Your Mom Just Facebooked Me


Beware, your mother is on now Facebook. You don’t believe me? Well, CNN has the proof. They are reporting that women over 55 are the fastest growing group on Facebook. That’s right, your mother is sending you a friend request at this very moment.

Maybe you’re part of that lucky minority who hasn’t received that email yet, the email that will crush your boundaries and make you curse the social network’s very existence. That may be true, but your mom may still be just a click away from invading your personal Facebook space.  Studies show that “there are now about 1.5 million female users older than 55 on the site — roughly a 550 percent increase over six months ago.”

Unfortunately, my mother is among this statistic.

We became Facebook “friends” about a month ago and let me tell you, my world has never been the same since. At first, I thought our new virtual relationship could be fun. Maybe it would free up some of my cell phone minutes, make her feel more included and “hip.” Maybe I could leave her fun messages on her wall and tag her in embarrassing photos. Well… it’s not so fun. Not so fun at all.

If your mom has yet to find you on Facebook, here’s what you have to look forward to:

She will:

Write on your wall and sign it, “Love, Mom.”
Get confused and ask for your help. Again and again.
Sign up for applications and send you drinks and presents and puppies.
Question who people are, what they said and what it means.
Comment on inappropriate pictures, most likely by criticizing you.
Start conversations with “I was on Facebook and …”
Know what you’re doing and when you’re doing it.
Friend your friends.

Beware, Facebook is not mom-friendly. You will get frustrated, irritated, and embarrassed, so talk her out of it while you still can. If it’s too late for you, her new-found obsession should only last a few weeks. Laugh it off an start sharing war stories. Remember, we’re all in this together.



  1. Sam says:

    Thankfully my Mom has no interest in Facebook. I can't imagine how awkward that would be.

  2. Reid says:

    My mom wants me to help her get a facebook, but only because she has a group of friends who put up pictures, etc. of their weekends together. I protested at first and told her that it was weird and creepy but then she told me she could care less about being my friend and just wanted it to stay connected with her ladies. We have an agreement that she won't friend me or my friends and I honestly think she could care less. I think I'll be the one who gets most curious and friends her eventually.

  3. vpsych says:

    Err.. privacy features? You can block people specifically now if I recall.

  4. My mom will never get a Facebook because she doesn't see the point, which I am thankful for. However, my aunts are all about facebook. I add them, to be nice, and then they write weird things on my wall. It's kinda silly, so I don't mind too much.

  5. grace b says:

    Two words:


    It works wonders. :)

  6. Lauren says:

    Let me just say that you're awesome for finding that picture. And thank god my parents have no interest in Facebook.

  7. …and my dad just joined twitter.

  8. Tori says:

    My mom joined Facebook and Twitter a long time ago. We're close so I have no problem with it, really. My friends love her and even friended her BEFORE she found them. What I just found out though is that she set up a Twitter account for my grandma… lol

  9. Casey says:

    I feel your pain. My mom became my "facebook friend" about 3 months ago, and while I don't mind her as my facebook friend (she knows everything I do anyways, we have a great open relationship) she joined facebook because 2 of her 5 sisters were on it, and they were already my "facebook friends" when my mom decided to join. Since my mom has joined 4 of her sisters are now on and they are the ones that I have to worry about. My mom doesn't judge me or criticize me because she's my mom and she loves me and I'm an adult, but my aunts are a different story. They love me, but they're old.

    I updated my status to say "Interesting weekend" because that particular weekend my boyfriend and his friends got extremely wasted and humped each other ALL NIGHT! My most conservative aunt on facebook commented on my status saying "why such an interesting weekend?" "Umm, because Aunt D. I got wasted with my BF and friends and watched basically a 4 way male orgy that the BF you just love so much was a part of." Yeah, couldn't really say that. Now I don't even update my status or post pictures that aren't family friendly. :(

    Oh and every time I log on I have about 20 application invites from each aunt! that's about 60 invites! Luckily my mom thinks they are stupid, hopefully she'll knock some sense into her sisters.

    I did however have to show my mom around the site the other night and show her "how to facebook" she doesn't use it that much and didn't know how to check her inbox, notifications, invites/requests, etc.

    OH old people!

    oh yeah and now my dad is thinking about joining so he can annoy people via the web in addition to in person and on the telly. THAT will be a joy given that he is completely computer illiterate and has THE WORST TEMPER IN THE WORLD! and doesn't take kindly to people "showing" him how to do it, he just wants you to tell him and explain it. UGH! so frustrating!

    Ok, done venting :)

  10. yolanda says:

    i semi-feel the pain. my mom has a facebook but we never talk. and she post a few pics up but they arent THAT bad. what i get pissed off about is when she pretty much stalks the girls that y brother talks to and looks at all of the bad pics of them and she uses that as her amo against my brother. fb should not allow old people

  11. Jade says:

    I wish Facebook had never gone beyond college students because then this would have never happened!

  12. Sam says:

    Me too Jade. I loved it when it was just college students – no annoying applications back then either. Oh the good old days.

  13. Gwenivere says:

    My Mom joined Facebook, but it's not that bad. She just wanted to be more in the loop with me because we live 2200 miles apart. She rarely ever leaves embarrassing messages. Instead she just goes around facebook, looks at the pictures and tells me how happy and great I look. She does the same with my cousins. It's kind of nice actually because she never really bothered to do any of that when I lived in her house! I guess you can appreciate things more when you don't see someone for a much longer period of time.

  14. Betsy says:

    Well…. I am one of the elderly that is on facebook, myspace and twitter. Fortunately for me, I don't have any kids. I have a niece that pushed me to get myspace. She doesn't have a problem with being friends. I don't need to read her bar stories because I am usually her designated driver.

  15. Karmen says:

    My mom joined facebook. At first, I thought I would just poke her to death to make her frustrated and quit. Nope. She seems likes the poking war.

    I sound like I'm 80 years old, but I miss the good ol' days of facebook. Does anyone remember when facebook was about helping college kids out find out who was your class so you could ask them what the homework assignment is? Instead, now it's about how much people can suffocate you with their stupid application requests.

    The worst part is that my mom not only sends me these stupid ass application requests, she also tags me in those notes that are reminiscent of 8th grade chain emails. "25 things about me u already no cuz ur my daughter!"

    I don't care that my mom looks at my pictures. She already knows the shit I do. The day my dad joins is the day I deactivate my account. That's the sign of the apocalypse.

  16. Stephanie says:

    Meh. I stopped using a facebook a while ago, and personally, I wouldn't have cared. What I would have done is become extremely unresponsive and not have much activity on my profile so they won't question it. And personally, it's okay if people over 55 are on facebook. And you can take advantage of privacy settings so that they can't see what you don't want them to see.

  17. I love, love, love this article!

    My mother just asked me if I could help her sign up for facebook and I said if you need help–I'm not helping you.

    She WILL do every one of the items on the list above. I cannot tell you how many times she calls me asking me to look something up. Just the other day she called me in North Carolina from New Jersey so I could help her find a restaurant between 54th and Broadway in New York City. Is she kidding? No Facebook for you!

  18. brilliantmindbrokenb says:

    My boyfriend's family is much more facebook savvy than mine. Of my family, one of my cousins and an uncle have found and friended me, but on his side his brother, sister-in-law, mother, and aunts have all friended me.

    I actually appreciate it. I'm doing fundraising right now to be able to get a service dog this summer, and their help has been absolutely huge.

    US button:

    Australian button:

    Canadian button:

  19. […] Mom Just Facebooked Me April 15, 2009 – 10:30 am By COED Staff • Your Mom Just Facebooked […]

  20. Well, Shit. You are all brilliant-young-college-student-type people. The solution is clear; start a new social networking site and leave FB to us fogies.

  21. Kristina says:

    Anyone else think it's odd that a couple of the comments on this article are from mom-aged folks as well? WTH are they doing reading a website aimed at college-aged girls?

    And I thank God every day that my mom is still afraid of computers.

  22. vpsych says:

    For application spammers. Just block them from sending you application [invites]. They won't get a message (as far as I know). They can try to send you one and it just gets auto deleted.

    As for status updates, I don't know if you can block certain people from seeing them). But you could always check in the privacy page.

  23. heartjourneys says:

    Oh my God! This is SOOOO true! As a mom, I have to say, Facebook is a great reality measure and a devastating fantasy buster!

    First, I saw pictures of my son smoking pot and lectured him about how future employers would see it (he ended up deleting his page, so now I'm in the dark again.

    Second, while I was in Costa Rica, I found out on FACEBOOK that my 18 year old daughter got MARRIED! When she tried to lie to me about it, I read her best friend's comments about the "wedding!" Then I went to her "husband's" page. Her status and name were changed. Without facebook, I may never have known!


  24. bob says:

    Hah,my mom is mutual enemies with technology.

    One less thing on my shoulders.

  25. alliepeach says:

    I was late joining facebook as I didn't want people all up in my business. I come from a super small town and most of the folks there were already on it. I had no interest in re-establishing relationships with the people I didn't like from high school, or the older gossip factory workers and religious people who still thought I was squeaky clean. I intended to come on entirely privately, quietly and unsearchably adding just my current friends in my new city. And my sisters.

    BIG MISTAKE! Within minutes of adding me, my sister took the liberty of "suggesting" my whole town to friend me. Within a day I had 57 friend requests. I added none of them at first, but soon my sister kept hounding me because everyone kept asking her what was wrong with me, and why didn't I want to add them. I hate confrontation, and eventually caved. Sometimes I want to delete many of them, but don't want to be rude. Even my mom's 83 year old ex-Avon lady requested me. I drew the line there. I was recently publicly facebook-bashed by an old classmates' mom. I added a photo to a group which I though was private. It wasn't, and of course posted to everyone's news feeds. It had a sexual reference in the photo, and the mom (who also happens to be a minister's wife) wrote on my public wall that she was very upset by some of the images that I was posting and wanted me to remove them. Again, this is posted to everyone's news feeds. Has anyone established social etiquette for these situations yet?

    My Grandma is on it, as well as a bunch of aunts and uncles. They occassionally leave messages like "You look beautiful in your new pictures. Grampy says hi and he's very proud of you. Stay safe out there and call if you need anything. Love, Auntie" Cool. Real cool. I wish I could delete them, but love my aunt and don't want to be rude. Anyone else have a dilemma about these things?

  26. Laura - St. John&#03 says:

    My mom joined facebook a few months ago, and now she stalks my facebook status. If it says I'm sick, she calls me worried. Ridiculous.

  27. A Mom says:

    I think it is great. I also think if you don't like it go back to my space. I'm a mother of 6 and its to bad you just can't be open with your parents like my kids are with me. I don't know everything and I'm sure I don't want to know everything. But even at my age I have friends and we like to connect a lot. This is a great way to do it and if you don't want people or your parents to know things that your doing don't do then or at least don't post it. Lori's right we're here to stay and we may be getting older but by all means we are not old. Your day will come….LOL!!!


  28. […] Your Mom Just Facebooked Me Beware, your mother is on now Facebook. You don’t believe me? Well, CNN has the proof. They are reporting that […] […]

  29. […] being able to eat yummy home cookin’ but also having to deal with our mom asking us to help her edit her Facebook profile (which reminded me to delete those suggestive pictures from last year’s Halloween party […]

  30. Joe says:

    My grandma has a facebook, as well as both my mom and dad, as well as EVERY one of my aunts, and all of my little cousin. Even little 5 year old Michael.


  31. Carly says:

    My Mom stalks my Facebook status too. Once I put it as " is wishing she could fall asleep already" because I had to get up early the next day and wasn't tired at all, which is pretty normal for a college student. She wrote on my wall the next morning " Is everything ok? Why haven't you been able to sleep lately? Call me and let's talk about it." She now knows that she is banned from such comments lol

  32. talkstoself says:

    Both my mom and my dad have Facebook. It's not a big deal. I told them up front that I won't be friends because I think it's weird, and I like to maintain at least some semblance of privacy from them haha. They respect that because I've always been honest with them. They use Facebook to network with their friends, and I use it to network with mine.

  33. Shayla. says:

    This has sadly happened in my house now.

    She doesn't leave messages on my profile, normally just asks me what my status is about. And see pictures of me. Etc.

    The other day she told me to stop swearing on facebook.

    I was just like :| Uh.

  34. Sandy says:

    My mom is 52 years old and has a Facebook account. I am 19 years old and have no interest in creating one. I always thought it was supposed to be the other way around, but I guess not.

  35. Jenny says:

    haha, this article is great. I'd like to share it with all my friends by posting it to my facebook…but then my mom would see it and take offense. ;)

  36. Jase Haywood says:

    I learnt so much from this

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