He Said/She Said: Let’s Talk About (Oral) Sex, Baby


I have spent 8 years (not continuously) with my mouth between a dude’s legs, and while I finally know that I’m good at it (one fine young man – whose name I do not know – exclaimed, “Wow! That was good!”), I still don’t love all the work is involved. It kills my jaw, my neck, and I’d rather let the guy handle things on his own than risk lock jaw on a sweaty appendage.

And do I get paid back? Not often. Lots of guys I know and have “interacted” with really aren’t into making the trip downtown on a lady. “It’s so hard!” they say. “You don’t know what we’re dealing with down there!”

Um, excuse me? They think they have it hard (pun totes not intended)?

I decided to take this issue on myself with my favorite IMing male to see if we could work through our problems and come to some sort of truce for men and women everywhere. Will this entice more men to venture South? We can only hope.











  1. andy says:

    giving a bj is wayyyy harder then going down on a girl!(not that i know from experience)

    i mean we have to have something shoved down our throats and then try desperately not to gag/throw up.

    i think Samantha said it best "You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suction, and gag reflex, and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don't call it a job for nothin"

    All they have to do is a little lick here and there…

    Going down on a girl may not be as stright forward but i think it is definitely easier!

  2. Jen says:

    hahah, funny he said/she said.

    Coming from experience with guys and girls, I'd say girls are waaaay easier. For all the reasons Samantha points out (above), but also because it's just more fun to go down on a woman. I don't really know why (maybe I'm gayer than I even know…), but I'd rather go to the dentist than go down on a dude, and I'd give up the internet for a week to get to go south on certain females…

  3. Lily says:

    I don't know if this makes me a weird girl or an ideal one-night stand (maybe both?) but I definitely like giving oral more than getting it. Maybe it's because I don't have much of a gag reflex…jaw and neck pain afterward is definitely not fun, though.

  4. Nick says:

    Iam a man ,and first i'd like to say that i love going down on girls!!! Its wonderfull and i don't understand why some guys dont do it…

    I do blowjobs on realistic dildo and i must say i love that too but the neck hearts after,not much,but a little bit.But giving a blowjob is so good,especially when you are in the mood for love.I do love sucking dick ,its glorious!

  5. Dirk Diggler says:

    "I do blowjobs on realistic dildo and i must say i love that too but the neck hearts after,not much,but a little bit"


  6. Candie says:

    You girls (and guys) should try getting in a more comfortable position while going down on a guy. It's definitely harder on the neck when he's laying down…try doing it on your knees while he's either standing or sitting on the edge of a bed/chair.

  7. Rozy says:

    My boyfriend never had a problem going down on me from day one (he's unusually good at it and does it with ease…), but I for the life of me cannot give him a proper blowjob for nothing. Gagging…spitting up (ugh), jaw pain, so embarrassing…why? I've only made him come twice (so strenuous), but I seem to be losing my touch because I can't get him to anymore. "The more drool, the better!" Yes, because looking like a drooling ninny sure makes me feel sexy…blargh.

    And of course, what kills me it is when teeth will occasionally scrape when I AM doing well, so I get a yelp of pain, and it's back to square one…dammit. I wish I knew how to do them right and properly. :c

  8. Thomas says:

    As a guy I have never had a problem going down on a girl and always considered oral as a trade, I go down/she goes down.

    I would guess most guys that aren't as into have had a girl in the past who told them just to 'stop' as they were doing it wrong and are intimidated to do it wrong again. Probably easiest to be reassuring and that you would guide him to get getting you off.

    As for the neck pain…try a different position. Think of a 69, but instead of straddling your partner/hookup, have your knees by his/her shoulder to the side. Your neck will be in a much better position, more straight. As far as BJ tips, pay attention to the frenulum.

  9. tightie says:

    Hey, making the trip down there is fun! Even better is this…

  10. sauer kraut says:

    Here's some timely reading for all you swallower/spitters:

  11. Kayla says:


  12. asobov5 says:

    great article ! i know your friend got mad , but i have to agree when you said we should skip oral all together ! if guys think going down on girls is hard , and girls thinking going down on guys is hard (which it IS !) we should just never do it … ever !!

  13. sam says:

    Hmm, I also recommend trying a different position. Or possibly improving technique so it doesn't take as long. I love giving oral but really prefer to not receive it at all. And it rarely takes longer than 2 minutes and I've never had neck pain from it.

  14. Sampson says:


    ha ha adult stars teach MEN how to have sex like pros and last as long as they want… very cool

  15. Alex says:

    Unless there are physical or emotional reasons to abstain from oral sex…..

    Any man who won't go down on his woman is a chauvinistic clod who obviously doesn't deserve her. His inability to enjoy the simple pleasures of life means he'll spend much time wondering why he can't keep a lover.

    And any woman who won't go down on her man or forces him to constantly beg for a little oral loving is a repressed, selfish cow who will probably spend many bleak nights wondering why she's alone.

    BTW any man or woman who claims not to like getting oral sex is either fibbing, physically unable to enjoy it or is SERIOUSLY fucked up.

    Enough said…..

  16. Sujan says:

    Yes.The rule is that anything that can be teiasmnttrd through intercourse can also be teiasmnttrd through oral sex. 1. HPV acquired while performing oral sex is a major risk factor for throat cancer. 2.It is possible to transmit herpes during oral sex, and the virus can spread from either partner.3. If you don’t choose to use protection for oral sex, you should know that the risk of HIV transmission increases if the person performing the act has cuts or sores in his/her mouth, if ejaculation takes place in the mouth, and if the individual receiving oral sex has any other sexually teiasmnttrd diseases. The risk is primarily for the person performing the oral sex4. It is possible to transmit chlamydia during fellatio, and both the recipient and the person performing the act are at risk.5. Syphilis is extremely easy to transmit via oral sex. In fact, in some areas of the United States, oral sex has been shown to be responsible for as many as 15% of syphilis cases.In summary, unprotected oral sex puts you at risk for numerous sexually teiasmnttrd diseases. If you perform unprotected oral sex on your sexual partners, you should mention it to your physician. They may want to check your throat when they are screening you for other STDs.

  17. Brandon_Azura says:

    As a guy, going down on women is definitely a must if you intend on getting a blow j. I don’t have a problem with it personally, but sometimes my tounge & jaw get sore but then I just use my fingers, I haven’t had any complains yet, plus I have no problem asking for directions =) As for girls giving me head, I’m pretty easy b/c I love getting a BJ so much I can Cum everytime, plus I love when she bites my shaft a little bit! Drives me crazy! So, when a girl accidently rubs her teeth against me…it’s makes me harder, lol and yes I know that is not normal. One thing though ladies, DO NOT FORGET THE BALLS. Lol

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