think tuffy luvs advice on this is superb. Even if there are those who dont agree.. I have to disagree with Zoe- just because you say so, doesnt mean you should tell the whole world to stop using condoms because you say its unnecessary. Now that is being immature.

    Sure couples can do what they want and how they want it- but I say only if they are prepared, and safe about it.

  8. Liz says:
    Tue, 14th Apr 20098:11 pm 

    This advice is dead on. You never know how your body will respond to the pill reguardless of the results of your friends or studies. No matter what its YOUR body responding to the chemicals and believe it or not crazy things can happen. I speak from experience, I became pregnant despite being on the pill for 9 years and taking plan B. My disaster could easily have been prevented by using a condom.

Tell us what you're thinking...